Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Day 65: Weigh-In Number Nine

This morning was probably the most anticipated weigh-in since the first one. I've been off of the scale more this week, because all of the water bouncing up and down stuff makes me a little crazy. Last week I weighed 300.8, which left me barely missing a couple of my goals! To lose 50 pounds and to be under 300, which just so happen to only be a pound apart! So I get on the scale and....***drum roll please*** beep, beep, beep, beep etc. (hehe that's for you Olivia) beep, beep 299.2!! **Oh yea, it's my birthday, not really, but we're gonna party like its my birthday...** ok enough of my victory song (and dance--you just couldn't see that part, it was pretty silly looking anyways!)!! I am in 2Dur land!! Lol, it doesn't quite have the same ring as 1Dur land, but to my ears it sounded great!!

I texted Cindy, my personal trainer provided by the Y for the Fitness Challenge, and she had to call cuz she was so excited for me!! I love that woman! She's in her late 50's or 60's (I honestly don't remember), but she has the strength and determination of a 20 year old! She is absolutely precious to me, and I haven't even seen her in well over a week because she's been sick:( She may not be able to train with me more than once a week, but she is also the instructor of the Ypump class I go to, and she texts me through the week to see how things are going. She's training three of us for the Challenge and says that I'm the one she worries about the least. I LOVE THAT! I love that my determination is so visible to her! And she's like my own personal little cheerleader. :)

So, I am 1/3 of the way to 1dur Land and I'm stoked!! I know I can do it!! And the never failing support of family and friends makes the journey do much MORE to me! I spoke with a woman last night who has victoriously overcome obesity, but not in the same euphoric state that I have been able to work in. She had her own daughter hindering her progress, and I'm sure other people deal with similar issues and I am SO THANKFUL for each and every one of you who support me day in and day out! I write this blog for me. And to be accountable to me. And to help anyone who might learn anything at all from my journey... I now know of TWO FRIENDS that have decided to choose change, and I think they are wonderful, beautiful women now, I can't imagine what this journey to a lifelong transformation will do to them! Olivia and Vickie, I literally have tears in my eyes right now thinking of how my soul baring honesty in this blog has touched both of them in their own unique way and encouraged and inspired them to choose a path that leads to a happier, healthier quality of life. I sincerely wish you both tremendous success!! Olivia is well on her way already having lost more than twenty pounds!! And I know Vickie is well on her way too!! I would love to hear of anyone else who had decided to make a change! I track my daily caloric intake using www.myfitnesspal.com and I would be happy to receive a friend request from you (username is honorwarren) and if you're not already my friend on Facebook please add me! You can use my e-mail to find me at honorwarren@yahoo.com, and be sure to add a personal message telling me that you've read my blog that way I know who you are :-)

I can't believe how far this journey has already brought me in such a short amount of time!! And I can't wait to see what I learn while losing the NEXT 50 pounds!!

Thanks for coming on my journey with me :-)
<3 Honor

Monday, January 30, 2012

Day 64: Hand-to-Mouth Disease and Overeating

Today has been a fast day so far...I've been at work. I love it when my work day speeds by! That just makes me a happy girl. But even though it's already after 5, I have quite a bit of things left to do on my 'To Do List' for the day. Most important of all, I have to work out! The first week of the Ironman Challenge is over and we are headed into the second week. In Week one I completed 70 of the 85 required swimming laps, 10 of the required 26.2 walking/running laps, and 54 of the 112 cycling miles. If I do as well this week, I really think I'll finish! The cycling has been hard on my tooshy, which I've already shared, but I think the walking is the hardest physically. My feet are so jacked up! And I sincerely pray that, as the weight comes off, I find relief with my feet. I love the idea of being a runner and completing 5k's or maybe even a 10k or more! But with my feet the way they are now...that will most likely never happen. The crazy thing about this Ironman thing is that I honestly feel like I'm slacking on my workouts! I know that it's really mostly because Zumba burns a TON of calories and walking and spinning don't. But I feel like I'm actually pushing my body HARDER with less results! And that just stinks! So yea, I'm ready to be done with this and get back to my way of things. :)

My eating choices are what I believe got me to 350 pounds. I don't Quite understand it because I wasn't lazy and I have NEVER been a binge eater. It's like I just naturally had a low metabolism from the get go and that just did me in. I am 100% aware that I was never a healthy eater. In the other hand, on an average day I also didn't consume 5000 calories. And I haven't been sedentary my whole life. So finding the real answer as to why I became obese in the first place, may never be a real reality for me. However, I do know that I have eaten a whole lot of garbage in my lifetime. I love pizza and burritos and almost anything sweet along with a ton of other things that are made out of junk. But I never stopped at the drive thru and had a burger on my way home to dinner, I never ate a whole large pizza by myself None of those sad stories you hear apply to me. The truth of the matter is that most likely one of the only reasons I'm overweight as an adult is because I am addicted to sweet and salty processed food. But it's not just that, I can sit and over eat on almonds or Sun chips or something that's 'healthy' that I enjoy too. It doesn't matter if it's healthy, you still can't over eat! But I want to. I'm a muncher. I like to 'snack'. It got worse after I quit smoking almost two year ago. I was used to my 'hand to mouth' being busy with a cigarette. So long after the cravings for nicotine faded away, I still had this Issue with feeling like something was missing. I still had hand-to-mouth disease!

Pre-portioned snacks and meals are key for me. Otherwise, I will over eat, long after my body signals that it's not hungry anymore. Even as I sat here writing this blog entry I was eating Almonds out of a bag, instead of taking the time out to pre count them, and I probably ate two servings! That's how bad I am! But at least it was almonds and not something else!! Haha

Thanks for keeping up with me :) The messages I get humble me. I can't believe that silly old Honor could ever inspire someone. I feel like I still have so much growth to do mentally and so much shrinking to do physically ;) but I'll get there! Day 64 is soon to be history and Day 65 is on its way!

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Day 63: The Look

Do you wanna know something that really bothers me? Well I'm going to tell ya! I absolutely hate when people give me the look (you know, scan me from head to toe) and then make that Face...that one that says to me that they think I'm disgusting, or how did I let myself get that way, or whatever. I hear those comments in my head, because I've heard them verbalized before. And they sting as bad as a jagged knife to me. I am fully aware that not all people think that when they look at me, but I am also aware that some people just can't help themselves. You know, I have a little bit of an issue with 'The Look' myself, whenever I see someone who can't walk in the grocery store because they are so obese that their body just can't handle it. And any time I find myself falling into that judgmental cycle I give myself a swift mental kick! How dare me?! The one thing that hurts me the most and without much thought at all, I can turn around and do EXACTLY the same thing! So I definitely can't hold it against someone else for doing the same thing. We are HUMAN. But it still hurts! And it's so crazy to me that I have accomplished so much in such a short amount of time. I mean really? 49 pounds in 8 weeks is something very few people can do. But I did it! Me! I'm not special...I didn't do any kind of miracle cure-all or follow some kind of special diet...no, I've used my own wisdom and knowledge that I have gained about weight-loss, the success of others around me, & SHEER DETERMINATION. But the fact that remains is the part that is the hardest. And the part that makes my every day life a challenge and that is the fact that I'm still Morbidly Obese. And I still hate that phrase more than ever. 49 pounds is great. A hundred will be better...and 175-200 pounds lost and I won't be complaining...but I still have a long road ahead of me. But it's a road that is becoming more and more familiar. After 63 days, I'm getting to know this new road, and although it may be far from easy, and most days My first thought might be to take a detour! But this is my journey, and it's up to me to decide how the trip will go. And I just plan to make it as smooth as possible. :) It IS possible. 49 pounds ago I believed it was possible, and at this point I think I've proved that! I just have to continue improving. And hopefully, someday, instead of looking in the mirror and wondering what I'm supposed to look like, I'll look in the mirror and see who I am.

I spend a lot of time saying that I'm working on eating healthy and exercising, but the truth is that I DO eat healthy and exercise. That's just me now. It's been more than two months and that is what my life consists of...

After this healthy living challenge I won't spend as much time in the gym. That does not mean, by any means, that I will quit working out or living my life the way I have been. That just means that I have a TON of things that I have let go in my home over the past few months that are going to HAVE to get done. Spring cleaning could be the term I use. :) but that stuff is going to wait until mid-March when hopefully, HOPEFULLY, I will report that the sacrifices were all worth it and I had won the challenge. That's the plan. We shall see if that is the outcome. But the fact of it all is that I want to be able to say that even if I don't win the challenge, I gave 100% towards doing my best! And that's really all that matters.

Thanks for tuning in today! Have a great Sunday and an even better week this week!
<3 Honor

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Day 62: More Salt Please!

I realized that yesterday I said that I started with eating under 1500 calories and working out as often as I could, but I never followed up with the changes I've made along the way. In the beginning, I wasn't really concerned at all about what I ate. I was more concerned with eating under 1500 calories a day and not eating out anywhere except for Subway. I have a big problem with eating out. And I like to eat stuff that is terrible for you. So I stayed away for the first few weeks completely and now I try to only eat out once a week.

So that philosophy worked really well for me for the first few weeks. And then my weightloss slowed down DRAMATICALLY. So I had made a deal with myself, that I would continue doing what worked, until it didn't...and then I'd make the necessary changes. I slowly started eating healthier foods and at this point I'm having to eat pretty stinking healthy most of the time to see continued results. And I MUST see results. It is imperative to my success. Even if it's only a part of a pound. I know that your body fluctuates and that's ok, but if a few days go by with nothing...then I go into freak out mode until I see a difference. I want you to know, that on occasion, I still eat garbage. (That's what I call processed unhealthy food) but I have to be EXTREMELY careful! Because that stuff that I used to eat daily without really much thought at all...those foods taste even BETTER now that I rarely eat them. My two things that I give in on occasionally are Cooler Ranch Doritos, and Three Musketeers Bars. A big bag of the Doritos is 300 cal and it's somewhere around that for the candy bar too. So I can work it in to my calories and not kill my calorie intake for the day.

Something that is really hurting me right now is Sodium. I've had to really cut back because my body is using it to retain water and it has been UGLY the past few weeks! But hopefully I've survived that for now. And let me tell ya...I love salt! I love foods that are salty and I like to add to much salt to things. I actually bought some 1/2 salt that has half the sodium (hence the name) to help me cut back, but I think I use twice as much of that stuff! But I am doing a really good job at cutting back in the sodium most of the time. Today...not so much!

Have a good night!!
<3 Honor

Friday, January 27, 2012

Day 61: Honor Speechless...oh yea!

I was speechless this morning...which is very VERY seldom. When I wake up in the mornings, out of habit, I always check my phone. It's my link to the world, and I'm nosey. So I wanted to see what was going on. When I pulled up my Facebook notifications there it is. Sean Anderson (my main source of inspiration) tagged you in a post. What? He talked about me? Ooooh what did he say!! So, with excitement I clicked the link. He was congratulating me on making it to my 60 day mark!! Wow. He is very likely the busiest person I know, and he not only noticed that it was my 60th day, but he took time to congratulate me AND post a link to MY blog on his wall!! Yea...I'm start struck. :) he's an AMAZING author with an awesome story and he is keeping up with my journey! TALK ABOUT PRESSURE!! Haha!! I'm just kidding...but I do love it! It's just tht much more motivation that I can pull from on a down day or when that stupid scale and I are in a fight.

So, I gladly welcome my new readers. I hope you'll take some time to skim through my journey up to this point. I am, by no means, as phenomenal a writer as Sean. But I put my heart and soul out here for my blog to primarily keep myself accountable, but also to help anyone who can identify with my journey or learn anything from it.

As some of you know, I'm in a fitness challenge at my local YMCA that still has six and a half weeks left. I'm trying very hard to WIN! That's the plan. I started out with just eating under 1500 calories a day and working out as much as I thought I could handle and still be able to make it through my day. I work full-time as a photographer and then make cakes and do photography on the side. So I'm a pretty busy Chica. I Kind of feel like I'm proving that even if you do have a very busy lifestyle, you can still make time to take care of yourself along with the rest of your responsibilities. It is, by far, not easy. And I actually take quite a bit of grief from some of my friends and family from not having time to go visit with them or hang out. But, the truth is, this is probably the most important thing in my life right now. And if I don't get my obesity under control now...well things could get really stinkin ugly. I've been extremely blessed so far, to have not had to deal with a lot of obesity related health concerns. So I am not trying to take that for granted any more!

The Ironman Challenge may kill me, or at least my poor sore toosh from all the spinning. But I know if I complete this, I will FEEL like an Ironman. :) so far, today is the 5th day f the Ironman Challenge and in that length of time I have walked/jogged 10 out of the 26.3 required, biked 38 out of the 112 required, and swam 60 laps out of the 85 required! And I have 9 days left. The bike/spinning is the hardest because I am sooooo not used to those tiny seats!! And it's hurting me pretty bad! But I'm fully confident in the rest of it. The walking/jogging is a challenge because of the Plantar Faciitis I have in both feet, but it has actually not been as bad as I thought it would be!!

Thanks for reading and thanks for your support!!
<3 Honor

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Day 60: Two months going on Forever!

Well...two months of healthy living are in the bag!! I would say that I can't believe it, but I can! I've worked really hard and for the most part I've busted some tail to get here. It's so nice to hear people tell me they are proud of me, but for once in my life I'm actually proud of myself!! I wonder what the NEXT sixty days will bring...it could Definitely get interesting!

So today is the fourth out of fourteen days of the ironman challenge. My tooshy is so feeling it!! I thought I was NEVER going to get anywhere with that darn bike tonight! But somehow, I got in 14 miles! Whew!! And I am EXHAUSTED for it too!! As a matter of a fact, I have been home at least twenty minutes and am in my car and can't muster up the energy to go in!! Plus, my feet are really killing me. I think I could go in and seriously go straight to bed!! That's not good! I need my dinner!

Today was a pretty good day. It honestly went by so fast I can't believe it has been a whole day already! I worked a short shift today, and then I visited with miss Ariel, while I ate lunch, and then I came to the gym. Tomorrow will be a MUCH longer day! I have to work ten hours AND find the time to go to the gym!
Good night all. I'm exhausted and I just have to get my booty in the house!!

<3 Honor

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Day 59: Slow Day

Whew today has been a LAZY day! I'm pretty sure I haven't done anything constructive today besides filing my taxes! but I have busted my tooshy for the past few days and I am extremely sore! So it's back to the grind stone tomorrow.

I forgot to share my mom's results yesterday. She lost another 3 pounds! I'm so proud if her!

Sorry so short tonight, but I've still got more to do tonight before bed!
<3 Honor

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Day 58: Weigh-in Number Eight

So today was the day I would get on that scale and see if my body finally let go of all of that water she's been holding on to. I really felt like I should be down at least a little because I have been running to the bathroom every thirty minutes for the past two days! So I get on the scale and it's the moment of truth....I looked down and thought I saw 306.8 which is exactly what I weighed two weeks ago...but then I look a little closer...no...that 6 is a 0!! I weigh 300.8 pounds!!! That, my friends, is a 6 pound loss this week for a total of 49.2 pounds!! I'm only 0.8 from hitting the 50 pounds lost mark and only 1.8 from getting below 300!!!!! And I'm elated!! It makes me want to work even harder this week to reach my goals!! But I worked HARD last week! And I know it will be hard to lose much this week, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try!

The first day of the Ironman competition went quite well, in my opinion. I did 2 miles walking, 12 miles on the bike, and 25 laps in the pool. I'm sore, but I'm satisfied with that. I don't know how much I'm going to get done today because I'm getting a late start and may have to go to Cape later, but I'm going to make some progress!! I'm really feeling like I might be able to DO this!

I just can't WAIT to see this weight melt off! It will definitely be worth it!! I know that the work doesn't stop when you reach your goal, but it changes. I'm just so excited to see what the future brings. I know I will have ups and downs. And although, I wish I could skip the downs, they are part of what gets me to where I'm going. And with the bad stuff I will be stronger are more determined to KEEP the weight off!

Thanks for Reading :-)
<3 Honor

Monday, January 23, 2012

Day 57: My journey TO obesity...

I've been thinking about how I got overweight, and of course it didn't happen over night. I was born with 'child-bearing' hips so my posterior has been a downfall for most of my life. I have a memory of being in Walmart with my mom, trying to pick out a new outfit for school and we went to the little girls section (because I was a little girl) to get me a dress. Yea, my mom made us wear dresses and skirts to school when we were younger. So anyways, we go to the section that we always did to pick out something and mom finds a dress she really likes so we grab a large and go to the dressing room. It doesn't fit. So she leaves me there and goes to grab the extra large. Still no luck. So with pain in her voice, she says, "I guess we're going to have to shop for you in the women's section". All I could remember thinking was, "I'm not a woman, why don't they make girls clothes in my size?" I knew I was 'chunky' but was it that big of a deal? I didn't really start putting on the weight until 3rd grade. And by 5th grade I was the biggest kid in class. I don't really remember a lot of bullying at all, until 5th grade. In fact, I only remember one and he was in 3rd grade and I had a crush on him, so it broke my heart that he started being mean to me!

In 5th grade we had moved to a new school district and I had made friends with a neighbor who just so happened to be in my class and was one of the popular kids. I wasn't popular though. But because of her, most of the time things were just fine. But the boys were evil. And they didn't care who your friends were. So one boy made up this nickname that just broke my heart. I HATED IT. And they taunted me for the rest of 5th grade and half of 6th grade, until my mom met my step-dad and they got married over Christmas break. So we moved to Bloomfield. A nice fresh start.

I don't know what went wrong when I got to Bloomfield, but it was like those kids already knew I wasn't cool. I made a few friends and things were ok most of the time. But, of course, there were a few boys that had to pick on me. I think I let a few kids make me think that everyone was against me so I didn't even try. I thought I was sooo much bigger than all the other kids and that's why try didn't like me. But looking back at pictures, it was true that I was bigger, but I wasn't THAT much bigger. It wasn't really until high school that I actually became obese. And when I graduated I was around 210 pounds. That just doesn't seem like its to bad looking at it from over 300 pounds! I really wish, at that point, someone would have given me a dose of reality, or a look at my future...SOMETHING to keep me from gaining ANOTHERh 140 pounds! It is just crazy for me to remember being in high school and feeling how I actually look now. Bigger than anyone else in school. I wasn't. But I felt like I was. I was overweight, but not 300 pounds. Now I am...a little more than that actually...and is a decade later.

I am so glad that I made the decision to get this under control now, instead of waiting until I had a pile of health problems. It could be a whole lot worse. So at least I am doing it!

I have a lot of work to do for the Ironman competition which starts today. I really, really want to finish it in the two weeks. So I'm going to give it 100% and see what happens!!

Thanks for being there!
<3 Honor

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Day 56:

Being sick + working=BOO! It is so hard for me to find the energy to work out when I feel miserable! Even working 9 hours today was difficult and now I'm at the gym with my mom trying to squeeze out every bit of energy I can find to get in a workout. And my favorite machine at this gym is BROKEN! Argh!! The stupid scale is still being evil, ok it's actually by body that's being evil, but anyways...so with that added to being sick, this just hasn't been an easy day. But I'm ok! Because I'm still doing my part in this journey, and I know that my unwavering faith in God and my body is going to pay off. It has to! I just really wish my body wouldn't fight back so HARD!

Through this journey I have really found that my food addiction issues are much worse than I initially thought. I used to say things like, "I don't eat a lot or binge eat, so I don't understand why I'm fat" or "Obesity runs in my family, so I'm just screwed" well that's NOT true!! I'm a compulsive eater with INTENSIVE craving issues! I also haves leaned toward other eating disorders my whole life...somehow staying in that gray area so no one really every noticed. I watch the Biggest Loser a Lot and they are always talking about why they got fat or what caused them to eat...blah, blah, blah. That's the way I've always thought of it. Why make an issue of something that's not anything besides eating to much of the wrong stuff? Well there's ALWAYS more to the story...ok, maybe not always, but almost always. I don't know for sure what all my problem with food is, other than just good old comfort. But I know there's 'more to the story'. I've felt with stuff in my lifetime. Not worse than anyone else, because no ones life is perfect, and I think most of my issues come from within, and the fact that I have a seriously addictive personally paired with O. C. D. That just can't be a good combination! But I will get it all figured out...and when I do, I'll be better for it.

Sleep tight!
<3 Honor

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Day 55:Veggie-tells

I think I may throw my scale away! Ok maybe not that drastic, but as soon as I start thinking I'm making a little lead way and the scale starts going down like it should be, it shoots straight up again. Three pounds! And yesterday I ate 1439 calories worth of healthy food and got in 25 minutes of Cardio after working for 10 hours...so needless to say, that's obviously some sort of strange mess going on inside of my body and it's making me CRAZY!! I would not be as miffed about this if it weren't for the fact that I'm in the competition and these kind of set backs are going to be what causes me to lose. I WAS IN THE LEAD! So that's what has me so upset about it. I KNOW I'M DOING THE RIGHT THING! And I know that the number WILL drop. I just don't have time to wait for my body to agree with me! And I'm still super sore or I would probably be doing jumping jacks at work! Haha.

Ok, I'm done throwing my little fit. It's just irritating. For the first time in my life I'm doing Exactly what it takes to get the weight off and my body is being stupid.

On another note, I have been working really hard with cooking stuff up ahead of time, and pre-packaging things and such and I just keep coming up with new ideas of things I can pre-cook and package away. The thing about it is that it really DOES save time. Now I just need to work on finding some new things that I like so I can add some more variety to my food. I've been doing good on fruits. Vegetables and me, we have a history of issues. I like Broccoli, Carrots, and canned green beans. The only way I can get some variety in the vegetable department is with a salad (but I cannot stand light or fat free ranch) or Stir-Fry. So the plan is to try some veggies that are super good for you that I haven't tried in a while. So...I bought creamed spinach! I'm terrified! Lol. But, it was only a dollar, so if it's gross I'm not going to break the bank. I did find out last year that I like fresh spinach on my sandwich and I love 'florentine' things like pasta Florentine Alfredo that's yummy! So maybe I will like it! I even like cooked spinach on pizza! So we will see. I just can't do peas, and turnip greens, and cabbage (Bleh!!) I wish I could force myself to eat that stuff, but my gag reflex is in really good tune with my brain, so if my taste buds don't like it....I just can't eat it.

I'm also on the lookout for some new main course options. Right now I mostly eat Stir-Fry with chicken, Doc's Chili, Chicken and Rice, or Taco Salad. That's my four dinners. And although I still enjoy eating those, I'm scared I'll get burnt out. I do occasionally make me some healthy mini pizza's on pita bread or a few other things but I always go back to those four meals for two reasons...I like them and they are meals I can pre-make and pre-portion and then warm up and eat later in the week. So I am on the search for some alternative meals that I can do the pre-cooking thing with. It's so important to me because with my work schedule, my workout schedule, and making cakes, I just don't have the time or the energy to spend in the kitchen every night!

Wow, I had a lot to say today! :-) Enjoy your weekend! I'll be at work!
<3 Honor

Friday, January 20, 2012

Day 54: Little Devil On My Shoulder

Because of my little disagreement with the scale last week, I've really buckled down on my eating. Mostly trying make as healthy of decisions as possible and trying to keep my sodium intake down too. What I have learned...is that you an eat a TON of healthy food for 1500 calories! I am seriously stuffed all day long! Actually I've been having issues with eating enough to get my calories in. And I have to be VERY careful with that because I have a sneaky little brain! Whenever I look and see that I have a lot of extra calories left my brain starts going, "oh, we can have that 3 Musketeers bar today, we have plenty of calories" or "let's go ahead and get a buzzard at DQ!" NOOOOOOOOOO! Yea...that's not my brain! That's the devil on my shoulder trying to ruin this for me! So, I flick him off of my shoulder and go home to eat something healthy. That's just the way I roll these days! And the scale is starting to agree with me again! I'm really excited about that!

After my four hour workout the day before yesterday I woke up pretty sore yesterday. So when I went to my regular Ypump and Zumba last night, I really thought that I might be able to work out some of the soreness and start feeling a little better. NOPE! I'm still sore as crazy! I think that's the part that stinks the most about pushing yourself. Because, on one hand, I love the soreness! I know that it means I'm doing something right and my muscles are growing from it! But on the other hand, I don't like pain! Most people don't. And it makes working out quite difficult when you already hurt!

I'm having to overcome quite a few aches and pains during this process. My right knee started bothering me a few months before I started this journey, and then of course I've had the plantar Faciitis in my right foot. Now I have it in my left foot, and am having some issues with the right side of my hip. I hate that...because all of those aches and pains make it easier to give in to my whining body and 'skip' a workout or not do it with as much intensity, and that's just not going to work for me!! I HAVE to get this weight off! And even though I would love to be able to lose a pound every day, my body just isn't about to let me do that! So I'll keep on chugging along and doing my best, and that's something I can be proud of!

Thanks for Reading!!
<3 Honor

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Day 53:Beware of Sabotage!

Sabotage: a deliberate act of destruction or disruption. Ok, maybe it's not that serious, but close in my eyes!! And the culprit is my husband! What he does, I'm sure is not deliberate...but he is DEFINITELY causing disruption! I am weak. I have an addiction that is insanely hard to overcome...and he goes and puts a pizza in the oven! What?!?! Pizza! That tomatoey, cheesy, meaty goodness that I have been craving! I satiate that craving a little by having alternatives, like a little Lean Cuisine Pizza or something like that. But it's not the same. And I know it's not the same. So that delicious aroma of cooking, greasy heaven is TORTURE!! The LEAST he could do is, when I ask for a bitty tiny piece, tell me NO!! But did he...nope. He gave me a piece. (this all happened a few days ago...I just thought I would share)

I told you that I burned 3300 calories yesterday...I got on the scale and BAM I lost a pound! Woot, woot. Haha I'm so excited! But I must say...even if I didn't work, of it takes THAT much work to lose a pound a day it wouldn't be happening! I was so sore this morning I could barely walk! So I took me some ibruprofen, and that definitely helped ease the soreness a bit.

I have these two long mirrors in my bedroom and I decided to take one and turn it in to my goal mirror. So I wrote down a whole bunch of goals and plan to mark off each and every one!

Have a good night!
<3 Honor

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Day 52: Wowzers!!!

Today has been a GOOD day:-) I survived 4 hours at the gym! And burnt nearly a pound!! A pound is 3500 calories for those of you that aren't Biggest Loser buffs :) And I burnt 3300!! I almost felt tempted to hop on the elipticle until I burnt the last 200, but I just couldn't do it... I am super proud of myself though!!

The beginning of my workout, Cindy, my trainer, had us walking laps. I'm always terrified of walking because if my plantar fasciitis. But I did it. Two laps at a moderate pace, two laps speed walking, and two laps jogging. Yep I said it. Jogging. ME....jogging!!!! And I did that 6 lap set twice!! And then we walked 5 or 6 more laps... Then she got me on the Arc Trainer for 30 minutes, and then I did two full hours of Zumba. That last 30 minutes I thought I would really be sick. But I pushed through and survived it!!

I'm ending my night with a nice meal at Subway, because I had to many calories left so I'm having me some yummy Sun chips with a turkey sub and I actually got cheese this time (which I NEVER do, because I can swear that you can't taste it with everything else) and even though I've eaten two 200 calorie bags of mixed nuts an eaten really well all day...I still ended up just under 1500 calories! Wow. So now that I'm stuffed...I'm going grocery shopping. Haha...it's the best way to do it!!

Thanks for your support and encouragement!!
<3 Honor

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Day 51: Weigh-in Number 7

Well, I got the exact result I expected this morning. I hadn't gotten rid of all of the water weight yet. I could tell...my ankles are still tender and my body just aches a bit. So weight-loss for the week is a big fat Zero. But that's ok. I know that I worked out and stayed within my calorie budget and that's what matters. I did not really gain weight. I just have water on me that I'm going to send to the devil! Haha.

I do however have some other news to report. Wonderful news! I mentioned last week that my mom had joined a gym and added me into her membership. I've gone with her twice and plan to go with her twice a week. So she started going a week ago and went three times this past week. We've been talking a lot about Calories and how maybe she was consuming some hidden calories (like oil and butter that she didn't think of) that were keeping her were she is. She has lost some weight already, but still has a ways to go.

Well...she weighed this morning...and lost 3 pounds this week! Yay mom!!! I'm so proud of her. She has struggled with diet and exercise for as long as I can remember and I'm super excited about her staying in track and trying to make a difference.

So now I'm super tired and still have to go work out with her as promised! I burned 1600 calories at the gym today so let's see where we end up!

Thanks for reading
<3 Honor

Monday, January 16, 2012

Day 50: Water water water BOO!

The scale was still acting stupid this morning so I took a water pill. I'm thinking maybe that was what was up with my ankles the other day too! I just can't believe it's so MUCH. I know the math, so I know that I'm not REALLY gaining weight because my Basil Metabolic Rate is a little over 2000. That's how many calories I would burn of I just laid in bed all day. So as long as I stay under 2000 there is no way I could actually gain. Plus you factor in that I work 8-9 hours a day as well as doing various other things around the house and workout no less than 5 times per week...I should be losing 3-5 pounds a week. But because I have PCOS, I don't lose at the rate I should. But I should still be Losing! So, I'm going to chalk it up to water weight and quit stressing. The problem with that is that I am uncomfortable and tired with the excess water On my body and that makes me want to be lazy! I went to workout with my mom last night, and I just couldn't get my body to cooperate! I felt drained and exhausted! I hate that feeling! I'm feeling a little better today and am hoping to get a very good burn in at the gym tonight.

I have been getting cake orders out the wazoo the past week or so! In Feb and March I already have 5 cake orders! With me having a full time job, plus putting working out at the top of my priorities AND doing cakes...I am going to be BUSY! I absolutely cannot fathom how parents take care of everything and still find time to spend with their kids! I'm pretty sure that if I ever have a kiddo I am going to have to get rid of all of my animals or they will starve!

I cannot believe it is Day 50 already! The fitness challenge is already almost half way over! And in a little over a week I will be starting the Ironman challenge at the gym. I don't know if I've blogged about it yet, but it will be two weeks long and I will be trying to complete an enormous task. The way I broke it down was evenly divided into the 14 days I would have to walk 2 miles a day, cycle 8.5 miles a day, and do 8 laps in the pool. I think that's right. I'm not doing it to try to win. I'm doing in to try to complete it! I think I can! If not I sure can say I tried! I'm really pretty excited about it and can't wait to get started!

<3 Honor

Sunday, January 15, 2012


I have been completely honest about the fact that I am an every day weigher...I probably always would even when I'm wasn't 'dieting' if the scale ever said something nice to me. I used to get on after avoiding for a few months and just hope I had lost weight for some unknown reason. It never happened. But I always hoped. Ever since Wednesday of last week I have not seen ANYTHING I want from that darn scale. I didn't weigh one morning and then the next day it said I had GAINED 2 pounds...what? That's not possible! I didn't cheat! So I get on every morning and it says the SAME thing! So yea...now I'm ticked! A plateau is when your weight loss stops...not goes up!

I do, however, have a plan. My sister read somewhere that when you are having issues you can have a really high calorie day (like 2500 cals) followed by a really low one (like 1000 cals) so that's what I'm doing. I did probably 2400-2500 yesterday, an as long as I don't screw up today, I will be right at 1000. Whew...this is stressing me out!

I NEED to keep seeing smaller numbers on that scale...I just can't handle it not moving or going up! I'm in a fragile state! Lol that just sounded dumb, but it really is kindof true! The past few weeks have been getting increasingly difficult for me...I don't like 2 pounds a week. I want 5-7, and I don't have enough time (or energy) to workout as much as it would take to reach that...so I keep trudging along...

I promise I'm ok...I just really have to figure this out!

Tonight after work I get to go workout with my momma, so that will be fun. ! I like getting to share this with her and encourage her. After all, most of my bad habits were taught to me by her...and she really honestly just doesn't know how to do better. That is, besides what she has learned from Dr. Oz.! If he says it, she Believes it! But she doesn't really recognize the severity of her food addiction. So I want to help her. :) helping other people helps me! So it's a win/win!

Have an awesome day friends!
<3 Honor

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Day 48: BA-Da-Bing!

For those of you that have been reading for a while you might remember a really weird goal that I have. Which is to lose enough inches round my waist so that I can measure them with one measuring tape.

I'm almost there!! It's really hard for me to stretch out a measuring tape and realize that I am literally that big around! But slowly...like a turtle, I'm getting there!

Last week when I weighed in I was about a half of an inch away from having that measuring tape touch!! I'm so excited about it! I fully expect to have this goal in the bag really soon! Making little goals like that may seem silly to some people, but for me having a bunch of small goals keep me going! So I have two goals that I'm getting close to: dropping that three off the front of my number, and getting it down to one measuring tape...I'm READY! I can't wait to get started in my next goals!

My next set of goals are getting under 275 and to lose a foot. I'm sure that last one doesn't make any sense, but in Honor World it does!! I want to lose 12 inches. That's a combined total of the different areas I measure: neck, bust, waist, & hips. The inches come off even slower that the weight, but it's really nice when the scale isn't doing much for ya and you measure yourself and then BA-Da-BING! You lost some inches!!

Good night!
<3 Honor

Friday, January 13, 2012

Day 47: My new motto

My new motto is: Cook when your in the mood so ya don't have to when your NOT in the mood. I love it! I decided a few days ago that I needed pre-cook some different foods that I like and pre-portion them into servings and freeze them. So that way when I come home from a long tiring day and I'm ready to grab some take out on the way or eat something that isn't good for me, I'll have these meals all done up and ready to be consumed!

I made a pot of my healthy chili (only 162 calories per serving), some Taco meat (for taco salads), and four batches of Stir-Fry. I love me some stir-fry! I buy the Bird's Eye Oriental kind (in the frozen section at Wal-Mart) and I LOOOOOVE it. It has all kinds of vegetables on it that I would never eat alone, but when it's all mixed in together and with the sauce it's sooo tasty! And only 50 calories a cup!! You just can't beat that! So I have it with a serving of boneless skinless chicken tenderloin diced up and a 1/2 cup of brown rice. Mmmm-nom-nom...yea I'm so having that for dinner again!

Today was a pretty good day again... Work was not busy as far as shooting, but I got the pleasure of taking some pics of a musician (one of my associate's husband) for his album cover and had a good visit and got to listen to some live music for awhile! So that was a really neat few hours of my day!

Today is a no workout day and I hate that! But ten hours of work after being off for my vacation is just all I can do today. I could go in and go to sleep right now. Literally. And I've only been up for a little over 12 hours!! I am very fortunate to not have sleep apnea or anything like that. In fact, I would be very happy with 10 hours of sleep a night. I'm really hoping that as I get more and more fit that I will be able to sleep for 7 or 8 hours and not feel like I'm getting jipped! That would be so great!!

Thanks for reading! You are amazing!! Remember, Every day when you wake up you have 100% control over how your day is going to go despite the circumstances! Make tomorrow a GREAT day, and I'll join you! People tend to let one 15 minute encounter with a cranky or inconsiderate person ruin their day. Why? Let it roll off and move on with your Great day and don't let them spoil it! God is amazing! You are amazing! And I'M getting healthy and fit!-with both God's help AND yours. :-) So thanks!
<3 Honor

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Day 46: My Ah-HA! moment :)

On my way in to work today I had an "Ah-HA!" moment. Time for confessions...I put on my make-up on my way to work almost every day. There....I said it. Don't be mad at me ;) I'm actually quite good at it. I've done it for so long that I barely look away from the road while putting it on. Honestly I'm sure I look away from the road more when I have a companion in the car than I do while applying my make-up. But anyways...my Ah-HA moment happened today while applying my make-up because while I was on vacation I only wore make-up two or three times (and it was two and a half weeks) and I put it on in the house. So I haven't looked at myself in the rear-view mirror in that length of time. So I pull my mirror down to put on my make-up and this morning and there it was...Ah-HA!! My face really IS starting to slim up! Lol! People have been telling me that for a few weeks now, and it's not that I didn't believe...I jut couldn't see it...and I SAW today. It was a really nice vanity boost for the day!

The entire duration of my vacation I struggled to drink the amount of water that I know my body needs for weight-loss. I'm not sure why I had the trouble, but I sure did! Before my vacation I was averaging 10-12 8oz cups a day! Which is still a little less than my body needs for the weight that I'm at. The way you're supposed to figure how much water you should consume in a day is to take your total weight (306 for me) and divide it in half (306/3=153) and that's how many ounces of water you should drink per day. The easy way to figure how many cups that is, is to take that number (153), and divide by 8oz. (153/8=19.125) so my body should be getting 19-8oz glasses of water a day!! I just can't drink that much! So I strive for 12, and usually do ok with that. However, on my vacation I was lucky to reach 6-8 per day!! It was so hard! So now that I'm back to work I've already had 10 and I still have some time to do even better! So I just thought it was crazy that I struggled so badly at home, but found it easy at work. Weird!

I went to the gym after work and when I was changing in to my workout clothes I discovered something that really made me sad. For the past three or four years I have been dealing with fluid retention in my ankles that has worsened over time and is quite painful. But since day one of this journey I've had absolutely no swelling. But when I changed clothes I noticed both of my ankles were swollen really badly. Well crap. There goes my streak! I can't figure out why it happened either...no extra sodium, no prolonged standing...I worked on a cake last week for nearly 6 hours straight of standing and no swelling, so the idea of it possibly being because I returned to work doesn't make since because I wasn't on my feet all day. I don't know, but I DO know that I don't like it!

Here it is, almost 9:00, and I'm just now getting home to have dinner! I can't help it though...I get off at 7 and I just went and did 35 minutes on the Elipticle tonight. ThatH's it. And now I'm having dinner late. I just can't think of any other way I can adjust my schedule so that it works out differently. But I'm defIinitely hungry so good night!

<3 Honor

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Day 45: Mixed feelings

Okay, so I go back to work tomorrow and I can't decide how I feel about it. Part of me is really excited to go back to work because I do love my job most of the time. But, I've always really wanted to be a stay at home wife. To be able to do photography as a side job, and make cakes as a side job. But, we just aren't financially stable enough for me to take such a big risk at this time. I'm also apprehensive about changing my workout schedule. Over the past 2 1/2 weeks I've been able to pretty much go to the gym as often as I want to. I don't have to get up early, and I don't have to stay late after work and have a late dinner. I guess that's the part that I'm sad about the most. The way my regional director has the managers working hours, I'm going to be working all whole lot more than I was before Christmas. And also, since I lost my Arial, she was full-time and now I don't have a full-timer to work around. Which means I'm going to be expected to work more hours. I say boo on that! I just gotten very comfortable with the way the studio has been going for the past few years and change is not good for on Honor!

I had another great night at the gym tonight! I did an hour of strength training, and then 90 minutes of Zumba! which had me leaving almost 2200 calories at the gym! Woohoo!! I absolutely love the fact that I am able to push myself hard enough to do 2 1/2 hours of constant working out in one visit to the gym. That, in its self, proves to me how far I have come in the past 45 days! I love it!

Thanks for reading my friends! I love you all!
<3 Honor

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Day 44: Weigh-In Number Six!

Today marks six weeks that I have been on this journey. I feel stronger than ever! It has been far from easy, but I've survived it! I could put the six weeks under a microscope and tell you probably a hundred different times I could have made a smarter or healthier decision. I have been far from perfect! I've missed some workouts, I've eaten things that I knew dang good and well I shouldn't be eating, but one thing has been different that I always screwed up previously. I haven't given up! In previous attempts at weight-loss, if I would 'cheat' and have a candy bar or a small piece of cake I would convince myself that I had screwed up my diet that day so I might as well go ahead and grab some fast food for dinner and hey while we're at lets get a blizzard too! I'll try again tomorrow....and then tomorrow never came...I would wake up the next morning and just completely abandon the plan. So THAT'S what has been different this time.

One night, maybe a week ago, I was sitting in my chair watching The Biggest Loser (you'll see the irony in that in a sec), and I glance at the end table and spot a little Rubbermaid tub that my mom had given my husband at Christmas...inside that tub was about 15 pieces of peanut butter fudge (my weakness) and I was home alone (BAD idea)...so I picked up the container with the idea to 'just sniff it' HA! Nope...I sat there and ate THREE pieces (450 calories), stopping between each piece and putting the container back. I finally regained control of myself...had a little cry...and went to bed. I slept like crap that night and was sick to my stomach all night long. But instead of waking up the next morning and giving up or feeling guilty I went and did an extra 30 minutes on the elipticle (usually about 500 calories burned) and felt better about my screw up. And I didn't log either one in MFP because I was being silly and didn't want anyone to say something to me about it so in my mind I 'fixed' it by burning as many calories as I had eaten.

As you can obviously see, I'm not perfect. I'm not going to be, because I'm HUMAN! And one of the big side-goals I have on this journey is to gain some self-discipline, of which I have Zero. That's actually what I feel is making this journey so difficult for me. The phrase "fake it till you make it" has a whole new meaning for me!! Because I'm 'faking' self-discipline until I get me some! And little instances like the one I just explained are the prime example of my lack there of!

So today is my sixth weigh-in for the challenge and 7 days ago I weighed 308.4, today I weighed exactly 306.4
Which is another two pounds and a total loss of 43.6 (I say 44) :) do this means that I am 7.4 pounds away from beating the 300's once and for all!! And I plan to be telling you that I've done that on my week 8 weigh-in. I have lost 5 inches from my hips, which is exciting to me, and 2 inches from my waist! Yay!! I can't wait to see what the next 6 weeks brings me!!

Thank you so much for following my journey and for encouraging me! Even if you don't comment or message me in Facebook I know you are reading, because approximately 30-40 people a day read my blog. :) (I love that I can see how many people read!) so thank you for just being there!!
<3 Honor

Monday, January 9, 2012

Day 43: Time flys when your having fun!

I can't believe I've been on vacation for two weeks! I go back to work on Thursday and I honestly haven't gotten a quarter of the things done that I wanted to! I guess it really almost always goes that way though. It doesn't help that I spent the whole first week sick and then the root canal last week took out two days. Boo! I really wish we had the finances from Jamie's job for me to be able to stay at home and do cakes and photography in the side, but we just don't.

Today I went back to the Dentist to have my teeth cleaned. It was a big deal to me because I haven't had them cleaned since I quit smoking and that was 21 months ago! Actually I'm pretty sure it was over a year Prior to quitting when I had them cleaned last! So I'd say I was LONG overdue! After getting my teeth cleaned, I went and did 30 minutes on the elipticle so I feel like a have a head start on my workout today. :-) I'm going to Zumba later with my sis, and since I was only able to go once last week, I'm really excited about going! The class I went to last week had over 50 ppl in a 35 max. Capacity room and I heard that the next day they had so many people there that there were people doing Zumba in the hallway! I like Zumba but I AM NOT doing it in a hallway! Lol!

Today has been another really good day so far, but because of the root canal on Wednesday I just don't think I'm going to see the number on the scale that I want to tomorrow. :-( as long as its a loss I'm not going to get frustrated...but I would REALLY love to see some 3 or 4 pound weeks instead of 2 or maybe even only 1 this week!

I tried out the gazelle last night and it was freaking me out! I've never used one before and it was definitely cracking me up. It was kindof like my left leg didn't want to do it, but my right one did! So weird! But I did 10 minutes and burned 100 calories! Not as many as the elipticle or the arc trainer but more than the stationary bike, I believe. I'm just excited to have a form of Cardio sitting in my living room! It's a constant reminder of my goals and I like it!

I've included a picture in my blog today...I'm blogging from my phone so I don't know where the picture is going to show up, but it is obviously a chair. But THIS chair, and those like it, have been my mortal enemy for my entire adult life. I have NEVER fit into those things. And I HATE it. Mostly because everybody has them...and most of the time it's the only style of lawn chair people have...so what do I do? Sit on a porch or just stand...and being fat...I'm not a fan of standing for long periods of time! I can't WAIT for the day that I post a picture of me SITTING in one of those chairs! That will be the day! And I am Soooo ready!

Have a good one my friends!
<3 Honor

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Day 42: Great Day today!

Today is one of the good days! People ask me all the time, if I'm starting to feel better or more energetic and I always say something like, "Yea, a little" but the truth is, as far as my body goes, I haven't really felt much different. But over the past week or do I have really started noticing a change! Part of it is just due to the fact that I feel better about myself! People are starting to say they can actually SEE a difference, which is Crazy To me! My instant thought when people tell me they can 'tell I'm losing weight' is pshh your just trying to be nice... But since Day 36, when I put on those jeans, I'm really starting to believe what I hear! And THAT feels great! So mostly me 'feeling' better is a brain switch. But today I really FEEL better. Lol. I know that just sounds dumb, but it's my reality!

I got to go to the gym with my sister today and I've really missed that! Last year, when I lost the 36 pounds, the reason why I even got in gear was because she had lost 40 pounds and weighed less than me (by quite a bit at that point because I had gained while she lost) and for most of our adult lives I've weighed less than her. Even if it was only by 5 pounds at some points. So even though I was morbidly obese and she is somewhere around 4 or 5 inches taller than me, I somehow justified that I was ok because she weighed more than me. Does that make any since at all?? Heck no!

I was so proud of myself today I did 30 minutes on the Elitpticle and then 30 minutes on the Arc trainer so I burned some serious calories! And because of my post yesterday, a very nice friend is letting me use her Gazelle and I'm super excited about it!! (**thanks again Angela!) So I got to go pick that up today. My husband had to get on it and act like a total idiot for a little bit but it was entertaining!

Have a good night!
<3 Honor

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Day 41: Crazy Brain

I just can't understand how some days 1500 calories seems like WAY to many, and then some days it seems like I'm starving all day long! I think it's mostly a mind game my brain plays on me as part of the food addiction. It's ridiculous though! As soon as I start getting confident and feel like I'm beginning to conquer this a little more...then I have one of those days where I can't seem to get enough to eat. Well I say Boo on that! Oddly enough, today hasn't been one of those days, I was just thinking about it when I was driving home from dropping off a cake.

Something I've been thinking about....and I even saw this on the biggest loser! Some people will have one high calorie meal per week. Typically after your weigh-in for the week. I have been watching all of the Biggest Loser Seasons and I'm on Season 5 at the moment and last night they had a short little part where Bob Harper talked about the contestants having a high calorie meal once a week after their official weigh-ins on the ranch. He said that gave them something to look forward to during the week and it helped many of the contestants keep from 'cheating' throughout the week. I have been giving this some serious thought...and I'm thinking I just might try it out for a few weeks. Bob said that having the high calorie meal helps jump-start your metabolism and actually helps Increase weight-loss throughout the week!! I figure I'll give it a try for the next few weeks and see how it goes...if I don't like the results, then I'll go back to doing it the other way.

We just finally took down our Christmas Tree, (things have been CRAZY lately!) and we put it where we usually keep an ottoman...I have decided that I'm going to move my exercise bike there...maybe that will encourage me to get a little extra Cardio in at home! I really REALLY wish I could get an eliptical or gazelle or something like that...they burn a ton of calories and I really enjoy them. :(

Thanks for reading!
<3 Honor

Friday, January 6, 2012

Day 40: Jello Legs

I can't believe how long it took me to get over those meds this time! I was still pretty sluggish most of the day yesterday. I didn't make it to the gym again, because I just felt to weak to do anything. I ended up sitting in my oversized chair and watching the Biggest Loser most of the day. So today and tomorrow, I have two
Days to make up for and I'm not excited about it! I've made peace with the fact that I'm most likely not going to reach my initial goal of 100 pounds by the end of this challenge, but I knew it was a stretch when I decided on it. I'm really just concerned about seeing a smaller number each and every week, even if it's one pound. I definitely want to see more than that each week, but the main goal is to lose weight and find a healthier version of me that can hopefully carry a baby to full term, happy and healthy and then stay healthy for the rest of my life so that my husband and I and whatever family we are blessed with, can have a wonderful life together. ;) THAT'S the main goal. So anything that gets me closer to that goal is two thumbs up in my book!!

I feel EXTREMELY successful today! I met with my personal trainer and I'd some aerobic and weight training exercises, and then I went to the elipticle. I had planned to do 20 minutes, but ended up pushing through to 30, which made me feel great after missing two days. So I go to the locker room for a visit to the bathroom before I come home and I was thinking, "Am I really to tired to do anything else? Or can I push in a little more Cardio?" so I went upstairs and got on the satanic Arc Trainer...and I somehow survived ANOTHER 30 minutes! I was beside myself with excitement! My legs did feel like jello though!!

Good night all!
<3 Honor

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Day 38 & 39: Root Canal Survival

As I said on Day 37, I had a root canal yesterday. My dentist gives some great meds that keep me from stressing out to bad and they're try much knock me out. My appointment was at 1:30 yesterday afternoon and I slept until after 11am today! The good thing with that is that I'm really not in much pain at all. I feel sluggish and a little overhangish, haha, but I'm ok as long as I don't try to open my mouth to wide. :)

In Ypump on Tuesday, which would have been day 37, we did these things called pyramids. You start with a smaller weight for me that was a 3 pound one, and you do 15 reps of an exercise, then you go up to your next weight, 5 pounds for me, and don15 more. Then you go up to your heaviest weight, mine was a 12 pound bar, and do 30 reps, the. Back to the middle weight for 15 more, and 15 on the smallest weight. That's the pyramid 15-15-30-15-15....and my trainer had us do this MULTIPLE different ways! Ooouch!!! So needless to say, I am extremely sore...still!

My mouth is hurting me tonight, so I am going to end this now and head to bed with some pain killers :)
<3 Honor

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Day 37: Weigh-In Number Five

Today was probably the scariest weigh-in for me, simply because I
felt like I hadn't made the best choices this week. I even went over my calories one night for the first time in 37 days! Plus on Saturday I went to a wedding and ate Fried Chicken, with green beans, mashed potatoes, corn and a roll! My only saving grace there was that I had very small portions! And I had a small piece of wedding cake!! Needless to say, I could have done 10x's better this week than I did. But...I still exceeded my own expectations this morning when I hopped on that scale. I was Hoping and praying that I didn't GAIN any weight...and I didn't. I LOST 2 pounds!! Oh yea! So now I weigh 308.4. And have lost 42 pounds!! I can't wait to get back below 300!! I've been above 275 for probably 5 years or more. But I've only been over 300 for the last year or so. And that is really hard on me mentally. So to get back below the 300 mark will be fantastic! And then I'm headed for under 275, since I have been over that one for so long! When I got married in February of 2003, I'm pretty sure I was somewhere around 220-230ish. I'm not quite sure exactly what it was because I was in denial, even then. So I know that if I get below 220 I will definitely be smaller than my husband has ever seen me. THAT would be a Great feeling! But I have quite a long ways to go before I can even really think about that! The crazy thing is that for the first time, I really feel like my goals are achievable...I really, honestly and truly believe that I am going to get there! It's just going to take a little time. And I have to stay focused!! Losing focus would be detrimental to this journey.

I had a great thing happen to me today at Ypump. I was wearing some workout pants that I purchased at Vanity Fair after I found out I was accepted into the YMCA's fitness challenge. And when I bought them they were really snug. But since they were made of elastic and stretchy material, I went ahead and got them. At that point everything was so snug it was getting embarrassing anyways! But I wear the biggest size you can buy at Fashion Bug, Cato, or Lane Bryant. And I outgrew Walmart's pants a few years ago. So anyways, I'm wearing these pants that I really like to wear because they are super comfortable and one of my friends says..."Hey Honor, those pants are getting a little loose aren't they?" I looked down and was like, wow! I guess they are! My first thought, was instinctive...maybe I stretched them out! But no, I didn't. I'm just REALLY doing this! I've NEVER lost enough weight that my clothes fit differently. I've always dreamed about it...but never made it a reality...I'm LOVING THIS!!

Tomorrow I have a root canal and my wonderful Dentist prescribes me a "cocktail" of three different meds so that I'm good and relaxed and don't stress out to much about the procedures. This is my first root canal and I'm thoroughly terrified. But excited to get my tooth fixed! So needless to say, with those meds in me, I'm not sure if I'll be able to blog tomorrow! But please keep me in your prayers tomorrow!

Thanks everyone for taking the time to read my blog and for all of your support so far in this journey! I appreciate you!!
<3 Honor

Monday, January 2, 2012

Day 36: Hello there jeans!

36 days ago I had one pair of jeans that fit me. Four or five months ago I decided I needed more than one pair that fit well, so I went to Fashion Bug to get me a pair. The pair I had was a 30 (I wear a 26/28 in everything BUT jeans) so I went in to buy me another pair. I tried on four different styles and not a single pair was comfortable. I settled on a pair, thinking that if I'd lose 'a few pounds' they would fit better. I wore them to see a movie (which is already an uncomfortable thing since the seats are not 'fat-friendly') and between the seats squeezing my hips so bad that I had bruises and the pants being so tight I thought I would be sick, I was miserable when I made it home and cried myself to sleep. So those jeans went in the closet to stay until I lost weight. Well today, I decided to see how they feel...and they fit!! I was so excited!!!

Today was a really great day! Although it is eleven and I haven't worked out yet...but I WILL before I go to bed! I went to Cape today with my good friend Ariel & her boyfriend, to try to get some things I needed for a western themed bridal shower cake I'm making this week and I found some really great stuff!! Really excited to make this cake because it's going to be awesome!

On my little outing we stopped for dinner at Chick-fil-a and I had a reall tasty dinner that didn't make me feel guilty. :) I had some of their sinfully amazing chicken nuggets and a side salad. I had quite a few calories by dinner so I enjoyed croutons and sunflower seeds in my salad with Ranch dressing! And let me tell ya...those folks know how to make an awesome side salad!!

So I ended up having a really great day and now I have to get in a workout!!

Have a good night!
<3 Honor :-)

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Day 35: Happy New Year, What's your Resolution?

It is is New Year, some say it's a time for new beginnings. Many make New Year' Resolutions...my pastor this morning said that by January 31st typically 60% of the people who made New Year's Resolutions have already given up! And by Valentine's Day (only two weeks later) it goes up to 75%!!! I am so glad I started my journey in November instead of January 1st!! Because I SURE don't want to become a statistic!

As the new year begins I find myself a little defensive about my gym time. So many people use the beginning of a New Year to commit to losing weight and working out...so what that means for me is that my special gym time is about to be compromised. There will be people littering the Zumba and Ypump classes and the Fitness room and I can't help but be sad about it! I seriously had an instinctive 'ugly' thought! I thought, well heck, 75% of these people will give up by Valentine's Day, so why don't they just give up now! Ha! No, no Honor that's not nice! But hey, what can I say, I'm human!

So my Resolution is to 'not have a resolution', but to make a commitment to myself (it's different, I promise!) to continue with this journey making it one of the top priorities in my life, not THE top priority, because that's reserved for God. And then my hubby, and a few other things. But this journey definitely has to be a lot higher on the list than it has been in past failed attempts. And so far, so good!

Everywhere I go I am confronted by temptations! I went to a birthday party of a very good friend (Olivia)'s daughter and there was cupcakes and ice cream, and lots of other yummy stuff but I did pretty ok and ended my day within my calorie goal, because I stayed Away from the cake and ice cream! And then I go to the gas station and when I walk in there is the distinctively delicious aroma of Pizza! Argh! But I held my head high and walked out with a Dasani! Then I get to my mom and dad's house and find myself being tempted again! BUT, as I said, I survived...thank God!

I think I'm ready to start off my year and I will do it one day at a time! I have high expectations for this year so I'm going to have to stay focused and determined!

Thank you for reading friends!
<3 Honor