My Journey to finding Me!

Day 78: Snow Day!

2012-02-13T12:41:00.001-08:00

Well it is snowing outside and I love snow :-) I actually got to leave work early because I was in Cape to train and needed to make sure I could get back to town before it got really bad. I'm kindof sad that I won't get to enjoy the snow though, because I have an appointment with dentist in the A. M. to finish my root canal!

Tomorrow is weigh day and I'm anxious! I really wish I could shed off more than 1-2 pounds a week! It's a pretty big pain to work as hard as I do in the gym and not see larger numbers. I know that it's because of the PCOS, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating. That's actually one of the reasons why I've never successfully lost weight. It takes so much MORE energy than it takes other people and I get so discouraged so FAST!

On The Biggest Loser they are always trying to figure out why they aloud themselves to get that size, or what caused them to over eat or whatever... so I've spent a LOT of time reflecting on that. What I have come up with: it's complicated. Lol. Part of the reason I became obese in the first place is kindof a mess! My mom wanted so badly fort sister and I to be healthy and not overweight. So she did exactly what the 'health professionals' told her to do. We had vegetables and fruit and LOTS of Carbs because THAT'S what the food pyramid said to do. So the weight just slowly crept up on me. By the time I was in High School I was definitely over weight...but not anywhere near as bad as I felt. I graduated when I was 17 & weighed somewhere around 200. I saw a 300 pound person when I looked in the mirror.

By the time I met Jamie, my dear crazy hubby, I had gained another 20-30 pounds and was happy a a jaybird.. I had no idea how out of control I was. I ate whatever I wanted. Mostly frozen pizzas, chips, tv dinners, fast food and sweets. And over the next 8 and half years I gained, on average, 10 pounds a year. From year to year, that didn't seem like much at all. But every pound added up and before I knew it, I was up to 305. The last 45 came on faster than any other and that was as my sister's divorce unfolded and I quit smoking. It came on LIGHTENING fast! So I really don't think that and specific thing made me eat crap and get fat. I do know that I probably would have attempted to LOSE the weight much sooner, if it weren't so Hard! I feel like its 3 times as hard for me as it is for normal people. I literally burn an average of 7,000-8,000 calories in the gym on TOP of the more than a pound a week I should be burning when you consider that my body burn 2200 calories a day if I were to do absolutely nothing but lay in bed, and I am pretty stinkin active with work and stuff and I eat less than 1500 calories a day! I should seriously (according to the math) be losing at least 5 pounds a week! Boo on my stupid body!! Lol!! But at least I'm LOSING! That's all the really matters in the grand scheme of things.

Day 77: A new appreciation for my Blessings

2012-02-12T11:51:00.001-08:00

I had an unsuspected surprise comment from my mother-in-law this morning that made my day. What you have to understand is that she is very oblivious to her surroundings. She's schizophrenic and bi-polar and she is super sweet. She actually lives with my husband and I, because for some reason, she makes her own financial decisions and those decisions got her in a rut that she just couldn't get out of without help. So she has been staying with us since June of last year. Before then, I just thought she was this crazy psychotic woman and I didn't really 'know' her, if you know what I mean. But, in the time she has lived with us, I've really gotten to know her and her quirks and actually understand her a whole lot better. Now I love her, despite her craziness. :) so anyways, I felt like you needed a basic understanding of her, to know why her comment meant so much to me. We were standing in the middle of church service during worship, and she looks over at me, then she looks down and back up to my face and she leans over and says, "Honor, those pants are falling off of you!" lol! It was such a matter of a fact statement and it really caught me off guard! But it really touched me too! That was her way of complimenting my weight-loss in the only way she new how.

I don't remember if I ever wrote about emotions before, I know I planned to, but I thought I would go a little more in depth about it today anyways. The further I get into this journey, the more my emotions are on a roller coaster! I can cry, laugh, or scream at the drop of a hat! I don't know if it's just because I am changing what goes in to my body so drastically, or maybe my hormone levels are just all out of whack, but I hope it levels off just a little!

I was in church this morning, and really thinking about how much I've missed over the past few months because I've been so exhausted that I literally choose sleeping in sometimes over getting up and going. I have a great associate who works two hours every Sunday morning (10-12) so that I am able to go, and I sleep in instead of going sometimes! (It's that whole, can't get enough sleep thing that I talked about the other day) And I feel like dirt about it. I don't talk a lot about My spirituality in this blog, mostly because I don't want someone to not read it because they feel like I'm 'preaching' to them or something. Well that's crap. And I'm done with that. Without God, I would have NEVER made it this far in my journey. In fact, I believe that the reason I finally had the determination to start this journey was because he put it on my heart. And what have I done over the past 76 days to thank him? I have fellowshipped with my very special church family less, I have gone to church less, and I actually realized today that I even PRAY less! Thank God for SMACKING me in the face with that this morning! Because THAT stops today too. I feel refreshed today, renewed, at peace. My pastor preached a great message that really spoke to me.

I feel completely blessed right now. Yes, I still have worries and concerns with our finances, no, my life is far from perfect. BUT...my 9 year wedding anniversary is on Wednesday and I love my husband very much. We have a roof over our heads and the money to be able to buy healthy foods(because we all know, they cost more), and we have many other blessings that I take or granted too!

My emotions are so crazed out right now, that I am listening to the preacher talk about his visit to the doctor a few weeks before and how out of control his sugar was and I just was thinking, "wow it's a blessing he's even here! His sugar problems could have put home in a sugar coma!" and I started crying. Then I got myself under control again, and BAM someone I love to death was standing behind me bawling her eyes out on the pastor's wife's shoulder and I start crying again. Just because I didn't know what was wrong with her, and I was sad because she was sad. Lol. NO, I'm not pregnant. I wish. But no. I'm just an emotional wreck!

I thank God for bringing me on this journey and giving me the will power that I lack. I know that some day I will be able to look back on this entire crazy journey and I'll say something like, "It seemed never ending while I was trudging through day by day, but looking back it all happened pretty fast" and I know that's the way I'll feel, because it's already been 77 days!! Wow!

Thank you, my friends, for inspiring me and motivating me. :-)
<3 Honor

Day 76: Good food day vs. Bad food day

2012-02-11T20:28:00.001-08:00

The weekend is definitely already taking its toll on me! And I still have to get through tomorrow and Monday! It is busier than usual right now at the studio because everyone is getting their income taxes back, so they are having portraits made. Yay us! But training someone while it's busy is hard work!

I find myself daydreaming a lot these days about how great it would be if I didn't have to work. I would be able to go to the gym every day! I just get so overwhelmed sometimes by how busy I feel like I am. And I honestly wonder if I will ever get over that feeling. I have been balancing work with workout time for 2 and half months now, and you would think maybe I would be adjusting a little by now, but the weekends are just really hard on me!

Today actually seemed to go by pretty slow, even though I had a lot to do and I think I know why....When I have good 'food' days, my day seems to fly by. By that, I mean that I feel full all day and don't have cravings to bad and those are GREAT DAYS! And then there's days like today, a bad 'food' day, when I feel hungry all day and I crave sweets and snacks and salty chips all day. It has been SUPER hard and I even went over my calories a little today because it was THAT hard. It seems so weird to me how much my brain plays tricks on me. And feeling hungry, is one of the hardest things for me to overcome. I can forced myself to workout, I can eat healthy food. But when I feel hungry, my brain says it it's time to eat. Some people would say I should have a small snack when that happens. Haha NO. If I went by that today, I would have been munching every 30 minutes. I read somewhere that sometimes an obese person mixes their body's signals of 'I'm hungry' with the signal of 'I'm thirsty' and so when you feel a hunger pain to drink a glass of water. That actually REALLY helps me sometimes! Not today. I think some days are just going to be bad days when it comes to that do I'm just going to have to learn how to overcome it! Today I give myself a D- for effort on that because I went over my calories. I will do better next time. I will!!

Have sweet dreams my friends :)
<3 Honor

Day 75: Snooze Addiction

2012-02-10T16:43:00.001-08:00

I am NOT a morning person! I just thought I would throw that out there. I actually would LOVE to be able to get up early in the mornings and get stuff done and get a short workout in..ha, yea right! It takes me 15 minutes to get to work in the morning and I have to be there at Ten. So I do good to get up at 9:15...that gives me thirty minutes to get woke up, check my Facebook, eat breakfast, pack my lunch, and get dressed for work...yep...I'm late a lot! I really do have to stop sleeping to late! But what can I say? I get all snuggled in and I don't want to get up! Lol. I am a snooze button addict! So that's something I'm going to work on, we'll see how it goes...I was honestly hoping that maybe as I lost weight my body would stop acting like it needed 9-10 hours of sleep, so I'm still banking on that! ;)

Today was a pretty good day again. Friday's are days that I take off from working out so I always just kindof feel lazy on Friday's even though I am INSANELY sore from yesterday's torture...er...um...I mean workout! Haha. It really was pretty brutal though. I just did my best and with two weeks off from weight training...whew...I'm FEELIN IT!! I swear I was walking around that studio limping like an old lady!! Haha.

Whew! I'm TIRED!! And ready to snuggle up and go to sleep :-)

Good night friends!
<3 Honor

Day 74: Week one or Week Eleven?

2012-02-09T14:33:00.001-08:00

Oh my! My body feels like it did the very first week! If THAT'S what happens when you change up your workout I sure hope it means I'll see some good numbers this week!! I am literally aching in muscles all throughout my body! Lol. I'm sure I look like an old lady walking through the store!

Today was a pretty good day. Work was pretty good, and over fast because I worked a short day today, and then I got enjoy lunch at Subway with my sis (her treat, which is always great!) And we did a little wondering around Walmart and a little bit of shopping. Now I'm about to be headed to the gym for hopefully a really great workout!

This weekend is going to be crazy and I'm not excited about it...I have to work in Cape tomorrow all day, plus an hour and I half of driving and then I work 10 more hours on Saturday, Sunday, and back to Cape on Monday. It's going to be rough and I'm going to super excited to see Tuesday come!

Have a great evening!
<3 Honor

Day 73: A new level of NO PAIN, NO GAIN!!

2012-02-08T20:10:00.001-08:00

Holy Toledo my body hurts!! I don't quite understand why I'm hurting SO bad, but I do know part of the cause. I really, honestly believe that the two weeks I spent on the Ironman stuff and then coming back to Zumba and Ypump may be largely responsible.All I know is...I HURT! And I'm a tad bit frustrated with my knee! It's REALLY hurting right now!! So I went to Walgreens tonight and got this hot/cold pack thing that has a little brave it goes inside of and you can Velcro it to your knee...DEAR LORD I pray that it helps! And my right foot is REALLY getting to me too. Otherwise, besides a little muscle discomfort, I feel great! It's frustrating to have that stuff to deal with because I feel like I've come so far, and I don't have time for any set-backs!

I get so angry when I go to get something, like a knee brace, or workout clothes, and they don't come big enough for me. Are you kidding me? With the workout clothes I get insanely mad because it's just ridiculous!! Larger people are the people who actually NEED to lose weight and need clothes to workout in. I think that just gives overweight people an easy out and is just more cause for low self-esteem. Yes, I also think smaller people need to workout to be healthy, but sheesh man, really?!? I honestly don't think that the healthier portion of the general public gives a rats butt about the Obesity problem in our nation and the more I find out about it, the more ticked off I become.

Ok, with that said, I feel much better now. Lol. What can I say? I'm passionate about what I believe!

Today has been a stressful day...I did well on my food, and even though I'm dealing with aches and pains and complaining about it, I still burned 2200 calories in the gym today. But we are dealing with some financial stress, and it's a pain in my butt. Our electric bill runs double and even triple to everyone we know, and now our water bill has tripled for some unknown reason (we checked for leaks and there are none) so yea...life is stressing me out a bit. I get so annoyed when we finally think we are starting to get our heads above water for a minute, something comes along to shove us back under. Boo on that! I don't like it one bit.

But we will prevail, we always find a way. And although I may not like being patient or doing things differently than we planned, sometimes we've just got to like it or lump it.

Sorry my blog is so depressing today! I'll be sure to find something funny or entertaining to talk about tomorrow ;)
Love you all!
<3 Honor

Day 72: Weigh-In Number Ten

2012-02-07T18:39:00.001-08:00

Today marks the end of my tenth week in this journey...it's so crazy for me to wrap my head around! On one hand it seems like it has taken Forever to get to this point, but on the other hand, it seems like it was just yesterday that I sat in a room full of overweight people knowing they were all my competition and sizing them all up!

Last night, after my workout, I had a nice healthy turkey sandwich and some baked Cheetos and I was feeling good! I walk in the front door of my home and my nose is assaulted by the delicious aroma of greasy pizza and chocolate chip cookies!! Are you kidding me!??! I just about had a freakin heart attack! I was instantly ticked off at my husband and decided to take a Melatonin and go to bed before I either killed my husband or ate some food I definitely had no business eating ESPECIALLY the night before a weigh in!!

I had made up my mind...if I had a loss this morning, I was going to treat myself to some All Meat Stuffed Crust pizza, but if I didn't lose anything, I wouldn't be able to splurge because I would have to make up for not losing. So I get on the scale this morning and bam!! Two more pounds!! Woohooo! 297.2...getting farther away from that 300 and it feels great! So that's it! I get pizza for dinner! Out of curiosity I get on My fitness pal and look up the pizza I planned to get....480 Calories PER SLICE! Are you KIDDING me!?? That's pure evil! And I know dang good and well I'm going to eat at least 3-4 pieces because it's been so long since I've had any!! Argh!! 1900 calories? Really!? So I stewed about it for a few hours and in the end I decided that there was no way I spent the last 71 days busting my butt and eating (mostly) healthy to screw up That Bad now. So I got a Veggie Delight pizza and enjoyed a 600 calorie dinner instead of a 2000 calorie one!

In the end, I'm very proud of myself for the way I handled my day. I stayed under 1500 calories AND I burned nearly 1800 today at the gym. :) It has been a very good day for me and I can't WAIT to see what the next few weeks have in store for me!

On Day 1 of my journey my BMI was 56.5. Wow. And today...Day 72, my BMI is 48! So it has dropped 8.5 points! And I've lost 52.7 pounds :-) Yay!!!

Thanks for tuning in ;-)
<3 Honor

Day 71: Healthy Life NOT Healthy Diet!

2012-02-06T18:29:00.001-08:00

I was talking a little to my sister this morning about our Goal weights. I am 5'5" so according to my doctor, a healthy weight for a woman of my bone structure and height is between 130-144. I originally set my goal to 150. But the honest truth is that, after a lifetime of obesity, my body may not let go of all of that weight. He suggested that we, "Wait and see what the future holds for me". That's great...but I need a realistic goal. So I settled on 175. Which would literally be half of the me from Day 1. Wow. But I really believe I can do it!

I am fully aware that the work does not end when the weight comes off. It's going to be a Healthy Life not a Healthy Diet. I have resolved from Day 1 that this is what I will do and I'm going for it!

It's fun to dream about how things will be when I get the excess weight off, but afterward I have to come back to my reality...I'm still morbidly obese. It's really hard for me, when I am feeling so much better and I'm able to do so much more than I've ever been able to do...and I look in the mirror and then it's like BAM!! I'm still fat...dang. Lol...yea I'm being a little silly I know, but hey, that's me. :-) I really don't want to be that person that loses the weight and then looks in the mirror and only sees what 'used to be' instead of the reality. THAT'S why I took before pictures...I'm a photographer...I can't see a lie in a photograph...it's the 'Honest to God' truth. So...I am excited to see the official before and after!!

Today was a really great day! I kept my diet around 1350 calories and I left 2200 calories on the Zumba floor! I'm noticing a pattern. Monday's are the day before my weigh-ins, and I seem to have really good days on Monday's. If only I could mentally make the shift to treat every day like a Monday, I would be in BUSINESS! If my weigh-in goes really well...then Tuesday is always a great day! But if my weigh-in does NOT go well...then it's a not so good day...it's crazy how I know these things...yet when it starts to go bad, I can't seem to stop it. This is the ONE THING that I KNOW I have control over. That's something I have to keep telling myself...because sometimes I get in to the mindset that I can't help it...and that's just a lie. I can. And I do. And there's no excuse for failing.

Thank you for your support :-)
<3 Honor

P. S. Here's the pic at the Y showing I'm an Iron(wo)man :-)) :-)) I hope I get to take it home after they have them up for a while. ;)

Day 70: Glad the weekend is over!

2012-02-05T17:57:00.001-08:00

Weekends are really hard for me! But for a different reason than most people. Most people are off on the weekends and have a hard time dealing with their days off and making smart decisions...not me! My problem is that I work the MOST on the weekends so I can't find hardly any time or energy to workout! By the time Sunday night rolls around, I'm exhausted, and haven't worked out in TWO days! That's not ok for me! Especially not while I'm in this challenge! I don't have the time to take it easy if I want to win! Grrr...! Lol so now it's nearly 8:00 on Sunday night and I have to go home (eating a Subway sandwich on my way), change into workout clothes and drive 30 minutes to the only gym that's open 24 hours in my area...and I'm already EXHAUSTED!! This is my life...lol...but I have already been rewarded heavily for my diligence so there's not a chance that I'm giving up now!!

I have to say...I have a jealousy problem...let me explain. When I'm in the grocery store, and I see this teeny tiny woman shopping and buying all of the stuff my body thinks it wants...yea I get jealous, because she doesn't have to struggle like I do. Or when I do go out for dinner and there are people who can have whatever they want because they don't gain weight and I can gain 5 pounds just by LOOKING at their dinner...yep, I get jealous. BUT...I have come to realize, that the struggle to get the weight off and KEEP it off, is just going to make me mentally and physically stronger, and although they might be able to eat whatever they want now...a lot of times those people really struggle with their weight later in life and have absolutely no idea how to fix it. At least I'm still fairly young and digging my heals in now...so when I am older, I can enjoy my life and live it to its fullest!!

This week has been a very hard week for me, and it will undoubtably show on the scale. I can't undo any of the decisions I've made this week, I can just choose to not repeat them!

I honestly believe that if I didn't have to work so much, I would be able to do so much better at this! But I just have to work with what I've got...

Thanks for tuning in! Have a great night :-)
<3 Honor

Day 69: Ouchie Ankle

2012-02-04T13:22:00.001-08:00

I woke up this morning with my ankle bothering me...I'm not quite sure hat is going on with it but I'm pretty sure it's not sprained or anything serious, it's jut tender...and that stinks! I'm indenting if maybe it's complaining from all the walking I did Thursday, because that was a lot more than any other day.

Today has been a good day...I'm training someone at work, so that makes my day go by faster...and I was pretty busy all day so that helps too!

I got to see my Olivia today and she looks great!! Those pounds seem to be MELTING off of that woman. :-) She has already gotten to small for some of her clothes so she brought them to me, she's so sweet! So now I have to grow in to them!

Today has been a long day so I'm going to keep it short. Good night my friends!
<3 Honor

Day 68: Looooong Day

2012-02-03T21:17:00.000-08:00

I wonder why it is that whenever you are at work and not much is going on it just seems to drag on and on and ON! That's EXACTLY how my day went today! Friday's and Saturday's are my longest shifts at work, and Friday's have been pretty slow lately so they really drag. So guess what I like to do when I'm bored?? EAT!! Ha! Yep, like I've said before I'm a snacker....so when I'm bored...I want to nibble...and it's not usually something healthy that I have in mind! BAD IDEA! So I survived without snacking...but I did NOT survive the day without being bad :( I got off at 8 and I felt like I was starving and exhausted and missing my hubby, because he worked all night last night. So instead of making a Smart decision and going home and fixing a quick dinner...I called him and said we should go eat Mexican...NOOOOOOO...a good hubby SHOULD have said, "Now babe...do you really think that's going to help you reach your goals?" Or, "I thought you wanted to win that $1000!" But that's NOT what my wonderful hubby said....oh no...he said, "Ok honey, I'll meet you there!" And he was WAY to excited about it!! LOL The last time I talked about him in my blog he picked on me about it..I guess I'll find out if he's still reading....(Love you honey)!

I have been having issues with going to sleep and staying asleep lately...I don't know if it's because of all of the new energy I use with my new lifestyle or what, but it's hard to actually fall asleep, and then I wake up throughout the night...YUCK! I need my beauty rest! I always feel like I need 9-10 hours of sleep before I feel rested even when I don't have trouble sleeping! So a few weeks ago I bought some Melatonin (It's a vitamin that promotes sleep) and I love them! Within a half hour or so I'm ready to conk out and stay that way! And the thing I love is that I don't feel groggy in the morning..woohoo! I just wish I could get to where 6-8 hours of sleep had me feeling well rested in the morning. That would be nice!

Have a good day tomorrow! My Melatonin is kicking in! :)

<3 Honor

Day 67: The D Word & My Soap Box

2012-02-02T13:17:00.001-08:00

I feel like I'm going to jinx myself by saying this, but I have to...lol. I really think this is starting to get easier! The food AND the exercise. It's amazing how different I feel. My feet are already starting to be noticeably better. And I'm not quite sure when it happened, but putting on tennis shoes is soooooo much easier!!

I have been utterly overwhelmed by the amount of messages and friend requests I've received on Facebook over the past few days! I love sharing my story and maybe even motivating someone else to start a journey of their own.

I am always so careful not to call my 'eating plan' a 'diet' because that word has always been like a curse word in my vocabulary! It's like this unattainable dream that was never within reach! But the fact of the matter is that the definition of Diet is - the act of restricting your food intake (or your intake of particular foods). Which is EXACTLY what I'm doing. And the reality of my life is that I will most likely always have to be on a 'diet'. I'm not going to lose all of this excess fat and then just go to eating anything and everything I want whenever I want. That's not reality. Reality is that I will always have to restrict my food intake and be especially careful of certain foods. My journey will be on-going as long as I live, but of course, the amount of restriction will change, as I reach a healthier weight. And the same thing goes for you too!

You know, I was watching the Biggest Loser (Season 8) last night, and they were doing this Pop Challenge quiz where they were asked all sorts of health questions. And during this segment I learned that Americans spend $147 BILLION dollars a YEAR on obesity related medical care! Are you kidding me??!!? And it was $90 billion for cancer. And I'm sure you realize that the fight for cancer is HUGE! And insanely expensive for the extremely unfortunate people who have to deal with the Chemo and Radiation and all of the medications and the research and such...and Obesity is 50% MORE than that!!! Wow!! What are we doing to ourselves? Our children? Our families? We are destroying our lives with something that, for most people, is as simple as learning to eat nutritiously with a calorie restricted diet and finding some way to get 30 minutes of Cardio activity a day in (even if it's a walk) and you WILL lose weight! Not as fast as I am, of course, but it will come off! I know that I personally have failed at this for many MANY years...but my eyes are WIDE open now and it's likely to make me crazy!! Lol

And now I will step down off of my soap box... Hehe

So I tried the new wraps that I talked about yesterday, the ones made with Extra Virgin Olive Oil...and I LOVE them! I hate the Taste of many of the healthier bread options, because I always feel like I'm eating cardboard! But these don't have that taste! Yay!! So I definitely enjoyed my lunch today :) I am now headed to the Y to attempt to finish the requirements for the Ironman Competition! I have 6.2 miles of the walk/run left and I am DONE!! I am sooooooo ready to be done too! I am super proud of myself for taking on this challenge and making it happen, but I am also so so ready to go back to my Zumba and Ypump classes and using the Elipticle. Those are my favorites. And with classes I get to see people and visit and that keeps me motivated!

Until tomorrow...
<3 Honor :-)

Day 66: Ahhh Pre-portioning

2012-02-01T09:45:00.001-08:00

I've said it before and I'm going to say it again...I love pre-portioning! I am currently hooked on turkey wraps for lunch and I can make a whole package of wraps up in half an hour and I'm good to go for the week! My wraps are pretty simple too! I have tried a few different kinds of wraps and I'm currently trying even another kind, this kind is whole wheat and made with extra virgin olive oil 100 calories per wrap. And I put a thin spread over my wrap (combination of fat free sour cream and dried ranch mix) which keeps it from being to dry and then turkey and lettuce and roll that puppy up! I cut my wraps in half and put them in sandwich bags so that when it's time to pack my lunch, I can grab and go! I like to have yogurt and baby carrots with it and sometimes when I'm feeling dangerous I'll add some sum chips or Lays Baked chips. Mmm...lol. I do the same thing for dinners a lot too. I just feel so busy with work, and working out and everything else. So cooking a little on my days off saves me from making poor decisions through my work week. Plus some stuff lasts much longer than just through the week! Like all that stir fry and chicken a cooked up a few weeks ago...I still have a lot of that in the freezer (thank goodness I have a deep freeze!)

I have been on cloud nine all day yesterday and it has bled over on to today! I've been honest about the fact that I have a bit of a weighing addiction, and it seems like the past 3 or 4 weeks, the day after I weigh I always go up 3 or 4 pounds!! How discouraging!! Well...I'm in 2dur land...so this morning I just couldn't help myself...I got on the scale....AND I'M STILL IN 2DUR LAND! Yay! That may not seem like a big deal to most people, but to me...it's MONUMENTAL!! I even had a nice dinner (including desert) last night at the China Buffet! I still didn't go over my 1500 calorie budget though. :) I just ate really lightly all day because I knew I was having dinner with my family and I wanted to be able to include a little dessert.

My hubby took a progress photo for me last night and I did a little side-by-side compared to day 1 (I'll include the pic at the bottom of my blog--not sure how big it will be on here) I was shocked at how different my face looked!! I didn't realize how pudgy it was getting! see progress!

Thanks for reading!!
<3 Honor

Day 65: Weigh-In Number Nine

2012-01-31T11:28:00.001-08:00

This morning was probably the most anticipated weigh-in since the first one. I've been off of the scale more this week, because all of the water bouncing up and down stuff makes me a little crazy. Last week I weighed 300.8, which left me barely missing a couple of my goals! To lose 50 pounds and to be under 300, which just so happen to only be a pound apart! So I get on the scale and....***drum roll please*** beep, beep, beep, beep etc. (hehe that's for you Olivia) beep, beep 299.2!! **Oh yea, it's my birthday, not really, but we're gonna party like its my birthday...** ok enough of my victory song (and dance--you just couldn't see that part, it was pretty silly looking anyways!)!! I am in 2Dur land!! Lol, it doesn't quite have the same ring as 1Dur land, but to my ears it sounded great!!

I texted Cindy, my personal trainer provided by the Y for the Fitness Challenge, and she had to call cuz she was so excited for me!! I love that woman! She's in her late 50's or 60's (I honestly don't remember), but she has the strength and determination of a 20 year old! She is absolutely precious to me, and I haven't even seen her in well over a week because she's been sick:( She may not be able to train with me more than once a week, but she is also the instructor of the Ypump class I go to, and she texts me through the week to see how things are going. She's training three of us for the Challenge and says that I'm the one she worries about the least. I LOVE THAT! I love that my determination is so visible to her! And she's like my own personal little cheerleader. :)

So, I am 1/3 of the way to 1dur Land and I'm stoked!! I know I can do it!! And the never failing support of family and friends makes the journey do much MORE to me! I spoke with a woman last night who has victoriously overcome obesity, but not in the same euphoric state that I have been able to work in. She had her own daughter hindering her progress, and I'm sure other people deal with similar issues and I am SO THANKFUL for each and every one of you who support me day in and day out! I write this blog for me. And to be accountable to me. And to help anyone who might learn anything at all from my journey... I now know of TWO FRIENDS that have decided to choose change, and I think they are wonderful, beautiful women now, I can't imagine what this journey to a lifelong transformation will do to them! Olivia and Vickie, I literally have tears in my eyes right now thinking of how my soul baring honesty in this blog has touched both of them in their own unique way and encouraged and inspired them to choose a path that leads to a happier, healthier quality of life. I sincerely wish you both tremendous success!! Olivia is well on her way already having lost more than twenty pounds!! And I know Vickie is well on her way too!! I would love to hear of anyone else who had decided to make a change! I track my daily caloric intake using www.myfitnesspal.com and I would be happy to receive a friend request from you (username is honorwarren) and if you're not already my friend on Facebook please add me! You can use my e-mail to find me at honorwarren@yahoo.com, and be sure to add a personal message telling me that you've read my blog that way I know who you are :-)

I can't believe how far this journey has already brought me in such a short amount of time!! And I can't wait to see what I learn while losing the NEXT 50 pounds!!

Thanks for coming on my journey with me :-)
<3 Honor

Day 64: Hand-to-Mouth Disease and Overeating

2012-01-30T16:05:00.001-08:00

Today has been a fast day so far...I've been at work. I love it when my work day speeds by! That just makes me a happy girl. But even though it's already after 5, I have quite a bit of things left to do on my 'To Do List' for the day. Most important of all, I have to work out! The first week of the Ironman Challenge is over and we are headed into the second week. In Week one I completed 70 of the 85 required swimming laps, 10 of the required 26.2 walking/running laps, and 54 of the 112 cycling miles. If I do as well this week, I really think I'll finish! The cycling has been hard on my tooshy, which I've already shared, but I think the walking is the hardest physically. My feet are so jacked up! And I sincerely pray that, as the weight comes off, I find relief with my feet. I love the idea of being a runner and completing 5k's or maybe even a 10k or more! But with my feet the way they are now...that will most likely never happen. The crazy thing about this Ironman thing is that I honestly feel like I'm slacking on my workouts! I know that it's really mostly because Zumba burns a TON of calories and walking and spinning don't. But I feel like I'm actually pushing my body HARDER with less results! And that just stinks! So yea, I'm ready to be done with this and get back to my way of things. :)

My eating choices are what I believe got me to 350 pounds. I don't Quite understand it because I wasn't lazy and I have NEVER been a binge eater. It's like I just naturally had a low metabolism from the get go and that just did me in. I am 100% aware that I was never a healthy eater. In the other hand, on an average day I also didn't consume 5000 calories. And I haven't been sedentary my whole life. So finding the real answer as to why I became obese in the first place, may never be a real reality for me. However, I do know that I have eaten a whole lot of garbage in my lifetime. I love pizza and burritos and almost anything sweet along with a ton of other things that are made out of junk. But I never stopped at the drive thru and had a burger on my way home to dinner, I never ate a whole large pizza by myself None of those sad stories you hear apply to me. The truth of the matter is that most likely one of the only reasons I'm overweight as an adult is because I am addicted to sweet and salty processed food. But it's not just that, I can sit and over eat on almonds or Sun chips or something that's 'healthy' that I enjoy too. It doesn't matter if it's healthy, you still can't over eat! But I want to. I'm a muncher. I like to 'snack'. It got worse after I quit smoking almost two year ago. I was used to my 'hand to mouth' being busy with a cigarette. So long after the cravings for nicotine faded away, I still had this Issue with feeling like something was missing. I still had hand-to-mouth disease!

Pre-portioned snacks and meals are key for me. Otherwise, I will over eat, long after my body signals that it's not hungry anymore. Even as I sat here writing this blog entry I was eating Almonds out of a bag, instead of taking the time out to pre count them, and I probably ate two servings! That's how bad I am! But at least it was almonds and not something else!! Haha

Thanks for keeping up with me :) The messages I get humble me. I can't believe that silly old Honor could ever inspire someone. I feel like I still have so much growth to do mentally and so much shrinking to do physically ;) but I'll get there! Day 64 is soon to be history and Day 65 is on its way!

Day 63: The Look

2012-01-29T12:49:00.001-08:00

Do you wanna know something that really bothers me? Well I'm going to tell ya! I absolutely hate when people give me the look (you know, scan me from head to toe) and then make that Face...that one that says to me that they think I'm disgusting, or how did I let myself get that way, or whatever. I hear those comments in my head, because I've heard them verbalized before. And they sting as bad as a jagged knife to me. I am fully aware that not all people think that when they look at me, but I am also aware that some people just can't help themselves. You know, I have a little bit of an issue with 'The Look' myself, whenever I see someone who can't walk in the grocery store because they are so obese that their body just can't handle it. And any time I find myself falling into that judgmental cycle I give myself a swift mental kick! How dare me?! The one thing that hurts me the most and without much thought at all, I can turn around and do EXACTLY the same thing! So I definitely can't hold it against someone else for doing the same thing. We are HUMAN. But it still hurts! And it's so crazy to me that I have accomplished so much in such a short amount of time. I mean really? 49 pounds in 8 weeks is something very few people can do. But I did it! Me! I'm not special...I didn't do any kind of miracle cure-all or follow some kind of special diet...no, I've used my own wisdom and knowledge that I have gained about weight-loss, the success of others around me, & SHEER DETERMINATION. But the fact that remains is the part that is the hardest. And the part that makes my every day life a challenge and that is the fact that I'm still Morbidly Obese. And I still hate that phrase more than ever. 49 pounds is great. A hundred will be better...and 175-200 pounds lost and I won't be complaining...but I still have a long road ahead of me. But it's a road that is becoming more and more familiar. After 63 days, I'm getting to know this new road, and although it may be far from easy, and most days My first thought might be to take a detour! But this is my journey, and it's up to me to decide how the trip will go. And I just plan to make it as smooth as possible. :) It IS possible. 49 pounds ago I believed it was possible, and at this point I think I've proved that! I just have to continue improving. And hopefully, someday, instead of looking in the mirror and wondering what I'm supposed to look like, I'll look in the mirror and see who I am.

I spend a lot of time saying that I'm working on eating healthy and exercising, but the truth is that I DO eat healthy and exercise. That's just me now. It's been more than two months and that is what my life consists of...

After this healthy living challenge I won't spend as much time in the gym. That does not mean, by any means, that I will quit working out or living my life the way I have been. That just means that I have a TON of things that I have let go in my home over the past few months that are going to HAVE to get done. Spring cleaning could be the term I use. :) but that stuff is going to wait until mid-March when hopefully, HOPEFULLY, I will report that the sacrifices were all worth it and I had won the challenge. That's the plan. We shall see if that is the outcome. But the fact of it all is that I want to be able to say that even if I don't win the challenge, I gave 100% towards doing my best! And that's really all that matters.

Thanks for tuning in today! Have a great Sunday and an even better week this week!
<3 Honor

Day 62: More Salt Please!

2012-01-28T17:29:00.001-08:00

I realized that yesterday I said that I started with eating under 1500 calories and working out as often as I could, but I never followed up with the changes I've made along the way. In the beginning, I wasn't really concerned at all about what I ate. I was more concerned with eating under 1500 calories a day and not eating out anywhere except for Subway. I have a big problem with eating out. And I like to eat stuff that is terrible for you. So I stayed away for the first few weeks completely and now I try to only eat out once a week.

So that philosophy worked really well for me for the first few weeks. And then my weightloss slowed down DRAMATICALLY. So I had made a deal with myself, that I would continue doing what worked, until it didn't...and then I'd make the necessary changes. I slowly started eating healthier foods and at this point I'm having to eat pretty stinking healthy most of the time to see continued results. And I MUST see results. It is imperative to my success. Even if it's only a part of a pound. I know that your body fluctuates and that's ok, but if a few days go by with nothing...then I go into freak out mode until I see a difference. I want you to know, that on occasion, I still eat garbage. (That's what I call processed unhealthy food) but I have to be EXTREMELY careful! Because that stuff that I used to eat daily without really much thought at all...those foods taste even BETTER now that I rarely eat them. My two things that I give in on occasionally are Cooler Ranch Doritos, and Three Musketeers Bars. A big bag of the Doritos is 300 cal and it's somewhere around that for the candy bar too. So I can work it in to my calories and not kill my calorie intake for the day.

Something that is really hurting me right now is Sodium. I've had to really cut back because my body is using it to retain water and it has been UGLY the past few weeks! But hopefully I've survived that for now. And let me tell ya...I love salt! I love foods that are salty and I like to add to much salt to things. I actually bought some 1/2 salt that has half the sodium (hence the name) to help me cut back, but I think I use twice as much of that stuff! But I am doing a really good job at cutting back in the sodium most of the time. Today...not so much!

Have a good night!!
<3 Honor

Day 61: Honor Speechless...oh yea!

2012-01-27T09:19:00.001-08:00

I was speechless this morning...which is very VERY seldom. When I wake up in the mornings, out of habit, I always check my phone. It's my link to the world, and I'm nosey. So I wanted to see what was going on. When I pulled up my Facebook notifications there it is. Sean Anderson (my main source of inspiration) tagged you in a post. What? He talked about me? Ooooh what did he say!! So, with excitement I clicked the link. He was congratulating me on making it to my 60 day mark!! Wow. He is very likely the busiest person I know, and he not only noticed that it was my 60th day, but he took time to congratulate me AND post a link to MY blog on his wall!! Yea...I'm start struck. :) he's an AMAZING author with an awesome story and he is keeping up with my journey! TALK ABOUT PRESSURE!! Haha!! I'm just kidding...but I do love it! It's just tht much more motivation that I can pull from on a down day or when that stupid scale and I are in a fight.

So, I gladly welcome my new readers. I hope you'll take some time to skim through my journey up to this point. I am, by no means, as phenomenal a writer as Sean. But I put my heart and soul out here for my blog to primarily keep myself accountable, but also to help anyone who can identify with my journey or learn anything from it.

As some of you know, I'm in a fitness challenge at my local YMCA that still has six and a half weeks left. I'm trying very hard to WIN! That's the plan. I started out with just eating under 1500 calories a day and working out as much as I thought I could handle and still be able to make it through my day. I work full-time as a photographer and then make cakes and do photography on the side. So I'm a pretty busy Chica. I Kind of feel like I'm proving that even if you do have a very busy lifestyle, you can still make time to take care of yourself along with the rest of your responsibilities. It is, by far, not easy. And I actually take quite a bit of grief from some of my friends and family from not having time to go visit with them or hang out. But, the truth is, this is probably the most important thing in my life right now. And if I don't get my obesity under control now...well things could get really stinkin ugly. I've been extremely blessed so far, to have not had to deal with a lot of obesity related health concerns. So I am not trying to take that for granted any more!

The Ironman Challenge may kill me, or at least my poor sore toosh from all the spinning. But I know if I complete this, I will FEEL like an Ironman. :) so far, today is the 5th day f the Ironman Challenge and in that length of time I have walked/jogged 10 out of the 26.3 required, biked 38 out of the 112 required, and swam 60 laps out of the 85 required! And I have 9 days left. The bike/spinning is the hardest because I am sooooo not used to those tiny seats!! And it's hurting me pretty bad! But I'm fully confident in the rest of it. The walking/jogging is a challenge because of the Plantar Faciitis I have in both feet, but it has actually not been as bad as I thought it would be!!

Thanks for reading and thanks for your support!!
<3 Honor

Day 60: Two months going on Forever!

2012-01-26T18:51:00.001-08:00

Well...two months of healthy living are in the bag!! I would say that I can't believe it, but I can! I've worked really hard and for the most part I've busted some tail to get here. It's so nice to hear people tell me they are proud of me, but for once in my life I'm actually proud of myself!! I wonder what the NEXT sixty days will bring...it could Definitely get interesting!

So today is the fourth out of fourteen days of the ironman challenge. My tooshy is so feeling it!! I thought I was NEVER going to get anywhere with that darn bike tonight! But somehow, I got in 14 miles! Whew!! And I am EXHAUSTED for it too!! As a matter of a fact, I have been home at least twenty minutes and am in my car and can't muster up the energy to go in!! Plus, my feet are really killing me. I think I could go in and seriously go straight to bed!! That's not good! I need my dinner!

Today was a pretty good day. It honestly went by so fast I can't believe it has been a whole day already! I worked a short shift today, and then I visited with miss Ariel, while I ate lunch, and then I came to the gym. Tomorrow will be a MUCH longer day! I have to work ten hours AND find the time to go to the gym!
Good night all. I'm exhausted and I just have to get my booty in the house!!

<3 Honor

Day 59: Slow Day

2012-01-25T21:11:00.001-08:00

Whew today has been a LAZY day! I'm pretty sure I haven't done anything constructive today besides filing my taxes! but I have busted my tooshy for the past few days and I am extremely sore! So it's back to the grind stone tomorrow.

I forgot to share my mom's results yesterday. She lost another 3 pounds! I'm so proud if her!

Sorry so short tonight, but I've still got more to do tonight before bed!
<3 Honor

Day 58: Weigh-in Number Eight

2012-01-24T08:44:00.001-08:00

So today was the day I would get on that scale and see if my body finally let go of all of that water she's been holding on to. I really felt like I should be down at least a little because I have been running to the bathroom every thirty minutes for the past two days! So I get on the scale and it's the moment of truth....I looked down and thought I saw 306.8 which is exactly what I weighed two weeks ago...but then I look a little closer...no...that 6 is a 0!! I weigh 300.8 pounds!!! That, my friends, is a 6 pound loss this week for a total of 49.2 pounds!! I'm only 0.8 from hitting the 50 pounds lost mark and only 1.8 from getting below 300!!!!! And I'm elated!! It makes me want to work even harder this week to reach my goals!! But I worked HARD last week! And I know it will be hard to lose much this week, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try!

The first day of the Ironman competition went quite well, in my opinion. I did 2 miles walking, 12 miles on the bike, and 25 laps in the pool. I'm sore, but I'm satisfied with that. I don't know how much I'm going to get done today because I'm getting a late start and may have to go to Cape later, but I'm going to make some progress!! I'm really feeling like I might be able to DO this!

I just can't WAIT to see this weight melt off! It will definitely be worth it!! I know that the work doesn't stop when you reach your goal, but it changes. I'm just so excited to see what the future brings. I know I will have ups and downs. And although, I wish I could skip the downs, they are part of what gets me to where I'm going. And with the bad stuff I will be stronger are more determined to KEEP the weight off!

Thanks for Reading :-)
<3 Honor

Day 57: My journey TO obesity...

2012-01-23T13:41:00.001-08:00

I've been thinking about how I got overweight, and of course it didn't happen over night. I was born with 'child-bearing' hips so my posterior has been a downfall for most of my life. I have a memory of being in Walmart with my mom, trying to pick out a new outfit for school and we went to the little girls section (because I was a little girl) to get me a dress. Yea, my mom made us wear dresses and skirts to school when we were younger. So anyways, we go to the section that we always did to pick out something and mom finds a dress she really likes so we grab a large and go to the dressing room. It doesn't fit. So she leaves me there and goes to grab the extra large. Still no luck. So with pain in her voice, she says, "I guess we're going to have to shop for you in the women's section". All I could remember thinking was, "I'm not a woman, why don't they make girls clothes in my size?" I knew I was 'chunky' but was it that big of a deal? I didn't really start putting on the weight until 3rd grade. And by 5th grade I was the biggest kid in class. I don't really remember a lot of bullying at all, until 5th grade. In fact, I only remember one and he was in 3rd grade and I had a crush on him, so it broke my heart that he started being mean to me!

In 5th grade we had moved to a new school district and I had made friends with a neighbor who just so happened to be in my class and was one of the popular kids. I wasn't popular though. But because of her, most of the time things were just fine. But the boys were evil. And they didn't care who your friends were. So one boy made up this nickname that just broke my heart. I HATED IT. And they taunted me for the rest of 5th grade and half of 6th grade, until my mom met my step-dad and they got married over Christmas break. So we moved to Bloomfield. A nice fresh start.

I don't know what went wrong when I got to Bloomfield, but it was like those kids already knew I wasn't cool. I made a few friends and things were ok most of the time. But, of course, there were a few boys that had to pick on me. I think I let a few kids make me think that everyone was against me so I didn't even try. I thought I was sooo much bigger than all the other kids and that's why try didn't like me. But looking back at pictures, it was true that I was bigger, but I wasn't THAT much bigger. It wasn't really until high school that I actually became obese. And when I graduated I was around 210 pounds. That just doesn't seem like its to bad looking at it from over 300 pounds! I really wish, at that point, someone would have given me a dose of reality, or a look at my future...SOMETHING to keep me from gaining ANOTHERh 140 pounds! It is just crazy for me to remember being in high school and feeling how I actually look now. Bigger than anyone else in school. I wasn't. But I felt like I was. I was overweight, but not 300 pounds. Now I am...a little more than that actually...and is a decade later.

I am so glad that I made the decision to get this under control now, instead of waiting until I had a pile of health problems. It could be a whole lot worse. So at least I am doing it!

I have a lot of work to do for the Ironman competition which starts today. I really, really want to finish it in the two weeks. So I'm going to give it 100% and see what happens!!

Thanks for being there!
<3 Honor

Day 56:

2012-01-22T19:01:00.001-08:00

Being sick + working=BOO! It is so hard for me to find the energy to work out when I feel miserable! Even working 9 hours today was difficult and now I'm at the gym with my mom trying to squeeze out every bit of energy I can find to get in a workout. And my favorite machine at this gym is BROKEN! Argh!! The stupid scale is still being evil, ok it's actually by body that's being evil, but anyways...so with that added to being sick, this just hasn't been an easy day. But I'm ok! Because I'm still doing my part in this journey, and I know that my unwavering faith in God and my body is going to pay off. It has to! I just really wish my body wouldn't fight back so HARD!

Through this journey I have really found that my food addiction issues are much worse than I initially thought. I used to say things like, "I don't eat a lot or binge eat, so I don't understand why I'm fat" or "Obesity runs in my family, so I'm just screwed" well that's NOT true!! I'm a compulsive eater with INTENSIVE craving issues! I also haves leaned toward other eating disorders my whole life...somehow staying in that gray area so no one really every noticed. I watch the Biggest Loser a Lot and they are always talking about why they got fat or what caused them to eat...blah, blah, blah. That's the way I've always thought of it. Why make an issue of something that's not anything besides eating to much of the wrong stuff? Well there's ALWAYS more to the story...ok, maybe not always, but almost always. I don't know for sure what all my problem with food is, other than just good old comfort. But I know there's 'more to the story'. I've felt with stuff in my lifetime. Not worse than anyone else, because no ones life is perfect, and I think most of my issues come from within, and the fact that I have a seriously addictive personally paired with O. C. D. That just can't be a good combination! But I will get it all figured out...and when I do, I'll be better for it.

Sleep tight!
<3 Honor

Day 55:Veggie-tells

2012-01-21T16:54:00.001-08:00

I think I may throw my scale away! Ok maybe not that drastic, but as soon as I start thinking I'm making a little lead way and the scale starts going down like it should be, it shoots straight up again. Three pounds! And yesterday I ate 1439 calories worth of healthy food and got in 25 minutes of Cardio after working for 10 hours...so needless to say, that's obviously some sort of strange mess going on inside of my body and it's making me CRAZY!! I would not be as miffed about this if it weren't for the fact that I'm in the competition and these kind of set backs are going to be what causes me to lose. I WAS IN THE LEAD! So that's what has me so upset about it. I KNOW I'M DOING THE RIGHT THING! And I know that the number WILL drop. I just don't have time to wait for my body to agree with me! And I'm still super sore or I would probably be doing jumping jacks at work! Haha.

Ok, I'm done throwing my little fit. It's just irritating. For the first time in my life I'm doing Exactly what it takes to get the weight off and my body is being stupid.

On another note, I have been working really hard with cooking stuff up ahead of time, and pre-packaging things and such and I just keep coming up with new ideas of things I can pre-cook and package away. The thing about it is that it really DOES save time. Now I just need to work on finding some new things that I like so I can add some more variety to my food. I've been doing good on fruits. Vegetables and me, we have a history of issues. I like Broccoli, Carrots, and canned green beans. The only way I can get some variety in the vegetable department is with a salad (but I cannot stand light or fat free ranch) or Stir-Fry. So the plan is to try some veggies that are super good for you that I haven't tried in a while. So...I bought creamed spinach! I'm terrified! Lol. But, it was only a dollar, so if it's gross I'm not going to break the bank. I did find out last year that I like fresh spinach on my sandwich and I love 'florentine' things like pasta Florentine Alfredo that's yummy! So maybe I will like it! I even like cooked spinach on pizza! So we will see. I just can't do peas, and turnip greens, and cabbage (Bleh!!) I wish I could force myself to eat that stuff, but my gag reflex is in really good tune with my brain, so if my taste buds don't like it....I just can't eat it.

I'm also on the lookout for some new main course options. Right now I mostly eat Stir-Fry with chicken, Doc's Chili, Chicken and Rice, or Taco Salad. That's my four dinners. And although I still enjoy eating those, I'm scared I'll get burnt out. I do occasionally make me some healthy mini pizza's on pita bread or a few other things but I always go back to those four meals for two reasons...I like them and they are meals I can pre-make and pre-portion and then warm up and eat later in the week. So I am on the search for some alternative meals that I can do the pre-cooking thing with. It's so important to me because with my work schedule, my workout schedule, and making cakes, I just don't have the time or the energy to spend in the kitchen every night!

Wow, I had a lot to say today! :-) Enjoy your weekend! I'll be at work!
<3 Honor

Day 54: Little Devil On My Shoulder

2012-01-20T15:05:00.001-08:00

Because of my little disagreement with the scale last week, I've really buckled down on my eating. Mostly trying make as healthy of decisions as possible and trying to keep my sodium intake down too. What I have learned...is that you an eat a TON of healthy food for 1500 calories! I am seriously stuffed all day long! Actually I've been having issues with eating enough to get my calories in. And I have to be VERY careful with that because I have a sneaky little brain! Whenever I look and see that I have a lot of extra calories left my brain starts going, "oh, we can have that 3 Musketeers bar today, we have plenty of calories" or "let's go ahead and get a buzzard at DQ!" NOOOOOOOOOO! Yea...that's not my brain! That's the devil on my shoulder trying to ruin this for me! So, I flick him off of my shoulder and go home to eat something healthy. That's just the way I roll these days! And the scale is starting to agree with me again! I'm really excited about that!

After my four hour workout the day before yesterday I woke up pretty sore yesterday. So when I went to my regular Ypump and Zumba last night, I really thought that I might be able to work out some of the soreness and start feeling a little better. NOPE! I'm still sore as crazy! I think that's the part that stinks the most about pushing yourself. Because, on one hand, I love the soreness! I know that it means I'm doing something right and my muscles are growing from it! But on the other hand, I don't like pain! Most people don't. And it makes working out quite difficult when you already hurt!

I'm having to overcome quite a few aches and pains during this process. My right knee started bothering me a few months before I started this journey, and then of course I've had the plantar Faciitis in my right foot. Now I have it in my left foot, and am having some issues with the right side of my hip. I hate that...because all of those aches and pains make it easier to give in to my whining body and 'skip' a workout or not do it with as much intensity, and that's just not going to work for me!! I HAVE to get this weight off! And even though I would love to be able to lose a pound every day, my body just isn't about to let me do that! So I'll keep on chugging along and doing my best, and that's something I can be proud of!

Thanks for Reading!!
<3 Honor

Day 53:Beware of Sabotage!

2012-01-19T18:09:00.001-08:00

Sabotage: a deliberate act of destruction or disruption. Ok, maybe it's not that serious, but close in my eyes!! And the culprit is my husband! What he does, I'm sure is not deliberate...but he is DEFINITELY causing disruption! I am weak. I have an addiction that is insanely hard to overcome...and he goes and puts a pizza in the oven! What?!?! Pizza! That tomatoey, cheesy, meaty goodness that I have been craving! I satiate that craving a little by having alternatives, like a little Lean Cuisine Pizza or something like that. But it's not the same. And I know it's not the same. So that delicious aroma of cooking, greasy heaven is TORTURE!! The LEAST he could do is, when I ask for a bitty tiny piece, tell me NO!! But did he...nope. He gave me a piece. (this all happened a few days ago...I just thought I would share)

I told you that I burned 3300 calories yesterday...I got on the scale and BAM I lost a pound! Woot, woot. Haha I'm so excited! But I must say...even if I didn't work, of it takes THAT much work to lose a pound a day it wouldn't be happening! I was so sore this morning I could barely walk! So I took me some ibruprofen, and that definitely helped ease the soreness a bit.

I have these two long mirrors in my bedroom and I decided to take one and turn it in to my goal mirror. So I wrote down a whole bunch of goals and plan to mark off each and every one!

Have a good night!
<3 Honor

Day 52: Wowzers!!!

2012-01-18T19:13:00.001-08:00

Today has been a GOOD day:-) I survived 4 hours at the gym! And burnt nearly a pound!! A pound is 3500 calories for those of you that aren't Biggest Loser buffs :) And I burnt 3300!! I almost felt tempted to hop on the elipticle until I burnt the last 200, but I just couldn't do it... I am super proud of myself though!!

The beginning of my workout, Cindy, my trainer, had us walking laps. I'm always terrified of walking because if my plantar fasciitis. But I did it. Two laps at a moderate pace, two laps speed walking, and two laps jogging. Yep I said it. Jogging. ME....jogging!!!! And I did that 6 lap set twice!! And then we walked 5 or 6 more laps... Then she got me on the Arc Trainer for 30 minutes, and then I did two full hours of Zumba. That last 30 minutes I thought I would really be sick. But I pushed through and survived it!!

I'm ending my night with a nice meal at Subway, because I had to many calories left so I'm having me some yummy Sun chips with a turkey sub and I actually got cheese this time (which I NEVER do, because I can swear that you can't taste it with everything else) and even though I've eaten two 200 calorie bags of mixed nuts an eaten really well all day...I still ended up just under 1500 calories! Wow. So now that I'm stuffed...I'm going grocery shopping. Haha...it's the best way to do it!!

Thanks for your support and encouragement!!
<3 Honor

Day 51: Weigh-in Number 7

2012-01-17T18:04:00.001-08:00

Well, I got the exact result I expected this morning. I hadn't gotten rid of all of the water weight yet. I could tell...my ankles are still tender and my body just aches a bit. So weight-loss for the week is a big fat Zero. But that's ok. I know that I worked out and stayed within my calorie budget and that's what matters. I did not really gain weight. I just have water on me that I'm going to send to the devil! Haha.

I do however have some other news to report. Wonderful news! I mentioned last week that my mom had joined a gym and added me into her membership. I've gone with her twice and plan to go with her twice a week. So she started going a week ago and went three times this past week. We've been talking a lot about Calories and how maybe she was consuming some hidden calories (like oil and butter that she didn't think of) that were keeping her were she is. She has lost some weight already, but still has a ways to go.

Well...she weighed this morning...and lost 3 pounds this week! Yay mom!!! I'm so proud of her. She has struggled with diet and exercise for as long as I can remember and I'm super excited about her staying in track and trying to make a difference.

So now I'm super tired and still have to go work out with her as promised! I burned 1600 calories at the gym today so let's see where we end up!

Thanks for reading
<3 Honor

Day 50: Water water water BOO!

2012-01-16T13:15:00.001-08:00

The scale was still acting stupid this morning so I took a water pill. I'm thinking maybe that was what was up with my ankles the other day too! I just can't believe it's so MUCH. I know the math, so I know that I'm not REALLY gaining weight because my Basil Metabolic Rate is a little over 2000. That's how many calories I would burn of I just laid in bed all day. So as long as I stay under 2000 there is no way I could actually gain. Plus you factor in that I work 8-9 hours a day as well as doing various other things around the house and workout no less than 5 times per week...I should be losing 3-5 pounds a week. But because I have PCOS, I don't lose at the rate I should. But I should still be Losing! So, I'm going to chalk it up to water weight and quit stressing. The problem with that is that I am uncomfortable and tired with the excess water On my body and that makes me want to be lazy! I went to workout with my mom last night, and I just couldn't get my body to cooperate! I felt drained and exhausted! I hate that feeling! I'm feeling a little better today and am hoping to get a very good burn in at the gym tonight.

I have been getting cake orders out the wazoo the past week or so! In Feb and March I already have 5 cake orders! With me having a full time job, plus putting working out at the top of my priorities AND doing cakes...I am going to be BUSY! I absolutely cannot fathom how parents take care of everything and still find time to spend with their kids! I'm pretty sure that if I ever have a kiddo I am going to have to get rid of all of my animals or they will starve!

I cannot believe it is Day 50 already! The fitness challenge is already almost half way over! And in a little over a week I will be starting the Ironman challenge at the gym. I don't know if I've blogged about it yet, but it will be two weeks long and I will be trying to complete an enormous task. The way I broke it down was evenly divided into the 14 days I would have to walk 2 miles a day, cycle 8.5 miles a day, and do 8 laps in the pool. I think that's right. I'm not doing it to try to win. I'm doing in to try to complete it! I think I can! If not I sure can say I tried! I'm really pretty excited about it and can't wait to get started!

<3 Honor

Day 49: FRUSTRATION!!

2012-01-15T12:58:00.001-08:00

I have been completely honest about the fact that I am an every day weigher...I probably always would even when I'm wasn't 'dieting' if the scale ever said something nice to me. I used to get on after avoiding for a few months and just hope I had lost weight for some unknown reason. It never happened. But I always hoped. Ever since Wednesday of last week I have not seen ANYTHING I want from that darn scale. I didn't weigh one morning and then the next day it said I had GAINED 2 pounds...what? That's not possible! I didn't cheat! So I get on every morning and it says the SAME thing! So yea...now I'm ticked! A plateau is when your weight loss stops...not goes up!

I do, however, have a plan. My sister read somewhere that when you are having issues you can have a really high calorie day (like 2500 cals) followed by a really low one (like 1000 cals) so that's what I'm doing. I did probably 2400-2500 yesterday, an as long as I don't screw up today, I will be right at 1000. Whew...this is stressing me out!

I NEED to keep seeing smaller numbers on that scale...I just can't handle it not moving or going up! I'm in a fragile state! Lol that just sounded dumb, but it really is kindof true! The past few weeks have been getting increasingly difficult for me...I don't like 2 pounds a week. I want 5-7, and I don't have enough time (or energy) to workout as much as it would take to reach that...so I keep trudging along...

I promise I'm ok...I just really have to figure this out!

Tonight after work I get to go workout with my momma, so that will be fun. ! I like getting to share this with her and encourage her. After all, most of my bad habits were taught to me by her...and she really honestly just doesn't know how to do better. That is, besides what she has learned from Dr. Oz.! If he says it, she Believes it! But she doesn't really recognize the severity of her food addiction. So I want to help her. :) helping other people helps me! So it's a win/win!

Have an awesome day friends!
<3 Honor

Day 48: BA-Da-Bing!

2012-01-14T21:56:00.001-08:00

For those of you that have been reading for a while you might remember a really weird goal that I have. Which is to lose enough inches round my waist so that I can measure them with one measuring tape.

I'm almost there!! It's really hard for me to stretch out a measuring tape and realize that I am literally that big around! But slowly...like a turtle, I'm getting there!

Last week when I weighed in I was about a half of an inch away from having that measuring tape touch!! I'm so excited about it! I fully expect to have this goal in the bag really soon! Making little goals like that may seem silly to some people, but for me having a bunch of small goals keep me going! So I have two goals that I'm getting close to: dropping that three off the front of my number, and getting it down to one measuring tape...I'm READY! I can't wait to get started in my next goals!

My next set of goals are getting under 275 and to lose a foot. I'm sure that last one doesn't make any sense, but in Honor World it does!! I want to lose 12 inches. That's a combined total of the different areas I measure: neck, bust, waist, & hips. The inches come off even slower that the weight, but it's really nice when the scale isn't doing much for ya and you measure yourself and then BA-Da-BING! You lost some inches!!

Good night!
<3 Honor

Day 47: My new motto

2012-01-13T15:30:00.001-08:00

My new motto is: Cook when your in the mood so ya don't have to when your NOT in the mood. I love it! I decided a few days ago that I needed pre-cook some different foods that I like and pre-portion them into servings and freeze them. So that way when I come home from a long tiring day and I'm ready to grab some take out on the way or eat something that isn't good for me, I'll have these meals all done up and ready to be consumed!

I made a pot of my healthy chili (only 162 calories per serving), some Taco meat (for taco salads), and four batches of Stir-Fry. I love me some stir-fry! I buy the Bird's Eye Oriental kind (in the frozen section at Wal-Mart) and I LOOOOOVE it. It has all kinds of vegetables on it that I would never eat alone, but when it's all mixed in together and with the sauce it's sooo tasty! And only 50 calories a cup!! You just can't beat that! So I have it with a serving of boneless skinless chicken tenderloin diced up and a 1/2 cup of brown rice. Mmmm-nom-nom...yea I'm so having that for dinner again!

Today was a pretty good day again... Work was not busy as far as shooting, but I got the pleasure of taking some pics of a musician (one of my associate's husband) for his album cover and had a good visit and got to listen to some live music for awhile! So that was a really neat few hours of my day!

Today is a no workout day and I hate that! But ten hours of work after being off for my vacation is just all I can do today. I could go in and go to sleep right now. Literally. And I've only been up for a little over 12 hours!! I am very fortunate to not have sleep apnea or anything like that. In fact, I would be very happy with 10 hours of sleep a night. I'm really hoping that as I get more and more fit that I will be able to sleep for 7 or 8 hours and not feel like I'm getting jipped! That would be so great!!

Thanks for reading! You are amazing!! Remember, Every day when you wake up you have 100% control over how your day is going to go despite the circumstances! Make tomorrow a GREAT day, and I'll join you! People tend to let one 15 minute encounter with a cranky or inconsiderate person ruin their day. Why? Let it roll off and move on with your Great day and don't let them spoil it! God is amazing! You are amazing! And I'M getting healthy and fit!-with both God's help AND yours. :-) So thanks!
<3 Honor

Day 46: My Ah-HA! moment :)

2012-01-12T18:58:00.000-08:00

On my way in to work today I had an "Ah-HA!" moment. Time for confessions...I put on my make-up on my way to work almost every day. There....I said it. Don't be mad at me ;) I'm actually quite good at it. I've done it for so long that I barely look away from the road while putting it on. Honestly I'm sure I look away from the road more when I have a companion in the car than I do while applying my make-up. But anyways...my Ah-HA moment happened today while applying my make-up because while I was on vacation I only wore make-up two or three times (and it was two and a half weeks) and I put it on in the house. So I haven't looked at myself in the rear-view mirror in that length of time. So I pull my mirror down to put on my make-up and this morning and there it was...Ah-HA!! My face really IS starting to slim up! Lol! People have been telling me that for a few weeks now, and it's not that I didn't believe...I jut couldn't see it...and I SAW today. It was a really nice vanity boost for the day!

The entire duration of my vacation I struggled to drink the amount of water that I know my body needs for weight-loss. I'm not sure why I had the trouble, but I sure did! Before my vacation I was averaging 10-12 8oz cups a day! Which is still a little less than my body needs for the weight that I'm at. The way you're supposed to figure how much water you should consume in a day is to take your total weight (306 for me) and divide it in half (306/3=153) and that's how many ounces of water you should drink per day. The easy way to figure how many cups that is, is to take that number (153), and divide by 8oz. (153/8=19.125) so my body should be getting 19-8oz glasses of water a day!! I just can't drink that much! So I strive for 12, and usually do ok with that. However, on my vacation I was lucky to reach 6-8 per day!! It was so hard! So now that I'm back to work I've already had 10 and I still have some time to do even better! So I just thought it was crazy that I struggled so badly at home, but found it easy at work. Weird!

I went to the gym after work and when I was changing in to my workout clothes I discovered something that really made me sad. For the past three or four years I have been dealing with fluid retention in my ankles that has worsened over time and is quite painful. But since day one of this journey I've had absolutely no swelling. But when I changed clothes I noticed both of my ankles were swollen really badly. Well crap. There goes my streak! I can't figure out why it happened either...no extra sodium, no prolonged standing...I worked on a cake last week for nearly 6 hours straight of standing and no swelling, so the idea of it possibly being because I returned to work doesn't make since because I wasn't on my feet all day. I don't know, but I DO know that I don't like it!

Here it is, almost 9:00, and I'm just now getting home to have dinner! I can't help it though...I get off at 7 and I just went and did 35 minutes on the Elipticle tonight. ThatH's it. And now I'm having dinner late. I just can't think of any other way I can adjust my schedule so that it works out differently. But I'm defIinitely hungry so good night!

<3 Honor

Day 45: Mixed feelings

2012-01-11T17:43:00.001-08:00

Okay, so I go back to work tomorrow and I can't decide how I feel about it. Part of me is really excited to go back to work because I do love my job most of the time. But, I've always really wanted to be a stay at home wife. To be able to do photography as a side job, and make cakes as a side job. But, we just aren't financially stable enough for me to take such a big risk at this time. I'm also apprehensive about changing my workout schedule. Over the past 2 1/2 weeks I've been able to pretty much go to the gym as often as I want to. I don't have to get up early, and I don't have to stay late after work and have a late dinner. I guess that's the part that I'm sad about the most. The way my regional director has the managers working hours, I'm going to be working all whole lot more than I was before Christmas. And also, since I lost my Arial, she was full-time and now I don't have a full-timer to work around. Which means I'm going to be expected to work more hours. I say boo on that! I just gotten very comfortable with the way the studio has been going for the past few years and change is not good for on Honor!

I had another great night at the gym tonight! I did an hour of strength training, and then 90 minutes of Zumba! which had me leaving almost 2200 calories at the gym! Woohoo!! I absolutely love the fact that I am able to push myself hard enough to do 2 1/2 hours of constant working out in one visit to the gym. That, in its self, proves to me how far I have come in the past 45 days! I love it!

Thanks for reading my friends! I love you all!
<3 Honor

Day 44: Weigh-In Number Six!

2012-01-10T11:04:00.001-08:00

Today marks six weeks that I have been on this journey. I feel stronger than ever! It has been far from easy, but I've survived it! I could put the six weeks under a microscope and tell you probably a hundred different times I could have made a smarter or healthier decision. I have been far from perfect! I've missed some workouts, I've eaten things that I knew dang good and well I shouldn't be eating, but one thing has been different that I always screwed up previously. I haven't given up! In previous attempts at weight-loss, if I would 'cheat' and have a candy bar or a small piece of cake I would convince myself that I had screwed up my diet that day so I might as well go ahead and grab some fast food for dinner and hey while we're at lets get a blizzard too! I'll try again tomorrow....and then tomorrow never came...I would wake up the next morning and just completely abandon the plan. So THAT'S what has been different this time.

One night, maybe a week ago, I was sitting in my chair watching The Biggest Loser (you'll see the irony in that in a sec), and I glance at the end table and spot a little Rubbermaid tub that my mom had given my husband at Christmas...inside that tub was about 15 pieces of peanut butter fudge (my weakness) and I was home alone (BAD idea)...so I picked up the container with the idea to 'just sniff it' HA! Nope...I sat there and ate THREE pieces (450 calories), stopping between each piece and putting the container back. I finally regained control of myself...had a little cry...and went to bed. I slept like crap that night and was sick to my stomach all night long. But instead of waking up the next morning and giving up or feeling guilty I went and did an extra 30 minutes on the elipticle (usually about 500 calories burned) and felt better about my screw up. And I didn't log either one in MFP because I was being silly and didn't want anyone to say something to me about it so in my mind I 'fixed' it by burning as many calories as I had eaten.

As you can obviously see, I'm not perfect. I'm not going to be, because I'm HUMAN! And one of the big side-goals I have on this journey is to gain some self-discipline, of which I have Zero. That's actually what I feel is making this journey so difficult for me. The phrase "fake it till you make it" has a whole new meaning for me!! Because I'm 'faking' self-discipline until I get me some! And little instances like the one I just explained are the prime example of my lack there of!

So today is my sixth weigh-in for the challenge and 7 days ago I weighed 308.4, today I weighed exactly 306.4
Which is another two pounds and a total loss of 43.6 (I say 44) :) do this means that I am 7.4 pounds away from beating the 300's once and for all!! And I plan to be telling you that I've done that on my week 8 weigh-in. I have lost 5 inches from my hips, which is exciting to me, and 2 inches from my waist! Yay!! I can't wait to see what the next 6 weeks brings me!!

Thank you so much for following my journey and for encouraging me! Even if you don't comment or message me in Facebook I know you are reading, because approximately 30-40 people a day read my blog. :) (I love that I can see how many people read!) so thank you for just being there!!
<3 Honor

Day 43: Time flys when your having fun!

2012-01-09T11:00:00.001-08:00

I can't believe I've been on vacation for two weeks! I go back to work on Thursday and I honestly haven't gotten a quarter of the things done that I wanted to! I guess it really almost always goes that way though. It doesn't help that I spent the whole first week sick and then the root canal last week took out two days. Boo! I really wish we had the finances from Jamie's job for me to be able to stay at home and do cakes and photography in the side, but we just don't.

Today I went back to the Dentist to have my teeth cleaned. It was a big deal to me because I haven't had them cleaned since I quit smoking and that was 21 months ago! Actually I'm pretty sure it was over a year Prior to quitting when I had them cleaned last! So I'd say I was LONG overdue! After getting my teeth cleaned, I went and did 30 minutes on the elipticle so I feel like a have a head start on my workout today. :-) I'm going to Zumba later with my sis, and since I was only able to go once last week, I'm really excited about going! The class I went to last week had over 50 ppl in a 35 max. Capacity room and I heard that the next day they had so many people there that there were people doing Zumba in the hallway! I like Zumba but I AM NOT doing it in a hallway! Lol!

Today has been another really good day so far, but because of the root canal on Wednesday I just don't think I'm going to see the number on the scale that I want to tomorrow. :-( as long as its a loss I'm not going to get frustrated...but I would REALLY love to see some 3 or 4 pound weeks instead of 2 or maybe even only 1 this week!

I tried out the gazelle last night and it was freaking me out! I've never used one before and it was definitely cracking me up. It was kindof like my left leg didn't want to do it, but my right one did! So weird! But I did 10 minutes and burned 100 calories! Not as many as the elipticle or the arc trainer but more than the stationary bike, I believe. I'm just excited to have a form of Cardio sitting in my living room! It's a constant reminder of my goals and I like it!

I've included a picture in my blog today...I'm blogging from my phone so I don't know where the picture is going to show up, but it is obviously a chair. But THIS chair, and those like it, have been my mortal enemy for my entire adult life. I have NEVER fit into those things. And I HATE it. Mostly because everybody has them...and most of the time it's the only style of lawn chair people have...so what do I do? Sit on a porch or just stand...and being fat...I'm not a fan of standing for long periods of time! I can't WAIT for the day that I post a picture of me SITTING in one of those chairs! That will be the day! And I am Soooo ready!

Have a good one my friends!
<3 Honor

Day 42: Great Day today!

2012-01-08T14:36:00.001-08:00

Today is one of the good days! People ask me all the time, if I'm starting to feel better or more energetic and I always say something like, "Yea, a little" but the truth is, as far as my body goes, I haven't really felt much different. But over the past week or do I have really started noticing a change! Part of it is just due to the fact that I feel better about myself! People are starting to say they can actually SEE a difference, which is Crazy To me! My instant thought when people tell me they can 'tell I'm losing weight' is pshh your just trying to be nice... But since Day 36, when I put on those jeans, I'm really starting to believe what I hear! And THAT feels great! So mostly me 'feeling' better is a brain switch. But today I really FEEL better. Lol. I know that just sounds dumb, but it's my reality!

I got to go to the gym with my sister today and I've really missed that! Last year, when I lost the 36 pounds, the reason why I even got in gear was because she had lost 40 pounds and weighed less than me (by quite a bit at that point because I had gained while she lost) and for most of our adult lives I've weighed less than her. Even if it was only by 5 pounds at some points. So even though I was morbidly obese and she is somewhere around 4 or 5 inches taller than me, I somehow justified that I was ok because she weighed more than me. Does that make any since at all?? Heck no!

I was so proud of myself today I did 30 minutes on the Elitpticle and then 30 minutes on the Arc trainer so I burned some serious calories! And because of my post yesterday, a very nice friend is letting me use her Gazelle and I'm super excited about it!! (**thanks again Angela!) So I got to go pick that up today. My husband had to get on it and act like a total idiot for a little bit but it was entertaining!

Have a good night!
<3 Honor

Day 41: Crazy Brain

2012-01-07T14:20:00.000-08:00

I just can't understand how some days 1500 calories seems like WAY to many, and then some days it seems like I'm starving all day long! I think it's mostly a mind game my brain plays on me as part of the food addiction. It's ridiculous though! As soon as I start getting confident and feel like I'm beginning to conquer this a little more...then I have one of those days where I can't seem to get enough to eat. Well I say Boo on that! Oddly enough, today hasn't been one of those days, I was just thinking about it when I was driving home from dropping off a cake.

Something I've been thinking about....and I even saw this on the biggest loser! Some people will have one high calorie meal per week. Typically after your weigh-in for the week. I have been watching all of the Biggest Loser Seasons and I'm on Season 5 at the moment and last night they had a short little part where Bob Harper talked about the contestants having a high calorie meal once a week after their official weigh-ins on the ranch. He said that gave them something to look forward to during the week and it helped many of the contestants keep from 'cheating' throughout the week. I have been giving this some serious thought...and I'm thinking I just might try it out for a few weeks. Bob said that having the high calorie meal helps jump-start your metabolism and actually helps Increase weight-loss throughout the week!! I figure I'll give it a try for the next few weeks and see how it goes...if I don't like the results, then I'll go back to doing it the other way.

We just finally took down our Christmas Tree, (things have been CRAZY lately!) and we put it where we usually keep an ottoman...I have decided that I'm going to move my exercise bike there...maybe that will encourage me to get a little extra Cardio in at home! I really REALLY wish I could get an eliptical or gazelle or something like that...they burn a ton of calories and I really enjoy them. :(

Thanks for reading!
<3 Honor

Day 40: Jello Legs

2012-01-06T14:08:00.001-08:00

I can't believe how long it took me to get over those meds this time! I was still pretty sluggish most of the day yesterday. I didn't make it to the gym again, because I just felt to weak to do anything. I ended up sitting in my oversized chair and watching the Biggest Loser most of the day. So today and tomorrow, I have two
Days to make up for and I'm not excited about it! I've made peace with the fact that I'm most likely not going to reach my initial goal of 100 pounds by the end of this challenge, but I knew it was a stretch when I decided on it. I'm really just concerned about seeing a smaller number each and every week, even if it's one pound. I definitely want to see more than that each week, but the main goal is to lose weight and find a healthier version of me that can hopefully carry a baby to full term, happy and healthy and then stay healthy for the rest of my life so that my husband and I and whatever family we are blessed with, can have a wonderful life together. ;) THAT'S the main goal. So anything that gets me closer to that goal is two thumbs up in my book!!

I feel EXTREMELY successful today! I met with my personal trainer and I'd some aerobic and weight training exercises, and then I went to the elipticle. I had planned to do 20 minutes, but ended up pushing through to 30, which made me feel great after missing two days. So I go to the locker room for a visit to the bathroom before I come home and I was thinking, "Am I really to tired to do anything else? Or can I push in a little more Cardio?" so I went upstairs and got on the satanic Arc Trainer...and I somehow survived ANOTHER 30 minutes! I was beside myself with excitement! My legs did feel like jello though!!

Good night all!
<3 Honor

Day 38 & 39: Root Canal Survival

2012-01-05T10:54:00.001-08:00

As I said on Day 37, I had a root canal yesterday. My dentist gives some great meds that keep me from stressing out to bad and they're try much knock me out. My appointment was at 1:30 yesterday afternoon and I slept until after 11am today! The good thing with that is that I'm really not in much pain at all. I feel sluggish and a little overhangish, haha, but I'm ok as long as I don't try to open my mouth to wide. :)

In Ypump on Tuesday, which would have been day 37, we did these things called pyramids. You start with a smaller weight for me that was a 3 pound one, and you do 15 reps of an exercise, then you go up to your next weight, 5 pounds for me, and don15 more. Then you go up to your heaviest weight, mine was a 12 pound bar, and do 30 reps, the. Back to the middle weight for 15 more, and 15 on the smallest weight. That's the pyramid 15-15-30-15-15....and my trainer had us do this MULTIPLE different ways! Ooouch!!! So needless to say, I am extremely sore...still!

My mouth is hurting me tonight, so I am going to end this now and head to bed with some pain killers :)
<3 Honor

Day 37: Weigh-In Number Five

2012-01-03T20:15:00.001-08:00

Today was probably the scariest weigh-in for me, simply because I
felt like I hadn't made the best choices this week. I even went over my calories one night for the first time in 37 days! Plus on Saturday I went to a wedding and ate Fried Chicken, with green beans, mashed potatoes, corn and a roll! My only saving grace there was that I had very small portions! And I had a small piece of wedding cake!! Needless to say, I could have done 10x's better this week than I did. But...I still exceeded my own expectations this morning when I hopped on that scale. I was Hoping and praying that I didn't GAIN any weight...and I didn't. I LOST 2 pounds!! Oh yea! So now I weigh 308.4. And have lost 42 pounds!! I can't wait to get back below 300!! I've been above 275 for probably 5 years or more. But I've only been over 300 for the last year or so. And that is really hard on me mentally. So to get back below the 300 mark will be fantastic! And then I'm headed for under 275, since I have been over that one for so long! When I got married in February of 2003, I'm pretty sure I was somewhere around 220-230ish. I'm not quite sure exactly what it was because I was in denial, even then. So I know that if I get below 220 I will definitely be smaller than my husband has ever seen me. THAT would be a Great feeling! But I have quite a long ways to go before I can even really think about that! The crazy thing is that for the first time, I really feel like my goals are achievable...I really, honestly and truly believe that I am going to get there! It's just going to take a little time. And I have to stay focused!! Losing focus would be detrimental to this journey.

I had a great thing happen to me today at Ypump. I was wearing some workout pants that I purchased at Vanity Fair after I found out I was accepted into the YMCA's fitness challenge. And when I bought them they were really snug. But since they were made of elastic and stretchy material, I went ahead and got them. At that point everything was so snug it was getting embarrassing anyways! But I wear the biggest size you can buy at Fashion Bug, Cato, or Lane Bryant. And I outgrew Walmart's pants a few years ago. So anyways, I'm wearing these pants that I really like to wear because they are super comfortable and one of my friends says..."Hey Honor, those pants are getting a little loose aren't they?" I looked down and was like, wow! I guess they are! My first thought, was instinctive...maybe I stretched them out! But no, I didn't. I'm just REALLY doing this! I've NEVER lost enough weight that my clothes fit differently. I've always dreamed about it...but never made it a reality...I'm LOVING THIS!!

Tomorrow I have a root canal and my wonderful Dentist prescribes me a "cocktail" of three different meds so that I'm good and relaxed and don't stress out to much about the procedures. This is my first root canal and I'm thoroughly terrified. But excited to get my tooth fixed! So needless to say, with those meds in me, I'm not sure if I'll be able to blog tomorrow! But please keep me in your prayers tomorrow!

Thanks everyone for taking the time to read my blog and for all of your support so far in this journey! I appreciate you!!
<3 Honor

Day 36: Hello there jeans!

2012-01-02T13:44:00.001-08:00

36 days ago I had one pair of jeans that fit me. Four or five months ago I decided I needed more than one pair that fit well, so I went to Fashion Bug to get me a pair. The pair I had was a 30 (I wear a 26/28 in everything BUT jeans) so I went in to buy me another pair. I tried on four different styles and not a single pair was comfortable. I settled on a pair, thinking that if I'd lose 'a few pounds' they would fit better. I wore them to see a movie (which is already an uncomfortable thing since the seats are not 'fat-friendly') and between the seats squeezing my hips so bad that I had bruises and the pants being so tight I thought I would be sick, I was miserable when I made it home and cried myself to sleep. So those jeans went in the closet to stay until I lost weight. Well today, I decided to see how they feel...and they fit!! I was so excited!!!

Today was a really great day! Although it is eleven and I haven't worked out yet...but I WILL before I go to bed! I went to Cape today with my good friend Ariel & her boyfriend, to try to get some things I needed for a western themed bridal shower cake I'm making this week and I found some really great stuff!! Really excited to make this cake because it's going to be awesome!

On my little outing we stopped for dinner at Chick-fil-a and I had a reall tasty dinner that didn't make me feel guilty. :) I had some of their sinfully amazing chicken nuggets and a side salad. I had quite a few calories by dinner so I enjoyed croutons and sunflower seeds in my salad with Ranch dressing! And let me tell ya...those folks know how to make an awesome side salad!!

So I ended up having a really great day and now I have to get in a workout!!

Have a good night!
<3 Honor :-)

Day 35: Happy New Year, What's your Resolution?

2012-01-01T08:58:00.001-08:00

It is is New Year, some say it's a time for new beginnings. Many make New Year' Resolutions...my pastor this morning said that by January 31st typically 60% of the people who made New Year's Resolutions have already given up! And by Valentine's Day (only two weeks later) it goes up to 75%!!! I am so glad I started my journey in November instead of January 1st!! Because I SURE don't want to become a statistic!

As the new year begins I find myself a little defensive about my gym time. So many people use the beginning of a New Year to commit to losing weight and working out...so what that means for me is that my special gym time is about to be compromised. There will be people littering the Zumba and Ypump classes and the Fitness room and I can't help but be sad about it! I seriously had an instinctive 'ugly' thought! I thought, well heck, 75% of these people will give up by Valentine's Day, so why don't they just give up now! Ha! No, no Honor that's not nice! But hey, what can I say, I'm human!

So my Resolution is to 'not have a resolution', but to make a commitment to myself (it's different, I promise!) to continue with this journey making it one of the top priorities in my life, not THE top priority, because that's reserved for God. And then my hubby, and a few other things. But this journey definitely has to be a lot higher on the list than it has been in past failed attempts. And so far, so good!

Everywhere I go I am confronted by temptations! I went to a birthday party of a very good friend (Olivia)'s daughter and there was cupcakes and ice cream, and lots of other yummy stuff but I did pretty ok and ended my day within my calorie goal, because I stayed Away from the cake and ice cream! And then I go to the gas station and when I walk in there is the distinctively delicious aroma of Pizza! Argh! But I held my head high and walked out with a Dasani! Then I get to my mom and dad's house and find myself being tempted again! BUT, as I said, I survived...thank God!

I think I'm ready to start off my year and I will do it one day at a time! I have high expectations for this year so I'm going to have to stay focused and determined!

Thank you for reading friends!
<3 Honor

Day 33 & 34: Busy Busy!

2011-12-31T08:59:00.001-08:00

Oops, I missed a day! I have been pretty busy with being sick and trying to finish a wedding cake. I have my sleeping schedule all out of whack from being on vacation and I really wanted to try to keep from doing that!

Today is the last day of 2011. I can't believe a year has already gone by. Before the start of the challenge, I had two previous failed weight-loss attempts. I think I lost 12 one of those times and can't even remember if I lost anything at all the other time. Pitiful. But this time has been a whirlwind of change. I truly believe that I am on the path of success this time and I'm really excited about it!

Have a Happy New Year! I will write more tomorrow....
<3 Honor

Day 32: A new frame of mind

2011-12-29T16:09:00.001-08:00

Everybody gets sick. Everybody has days when they don't feel like doing anything at all and just curl up on the couch and don't do anything at all...and today was that day for me. I feel like I have a ton of bricks in my pants holding me down and keeping me from being successful! I pulled up to the gym tonight and just sat there... I just couldn't muster up the will-power to go in. All I could think about was everything I would rather be doing. And eating something absolutely terrible for me was at the top of my list.

This has been the hardest day so far, and I did something I absolutely should not have done. I gave in to one of my triggers and went to eat Mexican with my husband. And because it was a spur of the moment thing, he took forever to meet me so I sat there, feeling sorry for myself, and ate way to many chips with salsa. I was utterly ashamed of myself. And even as I was eating I knew exactly what I was doing, and yet I continued to eat chip after chip. My only redeeming quality was that I broke the chips into smaller pieces so that I didn't eat as much, and what I eat at a Mexican place actually isn't crazy high in calories, but it's white rice instead of brown and that cheese sauce! So my dinner ended up being around 660 calories if I calculated properly. I did not go over my calorie goal, but I still feel like dirt. I shouldn't have given in. And the last week and a half or so has seemed like I throw in a little something (like cake) that fits into my calorie goal, but I know I shouldn't be eating. Or going out to eat. Eating out isn't a big deal for most people, but for me, it's a trigger. I almost feel like I'm losing control over my decisions a little bit at a time. Which is why I am writing all of this instead of keeping it to myself. I almost feel that once I've put it down in my blog...it's done. And now I have to do better...and I can!

So as I am writing this I am feeling better. Much better than at the beginning of today's blog. I was near tears and feeling defeated. And now, just a half of an hour later, and a few words later...I'm feeling empowered and I'm going to head to the gym to do a workout on my own. Maybe that''s what I needed in the first place, instead of a group workout. I just think that tonight, I would have made any excuse to do something else, because that was the mindset I was in.

Thanks for reading and encouraging me!
<3 Honor

Day 31: Sickness is coming!

2011-12-28T22:00:00.001-08:00

Today has been a rough day. I'm pretty sure I'm fixing to be dealing with a cold and I'm NOT excited about it! I work up with a sore throat and feeling achy so I know this week is going to be super tough...

As far as food goes, I had a great day! I made while wheat waffles for breakfast with sugar free syrup and had a big salad for lunch. I ended up having quite a few calories left at dinner time, so me and my hubby had dinner at Subway.

My workout today was really good! We did some circuit training and then of course I had my Zumba. :-) I'm really a little freaked out about my workouts after my vacation. I have been getting off around 5 every day and now I'm going to be working until 7. So no Zumba on the days I work. :( plus that will cut in to my personal training and my other workouts. So I'm going to have to regroup and figure something out:( boo!

Thanks for reading friends! I have a cake to work on that I have to have ready on Saturday.

<3 Honor

Special Edition: Pictures of my Smart Food Choices & Calorie Counting

2011-12-28T10:51:00.000-08:00

This is a beef eye of round steak, with green beans and a small baked potato with Salsa (a yummy low-cal alternative) and the whole dinner was 480 calories!

This is Chicken Tenderloin on brown rice (I cool the rice with chicken broth instead of water so tastier) with broccolli, carrots, and sauteed mushrooms. And this whole plate was only 255 calories!!

These little things are my Hero! Put a little spritz in your water and you have a tasty zero calorie drink.

This was my home-made pizza fix :) I just put some blended up tomato on the bottom with some seasoning to make it taste like tomato sauce. With cut up Turkey Slices, Mushrooms and fat-free shredded Mozzarella on Joseph's Pitas (I'm not a huge fan of the flavor, but it sure cured my craving) Weighing in at 350 calories

This stuff has been on almost everything I eat! It has a light buttery flavor and Zero calories, so I use it as a spritz on my brocolli, pan spray for cooking chicken, or shrimp, or beef, or when I pop up a 100 calorie bag of popcorn at night for a snack, I spray this on for a little more flavor. Yummy!

This is sauteed shrimp with some garlic and herb spice from McCormik, broccoli of course, and a small potato with a half serving of fat free sour cream, and a whole serving of salsa weighing in at 266 calories!

This is what I like to call my Turkey and Mushroom Scramble! It's really yummy! All it has in it is 3 egg whites, seasoned with Dill Weed (this stuff really makes it tatsy!), and a little bit of garlic powder, and then diced up slices turkey, mushrooms, and fat-free mozzarella cheese. With the broccolli and carrots it's only 296 calories for the whole plate!

This one is one of my favorites, simply because it's a ton of food and VERY low calories! And it's a way for me to get a variety of veggies in a way that I like them, because I'm really picky otherwise. This is an Oriental Stir-Fry (it comes in a BIG bag in the frozen section at Wal-Mart) with 3oz. of boneless skinless tenderloin and a side of baby carrots, and weighs in at only 225 calories!

This one I am particularly proud of because it's a really delicious spin on something that could be a diet-no no...Taco Salad! The 'shell' is 20 Light Sour Cream Pringles (100 calories), and then there's lean ground beef (4oz) seasoned with some Oregano, Cumin, Chili Powder, and Garlic Powder, so it has a nice 'Taco meat' flavor, and then lettuce, tomatoes, salsa, fat-free sour cream and topped off with some fat-free cheddar cheese. This one weighs in at 361 Calories!

This is a really nice hot tea, that will settle a sweet tooth AND a sore throat! The fat-free coffee mate says a serving is 4tsp. for 50 calories, so I cut that in half and enjoyed a 25 calorie hot tea that was DIVINE!

I hope these ideas give you an idea of some good choices you can make and enjoy! I plan to do this every now and then to share some of the tasty combinations I come up with that are good for ya, but still have some flavor! And I'm no chef, so Anybody can make this stuff!

I track all of my food intake on www.myfitnesspal.com and I use the iPhone app for convenient tracking while I'm at work and even while I'm cooking! (they have a barcode scanner, so I just scan stuff as I put it one my plate) If you are on there send me a friend request to Username: honorwarren

Thank you for Reading!!
<3 Honor

Day 30: Weigh-In Number 4

2011-12-27T12:47:00.001-08:00

It has been a month since the beginning of my journey and I'm still going strong! Nothing about it has been easy, but I am definitely starting to feel better. I feel like my pants are getting a little looser and that's exciting!

So, my starting weight was 350 pounds. And today...after 30 days of making healthier choices and exercising 6 days a week...I have reached my first goal (to lose more than 36 pounds)!!! I weighed in at 310.4 which is a total loss of 39.6 pounds!!!!!! I am SO proud of what I've accomplished and am feeling invincible!

I will be heading to the gym in a short while and I'm pumped up and ready to give it my 100%! Today is one of my long days of exercising. I will warm up on the Arc trainer and then 45 minutes of Ypump and an hour of Zumba. Fun stuff!

Day 29:Bye-Bye Birdie :(

2011-12-26T12:21:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow will be one month since the beginning of my journey and I can't wait for my weigh-in!! I am fully expecting to reach my first goal tomorrow and I'm excited to find out!

The time I got to spend with my family over the Christmas weekend was wonderful. I did indulge a bit yesterday and had some Christmas Candy but stayed disciplined and kept under my calorie goal. I had initially given myself a 2500 calorie goal for each day (Christmas Eve and Christmas Dat) , but I actually managed to stay under 2000 each day!! However, I did pay for my decision to indulge yesterday. Because last night I started feeling awful, and ended up losing my dinner! Alrighty then...lesson learned!

One of my best associates ever is leaving me at work and I'm sad about it! I'm actually eating dinner with her now. She has become one of my close friends and I really hate to see her go! But I definitely can't blame her for leaving. Our Regional planned to demote her to part-time after the first of the year and she has done nothing wrong! They just don't want to give out the hours. :( so I'm losing a really good employee! I'm trying really hard not to stress about work while I'm on vacation, but it's my studio, and even though I have to deal with some crazy corporate garbage...I still love the fundamental part of my job. So it's hard to disconnect. But I am trying. :-)

Have a good night everyone!
<3 Honor

Day 28: Christmas!

2011-12-25T21:30:00.001-08:00

Today is Christmas day and it's all about Jesus and spending time with my family. But I still have my goal at heart. I still am on this journey, even though today is a special day. I decided a few days ago that I wouldn't be strict with myself and pay the consequences tomorrow. :-) One day of being naughty does not mean an end to my journey. But...I still managed to do a pretty good job! I did indulge! I had 5 peanut butter Bon bons and two pieces of fudge! BUT...I still had under 2000 calories. :-) that makes me feel Amazing!

For Christmas my hubby got me Zumba for the Wii and I'm really excited to try it out! I'm hoping it will cure my problem with not working out at home! I know there are other things I can do, I just don't.

On a serious note:
I don't think people who have never battle with obesity realize how difficult it is to inhibit this body. Comments like, "move your big butt" or "I'll sit on your lap, you have plenty of room" may not seem hurtful to them, but to me it's a big slap in the face. Yesterday I heard multiple comments of that nature that weren't meant to be hurtful, but maybe I'm just extra sensitive right now, I'm not sure. But it still hurts. I know that I am a big girl. But I'm still a woman with feelings and my emotions seem to be on a roller-coaster as I dig deeper into this journey.

Day 27: Such a proud moment!!

2011-12-24T21:20:00.001-08:00

I am so super proud of myself right now!! I just went on My Fitness Pal and calculated my calories from dinner at grandma's house and my grand total was less than 2000! And that's with eating two cupcakes!! I never would have thought I would make it to the end of the day today and be able to say that.

My day actually started off terrible! And I thought oh boy, this is going to get ugly! I overslept and miss all of Ypump and by the time I made it to the y I only catched the last fifteen minutes of Zumba! Then I go to Walmart to pick up a few things and somehow came out with one of those 99¢ bags of Doritos! Ok...see what I mean...it wasn't looking good! But I made it through the day and didn't do to awful shabby despite my own self-destructive pattern! I AM my own worst enemy.

I have been dealing with a lot of the mental part of this journey lately. In fact, that's the hardest part for me. I wish there was just a shut off valve for my brain! That would make my life so much easier! But then, of course, I wouldn't appreciate the journey as much if I didn't have to fight for every single pound!

I have spent the past 27 days...maybe even a little longer than that, setting myself up NOT to fail. I have told any, and every body about my journey. Because I know that people will check up on me. People will see of I don't change. And I couldn't stand the embarrassment after how much "talking" I've done about what I'm I'm to accomplish here. I already feel so much more successful than I've ever felt. An after tomorrow the holidays will be over...the New Year will be here, and 75% of the nation will be on a diet with me for a few months. I know that many people are just setting themselves up for failure by starting a weight-loss venture as a "resolution" but maybe thought my hard work and dedication to this, maybe Incan inspire some of those people to stick it out, an put in the work to make their results life-changing and permanent!

The plan really is so simple. Especially right now... If I hit a plateau, a real honest to goodness, I'm doing everything right, plateau...I have a plan for that too. :)
So the main plan is:
7 days a week, track and eat no more than 1500 calories.
6 days a week, burn some calories in a cardiovascular activity of at least 20 minutes
3 of those 6 days, burn 1500 calories or more

That's it! That's the miracle weight-loss formula...and I promise you....if you stick to that...and have no health issues to hinder the process...you will lose weight. Really! When the weight-loss slows down, then we add more intensity and length to the workout !
After that stops working, then I have two food plans. Number one:drop the daily caloric intake. my doctor has told me that, with eating healthy food, I really can drop down as low as 800 calories a day for a few weeks at a time to busy through a plateau. And I can take my daily 1500 down to 1200 after I survive the plateau breakthrough. :-) see...I've got a plan!!

Thanks for Reading my friends! And Merry Christmas Eve!
<3 Honor

Day 26:Vacation & why is she looking at me!

2011-12-23T20:17:00.001-08:00

I am officially on vacation! And I'm terrified… It will definitely be a challenge to make it through the holidays, but also to do well with exercising on my vacation. I actually plan to exercise more on vacation since I won't be active like I am at work.

Okay so something has been bothering me that I wanted to share with you. I hate it when people watch me eat! And over the last few weeks I've noticed a lot of people watching me eat! What's up with people these days? That is just so rude! And of course I'm the one that notices more because it already freaks me out... Last night I got Chinese food with my sister, and while she was in the grocery store I was eating some of my dinner, and this little girl in the car next to us was staring me down like I was was eating one of those 6 foot long subs or something!! I would just peer over at her and give her the evil eye and then go back to my dinner...and lo and behold, when I'd look back she'd be staring me down like a cheesy taco! So I was just wondering if anyone else deals with that weirdness or maybe it's just me. :-)

I did 30 minutes straight on the Arc trainer today and it although I was still tired and very much excited to get done so I could leave and go on about my evening...it was noticeably easier. The first time I went upstairs to the arc trainer, I did 10 minutes, and when I came back downstairs, in seriously thought I might trip down the stairs because my legs felt like jelly! And when I came down tonight...my legs were tired for sure, but they didn't feel like jelly!! And I felt like I had total control over my body!

Day 25: Really? Almost a month?!

2011-12-22T13:34:00.001-08:00

In 5 days I will reach my one month mark! I'm actually pretty stoked about it! I have never done this well with a weight loss venture. Something I just realized is that on Day 30 I will get to weigh in! And I'm really hoping to reach my first goal that day!!! I only have to lose 2.5 pounds this week to reach it! That sounds easy...except for the fact that this is Christmas Week!!! But I am confident that I can make it happen!!

Today has been a pretty good day so far...work has gone well and I'm about to be leaving. I'm so superly lee duberly excited because that brings me one day away from my two week vacation!!!! Wooohooo! It sure can't get here soon enough! But I do have lots to get done over the next few days. One thing I have to figure out is how I'm going to navigate Grandma's house on Christmas Eve. I'm thinking of making a few healthy dishes and taking a pre-made salad from home so that I can monitor what I'm eating. The salad has 270 calories, and then I could do a little bit of turkey and dressing and just leave off the gravy. The sweets are the hardest part for me so I haven't decided exactly what I'm going to do with that yet. I was thinking about having just a teeny tiny piece of a few of my favorites and then calling it a night. Yea...I think that's what I'll plan to do. See for me, I need a game plan. I can't just go in blind and 'Wing it' or I'll screw up.

Yesterday I went to dinner with my family with 1100 calories to play with. I had a 3-course meal and gave my included dessert to my daddy. I figured a guesstimation of the calories, while guessing high, and I'm pretty sure I stayed perfectly within my calorie goal. That made me a VERY happy lady, because I felt like I didn't 'cheat' even though I ate some really yummy stuff !

Today is one of my big workout days. 45 minutes at Ypump, and then an hour of Zumba. Whew! I'm tired just thinking about it!!

Thanks for reading my dear friends!
<3 Honor

Day 24: My Sister's Birthday

2011-12-21T15:17:00.001-08:00

Today is my one and only little Sister's birthday. We will go out for dinner as a family and this will be my first celebratory dinner since the beginning of my journey, which will be a nice test for the upcoming Christmas temptations. I know that most people would say that my plan for today is a bad one, but I'm doing what I think is right for me. Which means that I have had under 500 calories so far today. And I did that so that I can enjoy dinner with my family without feeling like I'm going to go over my calories for the day, or go without. That's a smart plan in my brain. :-) I managed to squeeze in 20 minutes of Cardio and I'm good with that for today because I have been a busy bee all day working on finishing the Barbie cake, which came out beautifully! And working on cupcakes to take to my Granny's for Christmas at her house. So I have been on my feet nearly all day.

Everybody thinks I'm crazy for making sweets while I'm changing my eating habits and overcoming these food addictions...but I really feel like it helps me stay on track! The smell kindof gets nauseating after a while and then I'm not cravings sweets at all. I LIKE that! Because this girl likes some sweets!

It's time to get ready for dinner! Wish me luck! And thanks for reading!
<3 Honor

Day 23: Weigh-In number Three

2011-12-20T11:00:00.001-08:00

Today has been a MUCH better day than yesterday. Last night I came home from Zumba and made dinner. I set down to watch TV for a bit before I made the rest of the cakes needed for a Barbie Cake that I'm doing this week and within thirty minutes I had passed out in my chair! So at some point my hubby woke me up and got me to go to bed. I ended up sleeping for 12 hours!! See! I told you I had no problems sleeping! And although I did wake up with a yucky headache from oversleeping, I now feel great! Which is a very good thing, because I have a long day!

I usually weigh-in on Tuesday mornings, but because it's Christmas week I am working today, so it will be this evening when I weigh in. Boo! I'm sad about it, because you always weigh more in the evenings. But I will be checking back in this evening to share my results!

The results are in...and I lost 2.5 pounds this week... I don't like hearing that nearly as well as saying that in 23 days, I have lost 34.5 pounds!!!! THAT is something I'm super excited about!! Only 2.5 pounds away from reaching my first goal (to lose 37 pounds). I know that goal will be met soon!! AND, my trainer measured me today and I lost 2.5 inches from my hips, and an inch off of my waist! So that's hard-clad proof that my body is changing! Slowly....but it's changing! I also lost an inch from each arm, which was really exciting, because I HATE my fat arms and my 'bye-bye's' (that's the under arm flab that waves bye bye when you raise your arm to wave bye bye. Lol!

I have done an hour and forty five minutes of cardio today and I'm heading into the fitness room to do 15 on the elipticle to round me off to 3 hours.

Have a good night and thanks for reading friends!

<3 Honor

Day 22: STAY OFF THE SCALE!!

2011-12-19T11:03:00.001-08:00

Ok so I will recant my statement from a few days ago...the scale is only a motivational tool as long as it says what you expect. If it consistently does not show positive change over the course of a few days, then it becomes a problem. I don't quite know what is going on at the moment, but that darn scale just won't go down this week and nothing on my part has changed, so I know it is ok. My trainer says that at some points your weight-loss can slow down for a week or so while you build muscle and although you don't see it in the scale this time...the weight will still come off. I can work with that...so I just have to keep motivated and have positive thoughts about this and I will make it through. This has always been a hinging point for me on any weight-loss attempt. When the scale stops moving I give up! Simple as that. But I will NOT let my body conquer me this time!

I have been struggling with this all week. It's easy to stay motivated and in control when you see the awesome results I did in the first few weeks. But when things slow down, that's when the real test begins. And that's when you listen to your skinny self that's hidden under all of that fat saying, "Come on juicy booty! We've GOT this!" ...alright skinny girl...

Every time I get a vacation, the week before it I get very edgy and a little moody. I haven't had a good vacation since after Christmas last year and I usually have a good couple of weeks in the summer. But not this year, we spent it in the hospital with my dad. My job can be very stressful, much more than most people think. So vacation time is critical!

Thanks for reading friends!
<3 Honor

Day 21: O.C.D. And B.M.R.s Oh My!

2011-12-18T10:09:00.001-08:00

It's hard for me to do ANYTHING and actually stick with it for an extended amount of time. I'm that person who starts lots of projects, but hardly ever finishes them. So that is really strange considering the fact that I have O.C.D.

A lot of people think that O.C.D. means obsessive cleaning disorder...or just someone who repeats things. Well it's actually obsessive Compulsive disorder and those two things are some common traits, but not the only one traits someone with the disorder might deal with. I personally deal with things like being terrified of natural disasters, and trains...well the hobo that could be on the train actually. The doors and windows HAVE to be locked, sometimes I'll get up in the middle of the night just to check. And I have this thing about "everything has a place it belongs" sometimes I'm really obsessive about it, and sometimes it's not as bad. It depends on how emotionally stressed my body and mind is. So I'm actually hoping that maybe I'll get just a little obsessed with working out...that would be nice...

We have SOOOO much going on this week! I am really excited about Christmas coming up because my vacation starts Christmas Eve and I'm off until a week after New Years. I already have lots of plans for those two weeks:-)

So one of my bigger challenges in this journey is not eating out. I would normally eat out for lunch every day while at work and then eat out two or three times a week for dinner. Now, it's Subway or home. That's a huge adjustment. I know that I had a huge problem with my eating out, but I really think that was another part of my O.C.D. When I go to a restaurant, I have my one favorite thing that I order every single time I go to that restaurant. It's a little weird, I know. Lol. But I could seriously name off every restaurant that I enjoy eating at and then tell you exactly what I would order. Ok, yea it's dinner time...so all of my favorites are fresh on my brain and sounding yummy!! Not to mention that my husband asked me TWICE to go out to eat tonight! What is the man trying to DO to me. I was a good girl though, and politely declined...ok not so polite the second time. You see, eating out is actually a trigger for me...so I have to stay away at ALL cost! And I can do that! This Wednesday is my sister's birthday and we will be going out to celebrate...I know that I can be good, I was good at Applebee's last week...so I'm confident that I can handle it.

This week I am pretty sure my weight-loss is going to be significantly less than it has been, but that's ok. Because I have put in the work, I haven't cheated a single time, and I'm building the muscle my body needs to fight the fat. If I even lose 1 pound I'll be happy with it, because I know that the number is going down and not every week will be such a small nber. 3500 calories burned is one pound and I have burned over 5500 this week on top of the fact that my BMR (Basil Metabolic Rate), which is the amount of calories my body would burn if I did absolutely nothing and stayed in bed all day, is 2200. So if I'm eating 1500 calories or less a day that's a 700 calorie dividend plus whatever regular activity I do, PLUS working out...see, I know my stuff! Lol!! If I did just that every week, I should lose three pounds or more a week. But I'm doing MORE! So it's going to go down folks! It just HAS to!!

Thank you so much for your support in my journey! And if any of you have started weight-loss journeys of your own, like my good friend, Olivia, then good for you!! She lost 6 pounds this week!!

Thanks for reading my friends!
<3 Honor

Day 20: 1 More Day?

2011-12-17T18:57:00.001-08:00

I woke up with a terrible migraine this morning so I missed my workout! I really wish the Y had longer hours on Saturdays. So I worked all day long, and now I'm babysitting. I definitely want to get at least a small workout in tonight, but I'm wondering if I'll get to. I think that is definitely one of the hard parts of weight-loss...fitting everything into your schedule.

I love how I am starting to feel a sense of comfort with my new life style. Studies say that it takes 21 days to form a new habit or get rid of an old one. While I feel some comfort in knowing that tomorrow is day 21, I also know that this does not mean its the end of the struggle. But maybe, just maybe, it will get a little easier.

I did REALLY well with my food today. I have found a new love for Special K, Oats and Almonds. It makes a good breakfast that seems to stick with me for the better part of the morning. And then I had my trusty Subway Turkey on Wheat with no cheese for lunch. And for dinner I had a HUGE plate of Chicken stir-fry with baby carrots and it was only 230 calories!! Yum!!!

It has been a long day, so I'm going to keep it short tonight. Thank you for reading dear friends!

Day 19: Scary dreams!

2011-12-16T18:29:00.001-08:00

I'm starting to think that I am in a personal fight with my body to lose weight! I've been at this for two and a half weeks and been doing better than I could have ever imagined. But now my body is really starting to kick back from the abuse it has received. My feet are really bothering me (I have plantar fasciitis, which is more commonly known as 'bone spurs' or 'heel spurs') they HURT!! It used to be only one foot, but now it's both. And the saddest part is that the best thing I can do for them is to lose weight. Well thank ya very much! I'm on that!!

Ok, so I am a person who either rarely dreams, or I just can't remember them. Last night I had a dream and actually remembered it and you know what it was about? I dreamt that I had a dislocated elbow from doing the planks and push-ups! Ha!! My brain is even trying to trick me! The funny thing was that the dream was so convincing that I woke up rubbing my arm and thinking for a minute that maybe it really was hurt!

Today was a long day, but managed to survive it! I'm exhausted and feel like I could sleep for a day straight! You always hear of overweight people having trouble sleeping...NOT ME! I could sleep for twelve hours straight!

Have a good night friends!
<3 Honor

Day 18: Food Addiction

2011-12-15T13:21:00.001-08:00

I keep waiting or this day when I wake up a magically don't have any cravings! Ok so reality is...that's NOT going to happen. It's just not. I do believe that it will get easier in time, but it's a slow going process...

Food addiction is like other addictions in many ways. For example, you have cravings, you have urges, and you have withdrawals. But it is also TOTALLY different from other addictions. Imagine a crack addict who is trying to quit. She gets as far away from crack as possible and stays away from people who use. Now imagine if that same person had to quit, but they had to take three puffs from that crack pipe every day and no more. She could never do it!! THAT'S why food addiction is so hard to overcome! You HAVE to have food to stay alive, but if you eat to much, it can kill you! It's a crazy thought...

Today has been ok...physically I feel like Superwoman...but then I catch a glimpse in the mirror and Bleh! It's just really hard to see that huge person staring back at me... People have always told me, "You have a pretty face" or "you have pretty eyes" and ok, I can see that there is some niceness to my features...but I can also see how much fat surrounds my face. I daydream sometimes of how my face will look when I get the weight off. I've never been at a healthy weight, so no one, including myself, knows what I would look like!

I pulled out the measuring tape this morning an found that I've already lost an inch off of my waist and approximately 2-2.5 off of my hips! I really won't know for sure on the hips because a standard tape is 60 inches and my starting was 66.5 on them, so it take ls another person to use a second measuring tape to get it accurate. And that is another one of my goals! To be able to measure my hips with one tape!

So the goals I am coming up on are:

1.) lose more weight than I ever have (36 pounds is the most I've gotten off)
2.) Get back below 300 pounds
3.) lose 6.5 inches in my waist so that I can measure with only one measuring tape.

I have many more. Many, many, MANY more...but I will get there slowly...

Thanks for Reading my dear friends!
<3 Honor

Day 17: Long Day and I AM feelin It!

2011-12-14T12:02:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was a long day and today seems to be following a similar pattern. Christmas is right around the corner and I have a huge list of things that have to get done...yet I volunteer myself for more...why do I do that?

I spent part of last night and a vast majority of my morning making mini cupcakes to package up and take to the pastors house so that they can be distributed in goody bags for our local school faculty. PLUS , I spent the majority of the night last night with my mom working on some little flower arrangements to take to a nursing home that our church sponsored for Christmas. Yea, my church is awesome ;) I love being involved in stuff like that, but my work schedule makes it nearly impossible most of the time.

So, needless to say, all of this goody baking is a definite challenge in the world of healthy living!! And I have been a very good girl....my best advice for you is to bake on a full stomach. I eat my healthy meal and then do my baking so that way I'm not quite so tempted.

Today was another one of those days to where I normally would not have worked out. My body is tired and my muscles are sore. But I took my butt to the gym like I knew I needed to! Right now I'm a little overwhelmed by how much stuff has to be done before Christmas. And I'm working really hard to stay on track. But I want you to know that it is not easy! Every single day, if not multiple times a day, I crave food that is bad for me... But somehow I have managed to overcome the cravings. Christmas time is a really hard time for anyone to diet especially someone who is morbidly obese, and I am by no means looking forward to it. But I really feel like I have a better grip than I ever have before.

Today has been one of the hardest days out of all of them as far as food cravings are concerned. But I survived that to, and now I'm going to get me some dinner!

Thank you for reading my dear friends!
<3 Honor

Day 16: Weigh-In Number Two

2011-12-13T14:06:00.001-08:00

Sixteen days ago I weighed 350, 7 days ago I weighed 331, and today I weigh 318!! In 16 days I am down 32 pounds!!!!! So that gets me 5 pounds away from my first goal, which was to lose more than I ever have (36 pounds), and I'm only 18 away from my first milestone...which is to be under 300.

I still have a hard time believing that inlet myself get that high! Two years ago I weighed 286-293. And I had held that weight for quite a while. In March of 2010 I quit smoking and thought I would overcome the stigma and "lose" weight after quitting. That's when I lost the 36, then my sister had a huge life altering thing happen in July that had her not eating and me eating what she wasn't. I gained 60 pounds! And then climbed even higher this year. It just doesn't seam real that I'm fighting to weigh under 300. BUT...it's only a matter of time until I'm fighting to get below 200 and then in to 1nder land I'll go. I've been over 200 pounds since at least junior year in high school, so the idea of getting that low doesn't even seem like its doable. But it is. And I will get there!

I'm making cupcakes tonight for goofy baskets for my church to give out to teachers. I can't quite figure out why I like making cupcakes and cakes so much...but I do! I love it! A sweet little treat once in a while is ok. A sweet tweet every day is not ok! I have three cakes to make in the next three weeks and I'm very excited about them. I'm happy to make all of them. Sometimes I'll get an order for one that will freak me out because I don't know how well I'll be able to do it. But these are going to be great :)

Have a good day my friends! And thank you for taking time out of your day to read my random thoughts :)

Your support is Beyond appreciated!
<3 Honor

Day 15: Week Two is down for the count!

2011-12-12T15:23:00.001-08:00

I am so excited that I can say I've survived two weeks! I didn't have any doubts though;) Did you? lol

I am utterly humbled by the people who have come to me over the past few weeks and said that I have inspired them! I know, beyond a shadow of doubt, that I am fully committed to see this journey through...but seeing how much other people believe in me leaves me in awe...

Tomorrow is weigh-day number two, and while I have a tingling feeling of terrified anticipation...I also have a feeling of accomplishment. Because I know I've put in the work and stated perfect on my calories this week. So the scale shall reward me for my hard work and dedication! :-)

I'm off of work for my mid-week weekend (I'm generally off Tuesdays and Wednesdays) and I'm excited about it! I love my days off, and now I have more energy (yes that really does happen when you workout regularly) and I get to put up my Christmas Decor! I have a very busy few days ahead of me, which is great for keeping my mind off of food. When I'm not busy, I find myself daydreaming about different foods I'm going to miss and thats just sad!! There is MORE to life than food!! I PROMISE! <-yea that was a message from me, to me!

I am starting to feel a little apprehensive about the holidays. I know that I can make good food choices...but I have a confession...I haven't successfully had a workout at home. It's amazing to me how much easier it is to pack up my gym bag and go to the Y, than to just put in some workout clothes and do something at home. I have some really great videos, and I know a ton of stuff that I could do to burn calories, but I get home in my little comfort zone and put it off until its to late and I'm off to bed. The Y will not be open on some days closer to Christmas and I still had to workout...so I've GOT to get a grip on this quick! But, in the famous words of George Lopez, "I Got This!" :-)

I'm headed to Subway for dinner and then off to the Y!!

Thanks for reading my dear friends!
<3 Honor

14: Why I Have to lose the weight

2011-12-11T15:46:00.001-08:00

I thought I would share with you today why it is that I have decided to start this journey and lose the weight now.

I turned 28 in June. That means that I am now 18 months away from being 30 and will celebrate my 9 year wedding anniversary this coming February. Time is quickly moving by, and we do not have any children.

In January 2004 I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, more commonly known as P.C.O.S. that, in a nutshell, means that it will be extremely difficult for me to become pregnant, without losing a significant amount of weight. The doctor was very helpful with putting me on birth control to regulate my cycle and in October of that year my husband was to leave for boot camp to become a member of the National Guard. In July, August, and September of 04 we did 3 rounds of Clomid, which is used to induce ovulation (egg production) in women who do not produce ova (eggs) but wish to become pregnant. Obviously that didn't work. So my husband, Jamie, went off to boot camp and I stayed home. During the three months that he was gone I started to have increasingly painful migraines daily.

By late December I was having difficulty seeing properly and had numbness on parts of my face, so on the 23rd I went to the E. R. They mis-diagnosed me with Bells Pausy (which is a random condition that causes facial numbness and goes away on its own). They did not address the migraines nor the vision problems and sent me home with a referral to see a Neurologist after the first of the year.

Thankfully I had a planned vacation the week after Christmas since my husband would be home for those days before going on to his specialized training for another three months. I was terrified. He had to leave again, and I still had this crazy thing going on with my vision, and couldn't drive nor could I work. After he left my mom took me to see the neurologist and within moments of some preliminary testing he rushed us over to have me admitted in the hospital. After a week of testing and being scared out of my mind, they performed a Spinal Tap and an MRI and Diagnosed me with a Pseudo Tumor Ceribi. Which pretty much meant that my brain thought I had a tumor, which it didn't, so the "protection" it was giving me was putting pressure in my optic nerve causing the vision problems, and other nerves-causing the facial numbness and giving me the migraines. This was an incurable disease which would require medication for the rest of my life and in the words of the neurologist, "You'll either lose weight, or you'll go blind", devastated me an threw me into a horrible depression.

Let's fast-forward to about a year later...I had managed to lose maybe 20 pounds,if that, and it was time for a check-up MRI to see how things were going and make sure the condition wasn't getting any worse. In that year I had switched neurologists because I felt that the first one was mean to me just because I was overweight and I had a really hard time getting over his comment (which was made while I had a foot long needle in my spine). So I go to the new neurologist and he does the MRI and guess what?? This incurable disease has mysteriously disappeared!!

Ok... I didn't know what to think...but I sure did celebrate! I had this newfound freedom and appreciation for life and just didn't realize how much time was passing and we were still childless...

So now here I am, present time, well about a month and a half ago, at a low point in my life. I take pictures of children and families every single day and watch awesome parents and despicable parents pass through my doors and I have this insane jealously towards the good ones and absolute rage towards the bad ones. I couldn't understand why God would give these terrible parents children and not us! What had we done to deserve a childless marriage? Well it's NOT my job to ask God why. It's my job to pray and ask that God's will be done in our lives. That's a hard thing to do when you feel like you've been cheated. So, I had myself a little "Come to Jesus moment" and realized that losing weight was not just about me. It's also about my husband and the potential of having a family with him. My selfishness through food addiction has not only hurt me but it's also hurt him as well. So I decided to change. This is something I have complete control over, I just have to retrain my brain and my body to agreeing with that!

So now the plan is to lose down to under 170 by the time I turn 30 (June 28th, 2013. Which gives me approximately 18 months. If I reach my goal and lose 100 pounds within the length of the Fitness Challenge, then I will only have 70 more pounds to go to reach my long-term goal and I'll have more than a year to make it happen! Sounds like a PLAN!!

Thank you for reading dear friends!
<3 Honor

Day 13: Ready to look how I feel

2011-12-10T17:44:00.001-08:00

I feel great! I can feel my body slowly starting to get stronger. I'm being able to do certain exercises better. I was on the Arc Trainer yesterday for 25 minutes!! So I just can't wait for all of this hard work to start showing! That, in itself, is enough to keep me motivated. I've never lost enough weight to actually be able to see results, other than a number on the scale.

I HATE having to choose "fat people friendly" chairs. I just had to run a jack to my sister to change a flat tire, and to get to my jack I had to remove some things from my trunk. And there it is...my fat girl lawn chair. I remember the day I bought it last summer, I was so excited to have a chair that I didn't feel uncomfortable in or afraid I might break it. Now when I look at it, I can't help but feel a waive of nausea for what I let happen to my body. But at the same time I felt a sense of pride for what I am doing to rectify the situation!

I finished the cake...and didn't eat it! There were some points during the baking and decorating process when I seriously felt like grabbing up a hunk of the part I had shaved off and just eating away!! In the past I rarely ate the left-over parts from shaving down my cakes. But now I find myself craving it simply because it's something I've told myself I can't have! That happens to me in the grocery store too...yummy little 6000 calorie apple pies (ok, maybe not THAT many calories...but CLOSE!) that I wouldn't have taken a second glance at two weeks ago, and now I'm drooling over them!

I really am enjoying the foods I choose to eat. I've had a ton of broccoli, mushrooms and lemon pepper chicken over brown rice. I make an awesome (and filling) omlet for under 200 calories. Some yummy mini pizzas one night for under 400 calories (but I have a hard time with pretty much any kind of low calorie|whole wheat tortillas or Pitas, so the crust wasn't the best part. But it definitely solved my pizza cravings!). And I've had a LOT of Subway lunches. Probably not the most beneficial calorie choice, but it works for me right now. I work as the manager of the portrait studio in Wal-mart, so we have a Subway there in the store, so most every day when I'm at work I just walk down to Subway for lunch. Yum! Turkey on wheat, no cheese, toasted, with tons of veggies...only 280 calories for the 6 inch and it's yummy!! Plus I add a bag of Sunchips and we're in business!

I'm STARVING and I just got home from work, so I'm headed into the house to make the healthiest
Taco salad ever! (using light Pringles as my base, and then lean ground beef with veggies and salsa!-Yum!)

Thanks for reading my dear friends!
<3 Honor

Day 12: More water please!

2011-12-09T14:36:00.001-08:00

I think my new active life-style is beginning to catch up with me! I feel like I could go to sleep tonight and sleep all day tomorrow...NOT going to happen, since I work...but it's a nice dream to have all day...

Last night's workout was probably the toughest so far. My trainer was called out for a family emergency so we were tucked into another class and it was twice as intense as the usual one. That followed by Zumba was almost more than I could handle. In the brighter side I did burn a TON of calories! 1652 to be exact! That's almost a half of a pound right there! It really amazes me how much hard work it takes to just lose one pound. It can become overwhelming! I mean all the work it takes to lose one and I need to do that 200 times!! Wow!

But, as I said yesterday, this is a One day at a time journey. I can't fast-forward no matter how much I'd like to.

My body is really starting to adjust to my new eating habits. I find my stomach growling less and less each day. I also seem to be craving water too. That's a CRAZY thought, because I'm so used to saying, "I hate water". Health professionals say that to find out how much water your body needs you take your weight and divide by two and that's how many ounces. If I were to do that (331/2=165.5) which is the equivalent to 20.6 cups (8oz) of water per day. WOW!! I've never consumed that much liquid in a day. However, because of this new-found knowledge, I do push myself to drink more water and have found that it gets easier and easier each day. Right now I'm getting an average of 12-8oz glasses a day. I'll TAKE that!! It's more than ever for me and I attribute that to being a nice factor in my seemingly rapid weight-loss. The scale is still moving down and I'm excited!!

I can't wait to see what tomorrow holds :)

Thanks for reading dear friends!
<3 Honor

Day 11: One Day at A Time

2011-12-08T10:31:00.001-08:00

Today has already been pretty great. I love that I can feel my body getting stronger and stronger each day. I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that I am doing so well at this! Typically by this point, I've already gone over my calorie budget at least a few times and I've started to skip days at the gym for some made up reason.

Last night felt great! I went to eat with my sister (something we do together frequently) and we BOTH make healthy choices! I'm so proud of her! She has been on a weight-loss journey of her own for over a year and a half now and has lost 70 pounds! She has taken a bit of a break for the last few months, but has recently jumped back on the weight-loss boat with me. :-)

I use My Fitness Pal to track my calories and cardio so that I can keep a running total of my progress. Be careful though if you use it, because they try to even out your calories, so if you burn 500 calories in the gym, you get to eat 500 more that day! WHAT? Eat back all of my hard work?! I think not! Hehe, so I just keep track of calories consumed and calories burned. Let me tell ya, when it says I've burned more than I've eaten for the day...that's when I get excited!! I really do think that has a large impact on my dramatic weight-loss.

So I have a confession to make...because the scale said something so unbelievable to me this past Tuesday, I was insanely worried that maybe I wouldn't lose any this week. So last night after my workout I hopped on the scale. In my mind I was saying, "well I just wanna see". Maybe I was afraid it might go up just a little, so I want to keep on track. NOPE. It went down a little more Already! What the crap?! I'm so excited! I can't wait to see what my official weigh-in will be next Tuesday! For some people, those little sneaks into the scale can mean compromising their weight-loss because they might not see the results they expect, so they get discouraged and give up. That used to be me too! But this time around, I'm so pumped up, and I'm doing EVERYTHING right! So if the scale doesn't give me what I'm looking for, that's just like adding fuel to the fire! It's a motivational thing to get me pumped up and burning some more calories!

Some people have asked me: Where are you getting your will power from? And I've said, "What will power honey? This is just sheer determination!" I think, in the past, I've been to hung up on the stigmas that You have to have the will power, or You have to be willing to make a life change forever. I'm over that. This is a One Day at a Time Commitment. (one of my favorite old gospel songs) and each day when I wake up, I determine how my day is going to go. I have the option to make it good or bad, despite the circumstances, and I am the only one who can control what I eat today and how much I exercise.

So maybe it's only Day 11, but to me, it's another day that I've decided to make the decisions that will get me closer to my goal. And, by George, I'll get there!!

Thank you for reading my dear friends,
<3 Honor

Day 10: I Feel Amazing!!

2011-12-07T18:28:00.001-08:00

I cannot describe to you how great I feel! I've been proud of myself for accomplishments before, but this, this is such a big deal!! I have received so many encouraging words and good wishes over the past 10 days! I can't imagine what it will feel like when I can actually SEE the results. My muscles are still tender, but that's a good thing. That tells me that the workouts I'm doing are building muscle. I'm certainly not working towards body builder status, but having a little bit of a bicep sure wouldn't hurt my feelings!I'm struggling with cravings, of course. I just keep telling myself that as long as I keep overcoming them, they will become less and less. It's hard to imagine that at this point though!! I've been spending a lot of time the past few days working on a cake, and that's when I feel the weakest! EVERYTHING looks tasty to me! Maybe just a little lick of buttercream icing...or just a small piece of the cereal treat...haha NO! That's a TRAP! A little leads to a little more, and then a little more...and then I fall off of the bandwagon! No thanks:) So instead I had a nice filling bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, and then when I started feeling hungry again I had a bowl of Doc's Chili(biggest loser recipe with only 162 calories per cup and nice and hearty!)So I've made it through the majority of my day and am now seated at a booth at Applebees with my sis, which is a huge thing because I've been staying away from restaurants, other than Subway...but they have their under 550 menu and I'm on it!!Thanks for reading dear friends!<3 Honor

Day 9: Weigh Day!!!

2011-12-06T09:11:00.001-08:00

Whoops I missed yesterday! But I was still eating healthy and working out!!

Today was my first official weigh-in and after 9 days I've lost 19 pounds!!!!!!!!!!! I am Overjoyed!! Estatic!! Shocked!! Lol I don't know WHAT to think!! I knew I had worked really hard, but that definitely had my jaw dropping :-) I CAN do this!

The most I've made it on an elipticle o r arc trainer is 7 minutes so far...today, my trainer, Cindy, somehow got me to 17 minutes!!! Wow! I am sitting in the sauna as I write this and am so pumped up that I could probably go to 17 more!! But I still have a cake to work on, so I will be going home and putting my energy toward that until tonight when I do Ypump and Zumba!!

Ok, I just had to update that I burned over 2000 calories today!!!

Thanks for Reading dear friends!
<3 Honor

Day 7:No Sunday Blues Here & A Cake Challenge!

2011-12-04T11:04:00.001-08:00

So usually by this point in my journey I get the Sunday blues. By that I mean that the Y is only open for a few hours during the afternoon and I work those hours...so no gym. The gym is where I feel successful. I would love doing workout videos at home if I felt comfortable jumping around in the house. But I always have this terrifying feeling that if I jump...I might break stuff...really! So Sundays are REALLY tough for me! Today I work like usual and then I will go home and do a video (minus the jumping) before dinner.

I haven't mentioned before, but I make specialty cakes as a side job because I love it! Today I will be starting my first cake since I started this...and I'm a little apprehensive. I KNOW I can do this...but it will definitely be different from past cake-making experiences.

I wanted to mention that I am having a lot of fun figuring out different ways to make healthy low-cal meals that taste great! I love to have a big ole' plate full of food that weighs in under 400 calories!! I plan to try to figure out how to get pictures on here soon so I can share. :-)

It's amazing how here we are at day 7 and I already feel so accomplished! Weigh day is Tuesday and I'm Super excited to get some official results!

Thanks for reading!
<3 Honor

Day 6:I Feel Like I'm on Fire!

2011-12-03T12:48:00.001-08:00

I am telling you THIS chick has got what it takes! I am just all fired up and ready to go, go, GO!!! I may have had a little sneak at the scale and I know that's bad for me because if it doesn't say what I think it should, I get discouraged VERY easily. But I just couldn't help myself. I won't post yet because I want my weigh-ins to be official when I am at the Y because that's where my starting weight was.

Today has been a busy day at work and I knew it would be! But I did something VERY uncharacteristic of myself...I got up at 7! I was so proud!! I got up and made myself an Awesome omelet, and then got dressed and went to the Y for Ypump...it felt Amazing! And last night I purchased a watch that will track my heart rate and calories burned for my workouts so I can keep a more accurate tally of my personal calories burned. This morning I burned 606!! What?? Oh yea!! I'm looking forward to a visit this evening for some more Cardio and maybe some weight training and Definitely a trip to the Sauna! :-)

Thanks for Reading!
<3 Honor

Day 5: I am Not an Early Birdie!

2011-12-02T22:10:00.001-08:00

I have made it through day five! I am feeling REALLY great! I have not cheated in my diet at all!!! Staying under 1500 calories a day seems like a breeze on some days and utter torched on others. I'm guessing that may be partially due to the fact that I am a real addict. I have cravings...just like I did when I quit smoking. In truth, the food cravings are farther apart from the nicotine cravings, so I should be able to do this! The exercise is what's so difficult for me. I HATE to workout!! The dance classes definitely make it easier. But I still have to spend time doing the elipticle, the stationary bike, lunges, crunches...blah blah blah! Yuck!! BUT I've made it Almost a week! Lol that doesn't seem very long in the grand plan...but one day at a time baby!!

So it's after midnight and I have to be up at 7 to go meet my trainer at 8. Bio. I usually drag (and I mean drag) out of bed at 9:30 rushing to leave for work in 15 minutes and skipping breakfast. This has to change, I know. And I've been getting up at 9 all week. But 7?!? I'm going to be so ready for my bed tomorrow night!!!

Good night all:) and skinny dreams!
<3 Honor

Day 4: Zumba may be the Devil!

2011-12-01T18:48:00.001-08:00

Well, I survived day 4. Barely. It feels like I layered another layer sore over what I already had! I know this feeling will get better as I get stronger, but I'm pretty sure I've never pushed myself this hard before!!

Making healthy eating choices has always been difficult for me. After all, that's how I got this way in the first place. But these last four days I feel like a new me! I don't feel hungry all day...I'm tempted to indulge in a trigger food from time to time...but I'm VICTORIOUS!! I have stayed under 1500 calories each day.

I am exhausted and planning to hit the sack a bit early tonight!! Good night!

Sweet Dreams my friends!
<3 Honor

Day 3: Where did that muscle come from??

2011-11-30T22:13:00.001-08:00

I think it is safe to say that I am hurting in places I didn't know existed!! Wow!
After yesterday's awesome workout I was already pretty achy...and then I met with my trainer for a bit of spinning (20 mins) an low-impact Zumba...then I went to an hour Zumba class! Let me tell ya...I am Beat! Day 3 is over and I'm feeling super great to have survived it. Believe it or not I rarely make it to this point without cheating "just a little" and that's just the downward spiral to the end of that attempt. I have been attempting to lose weight various ways for well over a decade...and since I'm only 28 that tells ya I've been doing this since I was a teenager. Never have I lost more than 50 pounds...in fact, after thinking about it a bit I'm almost certain that 36 pounds is the most I've ever lost! So I am ready to bust past that like an all-star!

Last winter/spring was when I lost the 36 pounds and I started off really great! I was going to the Y 4-5 times a week, I was doing pretty good on watching my caloric intake and lost 11pounds the first week, and then 5 or 6 the second, and then it was a smaller number each week because I would cheat just a little more each week until finally after about a month and a half I quit going to the gym because what was the point if I couldn't stick to a diet? Not to mention the fact that my right foot had started hurting pretty bad and then it got even worse when I stopped exercising. I later found out that I have Plantar Faciitis (more commonly known as bone spurs) and will be dealing with that until I get a large portion of this weight off. That's actually what made going back to the gym such a struggle.

Tomorrow I head back to work after having the last two days off. I'm nervous! I always have a more difficult time working healthy eating and exercise into my busy work schedule. But let's face it...that's LIFE! I've got to learn to do it! There is no Biggest Loser Ranch here for me to be able to solely concentrate on weight-loss!!

Pray for me!
<3 Honor

Day 1: Yes, I am a copycat, but I'm embracing it!

2011-11-28T08:49:00.000-08:00

I say that I am a copycat because I am doing this blog after being inspired by Sean Anderson's journey in his blog, "The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser". He is a talented man who has a way with words that captivated me from day 1 of reading his blog and today I get to meet him!

My journey starts today because I was chosen to be a participant in my local YMCA's Healthy Living Challenge. Today we have our first weigh-in and will be having an event where Sean Anderson will tell us of his journey to losing more than 250 pounds! I am ecstatic! I plan to use this blog in a similar way that he did...to stay accountable to myself, and to help myself stay motivated. I've never done something on a daily basis, so I won't promise that...but I plan to do my best!!

The Challenge is supposed to last for 16 weeks which is four months. I plan for this to be just the beginning of a long and rewarding journey. My first big goal is for the length of the challenge. I would like to lose 100 pounds by the end of the challenge. That would be 100 in 112 days (April 30, 2012) I know that it would mean some seriously hard work and dedication, which I've never stuck with so I'm not going to give up if I don't reach that because it is a HUGE goal. However, I am a very goal oriented person and am competitive as well, so I do believe that if I put in the work, I can make it happen. I AM SOOOO EXCITED!! The official weigh-in is in two hours and I feel like I'm about to jump out of my skin!!
I'll try to check back in tonight with my official starting weight and BMI, if not, I'll see ya tomorrow!

Ok...first weigh-in is behind me....it was ugly...BUT, that's the ONLY & LAST time I will EVER see that number on a scale!!! E.V.E.R. I can't believe I am about to post this, but my starting weight is (*insert drum-roll here) 350...**GASP!** my scale said 333 last night which was difficult enough...but this? This is SCARY!! My health coach says to be happy about it, because that number is gone...we are leaving it behind. That is EXACTLY what I have in mind---Now I'm headed in to Wal-Mart to buy some healthy food:-) stuff I like though, cuz I'm not turning into a vegetarian, no-carb, crazy health Guru today...just working on a better version of me. Whew...this is gonna get interesting!
I plan to link this to my Facebook...but I just can't do it yet with that number hanging over me...maybe in a few weeks...

The journey to the new me has begun!
<3 Honor :-)