Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Days: 198-213: Changes...

I wrote this on my birthday and forgot to post it! Whoops :-)

So I think I've decided that, at least for now, I'm going to start doing a blog once a week on weigh day. This week has been a crappy week. I haven't been to the gym in too long and making excuses for not going becomes easier and easier. I keep telling myself that I'll ride my bike or go for a walk but in all actuality I end up not working out. And the result of that is that I didn't loose any weight again. I know that I have to get back on a loosing streak and we all know I'm fully capable Of making it happen. But eating healthy is a Very big challenge for me. It always has been. If I stay on healthy foods for a while it does get easier though...and that is what I have to do!

Today is my 29th birthday. A fresh start for me begins tomorrow. I am awesome at having a great eating day...until around 4...then it all goes downhill from there.

I am officially on vacation until next week and after a wedding I'm doing Saturday, I will be headed I the lake with my hubby for five whole days of relaxation and renewal. My goal is to not gain any weight while I'm there. I am currently back up some pounds an not at all thrilled about it. So right now I am at 297. That's 53 pounds down from my start weight. A very big wake up call. So no gaining weight while I'm gone and then it's nose to the grindstone when I return. :-) It will probably be two weeks before I blog again because we've got vacation and then week 1 of my re-start :-) talk to you then!

<3 Honor

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Day 197: Weigh Day

Well I told you I would be honest about my weight today, no matter what it was...and it's not pretty. 288. I'm very unhappy with that. These 280's kick my butt! I have completely wasted the last two months away bouncing around in the 280's! And I can tell you right now that I am a determined woman that is going to get the number going down no matter what! Argh!!! I can't believe I have wasted so much time! But this isn't easy...no one who has been successful at losing a large amount of weight would ever tell you that it's easy! So I'm at 62 pounds lost total... Boo!!!!

Ok...I feel better now. :) Today has actually been a pretty good day! I got up early enough to put together a lunch and some snacks for the day and had a nice bowl of Oatmeal with some Turkey bacon for breakfast. Work is always good when I have a shoot...and they are nice...lol. So my day started great because someone I know came in for maternity pics before 11 and we had fun and that settled my stress of having at least one shoot today. I brought a sugar free jello with me (only 10 calories) and had that as a quick snack in the morning and then by the time lunch break came around I was feeling more like a nap instead of lunch! So I decided to eat my turkey and cheese sticks (I roll the turkey around the cheese for a turkey roll-up, lol) and thought I would take a nap and then eat the rest of my lunch when I got up...uh...negative...lol, I slept all the way up to 3:00 and had to rush in because I had someone call-in for a 3:00 earlier...the weird thing was that I really wasn't all that hungry anyways so I wasn't sad about it...

So I guess my body must have known what the night had in store for me! Because last minute, me and Jamie decided to have a date night, which included dinner at Olive Garden. And since I had only eaten a total of 400 calories all day...I had the calories to enjoy dinner and a movie with my hubby. No, eating a large bunch of calories in the latest part of the day is NOT a good idea...but it's better than eating regular all day and then splurging anyways...right? I think so! So I had a really nice date night with my hubby and we strolled around the Mall for a little while...wasted money we probably shouldn't have wasted...and watched my first 3D movie :) It was Men In Black III and I LOVED the movie! The 3D effects were cool, but I think they are WAY better in cartoon style movies, because we saw previews for madagascar 3 and it looked AWESOME! I haven't watched a cartoon movie in years, but that preview made me want to watch it! LOL

Ok, it's insanely late and I'm exhausted, so I better shut up for now ;)
<3 Honor

Monday, June 11, 2012

Day 196: Downhill Finally!

I finally feel like I'm going back down the hill from sickness and going towards recovery...although if I were writing this blog this morning, I would have said something entirely different! I woke up around 8:00 do miserable and still fighting a sinus migraine, that I took a double dose of Ibruprofen and went back to sleep! Now keep in mind that I have to leave for work by 9:45 at the latest, to stroll in to the studio right at 10, so unusually aim for 9:40 to be safe.... Well I finally started my day at 9:25!! So it was rush to throw my clothes on and throw the hair in a ponytail and just as I finished pinning up all the lose strands I looked down and realized my shirt was INSIDE OUT! Whoops! I'm definitely glad I didn't leave for work like that!! Haha

Today was one of my hungry days...which always seems to happen when I've veered in the wrong direction and am trying to get back on track. The difference is that I actually ate healthy all day!!! Yay me!!! I didn't pre-plan and bring my lunch...which is always a step in the wrong direction for me. So that meant buying single portion things which costs a ton! I spent around $15 today on food!! Wow! So after work it was very important to go grocery shopping do I could restock the fridge with healthy foods!

The only problem with eating healthy is that most of what I Should be eating iS food that goes bad pretty quick. And I have this insane skill at overbuying healthy foods to the point that I ended up throwing a LOT of it away! Bad! Plus I'll get lazy and not cook the healthy stuff and just heat up a Lean Cuisine TV dinner or something easy. So I've GOT to quit doing that! Old habits die hard, but I can do this! And I think that if I can get into the habit of pre-portioning again...I'll do much better!!

I spent a good hour and a half when I got home from grocery shopping cleaning out my fridge and rearranging it. And then I got a few organization aids for my cake stuff and got caught up with that and I ended up not getting my dinner until 9:30!! Wow!

Time to chill out for a bit!
<3 Honor

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Day 195: Sicker than a dog!

I don't know why people say they're sick as a dog...but whatever the reason...I feel sicker. Lol. This sinus infection is kicking my tail!! And my problem with being sick is that I eat crap. Ok not literally, but I always have to rack my mind to find anything at all that sounds good enough to eat! I had lunch with my sis at the Mexican restaurant so for dinner I should have just come home and ate some chicken noodle soup...but that didn't sound good! So instead I walked the isles of the grocery side of Walmart after work searching for something that sounded good...I ended up getting some Garlic Herb Flipsides with Spray cheese. BAD choice...but that is the ONLY thing in the whole store that sounded good.

I got out to my car and was sitting in my car and started to freak out because I thought I had left my keys in the studio and I felt to awful to waddle back in after them. Then it hit me...duh ding dong...how could I have gotten INTO the car without my keys...and lo and behold they were sitting in the ignition. Lol. I don't remember putting them there! Haha

So as I'm leaving the parking lot I impulsively decide that the crackers and cheese don't sound good anymore...I need something different. And I decided that a chili cheese coney and ice cream from Sonic is what sounded good. Errr....NOPE. I bought it and made it through less than half...and now I have wasted food. Oh well! It was NO good for me anyways! I shouldn't be eating junk at all. Let alone twice in one day!

So there you have it. I'm struggling like crazy to get back on track. And being sick is not helping in the slightest bit. And I'm feeling it extra tonight. I've been laying here on my couch for a few hours and don't appear to be going anywhere tonight! Goodnight!
<3 Honor

Monday, June 4, 2012

Days 181-194: I'm Back!

Ok, I know you have all missed me! Ok maybe you haven't...but I've missed blabbing about all of my wonderful little ramblings...lol!

These past few weeks have definitely been insane! The supposed abscess actually turned out to be a Brown Recluse bite that got pretty bad. I was treating it exactly as the doctor had instructed me to do but it kept getting worse and worse and the pain intensified dramatically. The bite was located really high on my upper thigh do every time I stood, sit, kneaded, leaned, or even wiggled to much, I was in severe pain. I ended up having to have it lance and drained and after a week of going in and getting the wound packed every day, it was looking a LOT better!

I missed way more work than I would have liked to, and used a lot of my PTO :( But I was Very Thankful that the PTO was there to use! And thanks to the combination of antibiotic and pain pills, my stomach did some crazy things. I was skipping meals (which always causes me to gain weight) and when I was hungry it was something really salty or really sweet that I craved. And so, of course, I damaged an already sensitive psyche and just ate whatever I craved. Needless to say, I am terrified to get on the scale. Today is Saturday, so my plan is today I'm back on the wagon...eating right, no excuses...and I will keep going in that direction. And then I will weigh in on Tuesday and tell you where I'm at. I'm pretty sure it's not going to be pretty, but I mean...let's be honest here...if the journey to successful Weight Loss was easy...EVERYONE would be of a normal healthy weight and we all know that's definitely NOT the case.

I don't remember if I ever shared with you all that I got a bike...but I did. About a month ago. And until te day before yesterday...it's been sitting in my living room while I admire it & I've been to afraid to get on it. I don't know what exactly I was afraid of...afraid of falling off...afraid of someone seeing me on it and making a snide comment...afraid I was just to fat to do it...I dunno, but SOMETHING was keeping me off. Maybe a little bit of all of that. But I did it! I got on my bike and rode it around our little community with my hubby. And I only made it three quarters of a mile before I was winded and my leg was hurting where the bite is. I was VERY surprised to be so winded after such a short bike ride! I mean I go to spinning class and go 10-15 miles or even more sometimes. Yes, I know it's been a little but since I've been to a spinning class but not THAT long. So that leaves me wondering if I'm really THAT out of shape again already...or maybe my body is still recovering from all of the abuse! Haha.

<3 Honor