I did my weigh-in Saturday morning! I've just been insanely busy since then, haha. I told my cousin, I think if I had every day off from now through Christmas, I still wouldn't get everything done that I'd like to. And then every night I go home from work thinking of all the things I'm going to get done and then, nada, nope. Hardly anything accomplished. Lol. I have way more energy now than I used to, so I do get more done. I'm just not being very productive with my time!
Ok on to the weigh-in. This week, I hopped on the scale, and she was being my friend. Lol. 343...43 pounds down. I'm already looking forward to getting over that 50 pound hump. I just have to keep chugging along. No matter how slowly it feels. Lol.
I keep comparing this time with last rime and wondering if I'm doing what's best for me. And then I remember that I'm not just doing Keto for weightloss. This way of eating is also really great for PCOS, and I want to get that under control too!
I've been having LOTS of emotions this week. I don't know if it's the holidays, or people being pregnant and having babies that are closer to me, or just me being hormonal, but I went and broke down on one of my besties this week, and my boss (who is also a friend) and my cousin's husnbad who is also my co-worker and friend got to share some of my sappiness too! Haha, I don't think he was too fond of that. :D I'm just dealing with a lot of guilt from previous failed attempts at weightloss. If I had been successful 6 years ago when I started, I could have possibly had a baby by now. I control that. Not the having the baby part, but the getting my body ready to be ABLE to do so. That's 100% in my control and no one else's. And I go through these little mind tricks where I say to myself, I'm already 34, I can share happiness and steal other people's kids when I need my kid-fix, and then I'll be fine. Nope, it's not fine. It will be, if that's what is in the cards, but giving up hope is just not where I'm at right now. I have tried to. Really hard. I feel like it will make it hurt less. But times like these make me really realize how bad the yearning is still there.
Sorry I know I'm rambling. My brain is going in a million directions right now. I'm just trying really hard to stay focused on WHY I need to stay on track and keep that number going down. I get a little cracked up when I see posts that say "Don't focus on the scale" "The scale doesn't matter" I couldn't disagree more. Especially if you are over 100 pounds or so overweight. The scale matters soooo much! Maybe not daily or even weekly, but if you are not dropping weight, then you are doing something wrong. Period. Losing weight really isn't rocket science. The part about what you have to do. It's the motivation and staying strong through cravings that does most people in. And that doesn't go away. Even when I lost 72 pounds, I was still having cravings. Well that's what did me in really. I gave in to too many and it just all spiraled out of control.
My friend Olivia pointed something cool out to be the other day. I am now below what my starting weight was 6 years ago. I hate that I added that much extra, but it is what it is. I'm going the right direction now and that's all that matters. :)
Have a great day y'all! Talk soon.
Xoxo....Honor
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