October 30th, 2017: No Rewards

So I have this crazy mentality that if I have a good week and lose some weight, well I deserve a reward! And of course, in my brain, that means chocolate. I told myself Friday night that if I lost at least 2 pounds on Saturday, I deserved a Mini Snickers. I had it sitting out on my table from filling Halloween Trick or Treat bags and everything! I went and weighed in, and holy DANG I lost 4 pounds....oh yea...I'm getting that snickers. I went in the kitchen and I looked at it.

Is it really worth it? Hmm

So I decided to think about it. What if that tiny Snickers kicks me out of ketosis and sets me back? What if it causes me to stall out again? Do I want it more than I want to lose weight?

I'm proud to say, I overcame that little indecent. that snickers is still sitting on my table. It was SUPER hard to leave it there, but doing so...I think it made me stronger! I CAN stop myself. Without anyone's help at all. I hold the power to make the good changes.

I can be successful and not reward myself with food. I see it all the time that it's the worst kind of sabotage for weightloss. I love setting goals with non-food rewards though. Last year, I had a goal to hit 50 pounds lost and I would get a massage. It was GREAT! But I have to get cheaper rewards this time around. Lol.

I'm trying something new this week with my food. We shall see what happens. I realized I was only getting an average of 7-10 grams of Fiber per day. Women should get 20-25. I NEVER get that high. So I made some insanely high Fiber muffins that have 0.6 carbs (oh yea) in them. They aren't amazing, but...they are ok. I think they are kindof dry, so I may try to change up the recipe a bit if this works well for me. Fiber is super important for weightloss and gut health. And I'm all about that!

Halloween is tomorrow! I might need some Atkins M&M's to survive it! Lol! I do plan to make some keto cupcakes to help with any sugar cravings I might have. So we shall see how the day/night goes.

Thanks for tuning in!
Xoxo...Honor

October 28th, 2017: 5th Weigh-in

Well, needless to say, I was pretty freaked out about weighing in this morning. Last week was pretty devastating, and I couldn't decide whether I was cool with just not gaining and going back to 365 from the previous week, or whether I felt like I deserved to drop a pound or so. Last week was 366.4, today was 362.4...woohoo!!! I changed up a few things, so I'm not 100% sure what was the cause, or if it was a variety of things. 

My least favorite thing that I changed, was dropping my sugar free Atkins M&M's. They were pretty much the only thing I was eating that wasn't made from whole foods. I also started drinking 2 tblsp's per day of Apple Cider Vinegar. Lots of PCOS Keto'ers seem to find great success in adding the ACV. It's great for your whole system for various reasons (don't believe me, just Google it!), so either way, I was commited.

I also started taking my MCT oil more regularly. I'm not sure that it does anything, but it's suppose to have some amazing health benefits too, so whatever. Lol

Alright, I'm headed to bed! Fun family pics with one of my besties tomorrow. :) Have a great one!

xoxo...Honor

October 27th, 2017: Sheesh, Where have I been!?

Wow, 8 days and no blog, I suck! I'm still trucking along. I guess I just feel like things are pretty uneventful in weight-loss world. I'm doing the things. And I'm doing them exactly how I am supposed to be. But the scale is a jerk. Seriously. We aren't friends. :( I weighed in for my Facebook Diet Challenge I'm in last Saturday and was up 1.6 pounds from the previous week. No cheating. No going off the rails of any kind. Just my body and my scale being in a fight. Lol. It's hard. But I KNOW I'm doing the right things. I am in a ton of support groups for the keto way of eating, and lots of people stall, but they go on to lose a ton of weight. So not getting discouraged! I'm hoping and praying for a good loss tomorrow. We shall see.

Tonight I get to enjoy the company of a good friend, but I also get to fill Halloween bags with yummy candy. Oh how fun! Lol. It will be VERY difficult, but having someone to jabber with will definitely help keep me distracted. I almost decided not to do candy this year, but dang it! I love it! Last year we had sooooo many kiddos show up and it was super fun! So I'm sucking it up, and I will NOT eat the candy. Hopefully...lol. No really, I for real think I'm good.

This weekend should be nice and busy! I hope you all have a great one!!

Xoxo...Honor

October 19th, 2017: How My Living Room Tried to Kill Me!

Ok that title is a little overly dramatic, but I'm guessing it got your attention right?! :) So I tried something new today. In January or February of this year, I bought a 1 year all access pass to the Team Beachbody Workout videos. Today...in OCTOBER, I logged in to my account for the first time. What a sad waste of money. But anyways...I did it and I'm proud of myself for it! I did Day 1 of the 21 Day Fix workout. Day 1...shouldn't be so bad...at least that's what I thought. Wrong, wrong WRONG! Lol...omg....I think I broke an ab...and also both thighs. Yup...lol. The whole workout is set up in 60 second rounds of torture, followed by a 20 second break. They look awesome doing them. I looked like a cow stuck on it's back that couldn't get up. She said, "You can do anything for 60 seconds!"....um no...I can die in 60 seconds of that torture! Lol...but I did it. I pushed through and I did NOT do everything the way they did, but I kept moving and I did it. I may or may not be able to sit up out of my bed tomorrow though. The jury is still out on that one. But I did it. Whew...30 minutes of 60 second torture rounds. Don't believe me? Come over and try it! I'll record you for future entertainment purposes! :)

Anywho....surprisingly I had a pretty good day today. I say surprisingly because my scale is still not on my good side. I think it's possessed by the weightloss demons and refusing to give me any good news. I'm gonna seriously shed some tears if it doesn't start cooperating. I am trying so dang hard and for the number to not be changing, it makes me a tiny bit insane.

I tried something new today. It's a Pre-workout powder stuff that you add to your water. Idk if it helped me any or not. I could try the torture video again tomorrow without the drink and see, but I wanna live to see the weekend, so maybe not.

Have a great night!
Xoxo...Honor

October 18th, 2017: The Brain is a Fickle Thing

As I'm sure you guys are fully aware. My brain is my biggest obstacle in the journey to being a healthier me. 100%. It is my frenemy. Ok I don't know if that works here but it's an issue for sure.

I have been struggling to stay on track. I am doing fine with my food choices, but I am NOT getting enough exercise in. It feels 100 times harder this time. It hurts to do anything. More than ever before. I have this DEEP desire to be active and fit, yet my body is fighting me the entire way! It's annoying!

So when you are trying a new way of eating, people tend to take notice. One of the first people to become curious is my boss. She is what I would refer to as "skinny" but she is constantly on a mission to lose weight and her hubby has some health issues, so when she heard of what I was doing, she had a ton of questions, and within a few days, she had them both on a low carb life. Why am I telling you this? Well because of her decision, she brought all the snack cakes from her home, to work. We have a bunch of guys that will just eat that mess up. Except...they are taking forever. And those snack cakes are staring me in the face every dang day. And the scale has been a butt munch to me this week, and as I'm just really getting started, I find that to be absolutely ridiculous and annoying and I want to eat ALL THE SNACK CAKES....

I didn't. But I easily could have. They are the devil. The only kind that are left, I don't even care for. But right now, they look tasty. And I would love to eat one. And then cry about it the rest of the day and beat myself up about it. THAT's why I don't. But the constant mind games I'm playing with myself is a little insanity inducing to say the least. But...the silver lining is...so far, so good. So far, I have held out and have not made a single bad eating decision. Sugar free M&M's with Almonds are DEFINITELY keeping me sane. I know they are a crutch. But right now, they are keeping me from making a FAR worse decision. So right now. I'm rolling with it.

That's all! Gotta get to bed, I'm falling asleep over here. Thanks for tuning in. I feel like a soap opera these days, but hey, those are fun...so....ha.

Xoxo...Honor

October 16th, 2016: I'm Still Here

Oh my Gosh! I know, I know, I've been terrible about blogging! Lol. I never said I was going to do it daily this time. And honestly I'm all about blogging when I have good news and things are going great. But this weekend was crazy busy, and a I didn't get around to it.

Soooo let's start out with my wiegh in results. This week I weighed in at 365. That means that in three weeks, I've lost 20 pounds. I'll take it! I only lost 2.8 this week, but it's a loss. This was my special lady week, so I thought it was hindered a bit by water retention or bloating, but here it is Monday and I've actually gone UP a pound. What the crap man?! So yea, I'm in a poopy mood. I've been fighting mild depression all day. How sad that something so temporary can do that to me, but if one thing can put my in a bad mental state, it's my body. I KNOW that I can push through this. But in this moment, I'm angry and defeated and I want a cheeseburger with Mozzerella sticks and a Pumkin Pie milkshake. I also know that eating all of that would most likely make me sick as a dog, so I had almonds and sugar free M&M's instead. Lol.

I can do this. I just have to push through. I have to keep going. I KNOW I need more exercise. The problem with that comes with a story:

Saturday morning I got up, and I did my weigh-in and then we got ready for the A21 walk. It was supposed to be about a mile walk wearing T-shirts and signs and walking in a straight line to help raise awareness for Human Trafficking in the US. I was so happy to be able to do it! I've been walking a mile 2-4 times per week and though, heck yea, I've got this.

So we get there and all is good, I'm pumped and ready to go, and even though I knew right away I was the biggest person there, I wasn't focusing on that. I was ready to walk. So here we go...walk from the grocery store, across the street, about 100 yards or so later, I am watching the people in front of me and they keep holding their phones up high and taking pictures and videos of this powerful movement of people. Me, being me, I think, hey self! Let's take a pic of this to share on the facebook! So I get my phone out and I hold it up high to take a picture..and the next thing I know...I'm eating the pavement. Yup...I fell flat on my face. Well...not technically, technically I slow fell, holding my phone up to try to keep from hurting my precious baby phone, I failed. I landed mostly on my left side, hurting my left knee, elbow, and arm muscles pretty badly and somehow hurting my left heel. And the grand finale...I shattered the back of my phone. Sad, sad day. It was the single most embarrassing thing ever. The entire walk stopped and everyone started bowing out to try to get a look at the idiot that couldn't walk on uneven sidewalk and I. was. mortified. I'm like, go, go, go, go....just leave my to die in my embarrassment! I made my way with my lovely support group to the end of the line. I don't think anyone could believe I was ok. Hell I wasn't even sure I was convinced I was ok, but nothing felt broken, so I was gonna finish this dang walk that claimed the life of my beautiful phone screen. Much to my own amazement, I did it. And I was feeling pretty proud of myself afterward too!

I came home with hubby and my cuz Jess and did a few final things for our party, I was VERY glad I had been on top of things the night before and pretty much had the entire thing ready to go. So I was able to chill out and visit and blab, and blab some more and do my makeup (mermaid) and hers (cute scarecrow) for the party. The rest of my weekend kindof went by in slow-mo because by the end of Saturday I was in some serious pain and then Sunday was ROUGH, I barely got the laundry even done. But I survived! I'm feeling a little better today, but I still didn't work out at all. I'm going to do something tomorrow for sure!

Good night y'all!
Xoxo...Honor

October 13th 2017: Happy Friday the 13th!

Oh my gosh! What a busy few days it has been! I barely remembered to blog tonight! I've been a busy Chicka. Y3sterday after work, I did a bit of cleaning, and then I got to see my nephews and sister which is always fun and chaos. Haha. It's mostly chaos because of my sweet baby Dane puppy. Yes a BRAT and makes having kiddos for company a challenge! But we still managed to have a good visit. It was VERY much needed because I received some very, very bad news yesterday that I can't share because it affects other people and they aren't ready for it to be public, so I'm stuck with holding this in (close friends k ow what's up). But it's still stressful. I don't k ow what is going to happen over the course of the next few months, but I'm going to do my very, very best to keep my health a priority. Life changes and stress are some of the easiest things to throw you off balance and let your health move to the backburner. I don't want to allow that to happen this time. I want to fight through it and fight for ME. I'm important enough! I'm worth it! Meanwhile, keep my situation in your prayers.

Today was a better day. Work was pretty steady and Fridays are always easier to muddle though. I knew I had a lot to do after work so I came home ready to get busy. I had to get decorated for a little Halloween Party I'm having tomorrow. Jamie and I busted some tail to get it all done, but now I'm so tired! Lol. I'm ready for bed for sure. Another big day tomorrow and it starts with a weigh-in. Which I don't wanna do. Lol. If rather skip to next week.

Thanks for tuning in!

Xoxo..Honor

October 11th, 2017:

I have had a couple of people ask me what made me think this time will be different. After all, it's my 3rd time. I've lost and gained it back 2 other times already. My answer is simply, I don't know. I don't know WHY I can allow myself to spend 4 or 5 months busting tail and then just let it all come back. It's the single hardest thing. I'll get to a certain point where I feel like I deserve a break, or deserve to let myself have a few treats, and I just keep going and going and don't stop. It's heartbreaking. I know how to lose weight, and I know how to gain weight, but I've never mastered the whole maintenance mode. I've GOT to figure it out. I've got to figure out how to let myself stray a tad, but then be able to reign it back in. I know a TON of people who have done it. I know that I posses the skills and the brain power to do it. So...I just have to do it. I do know that I've leaned on other things and people too much in the past, and I'm trying really hard to change that this time. I've got the whole losing weight thing figured out, now time to get where I want to be or close and figure out a balance that will work for me.

I have never been able to get under 277 pounds. So that is one of my big goals. That will be just over 100 pounds lost. I'm trying to not put a whole lot of pressure on myself with goals and time restraints this time around, because I just get super frustrated when I fail. I do know that the point of making goals is that sometimes you reach them and sometimes you don't. But my brain isn't wired that way. If it's a goal, then I have to get it. Period. End of story. And I make myself crazy will all of that.

I had a great day food wise today. I don't eat until 1pm because of doing the intermittent fasting. It really REALLY works for me, because I've always been a late night snacker and I binge and lose control at the end of the night. That h asnt been an issue at all this time!! I start eating at 1 and eat u til 9pm and that's it. I had enough calories and carbs left at the end of the night that I got to enjoy some almonds and Atkins m&m's and it was heavenly!!! No joke! I was so excited about my life!! Haha.

I completed my 5th day of 10k steps and I'm not moving a dang muscle the rest of the week!! Haha ok, not true, I have stuff to do! I've been so busy worrying about those stupid steps that I have backed up laundry and housework to get done and a Halloween Party to prep for on Saturday!!

Have a good one friends!

Xoxo...Honor

October 10th, 2017: Feel the Burn! (But not so much)

In the words of DJ Tanner, "Oh Mylanta!"I.am.exhausted!! I don't even know how I did it, but I made it to 10k steps today! 4 days in a ROW! I want to do it tomorrow too, so that way I have 2 full, blessed days of no cares!! Lol. I actually have a LOT to do on Thursday and Friday and do not want to be worrying about steps and be too exhausted to get my stuff done. So One MORE Day...that's it. I can DO THIS! 

Today was insane! I was dancing around and making up reasons to move as much as possible, trying to get my steps in. By the time I got home from a crazy busy day at work, I made this amazing Keto Pizza using a crust recipe called "Fat Head Pizza Crust"...oh yea...that hit the SPOT! I was totally in Pizza loving heaven! The recipe made 3 mini pizza's, so I'm hoping they will be as tasty when they are warmed up. That would be AWESOME because that would mean I have two more dinners DONE. Lol. Dinner always takes the most time because I like to get my variety in for that meal. I eat a lot of uncured Black Forest Ham(cuz zero carbs, duh) and cheese and eggs and nuts during the day. So dinner is when I go all out. Tonight was PERFECT. 

After dinner, we (Jamie and I) went for a walk. We took our protector, Duke with us. Haha...he's such a scary cat though. He wouldn't protect a fly. But the sheer mass of him is intimidating to strangers, so it's kind of fun to take him along. :)

The walk was wonderful, weather wise! It was breezy and cooler than it's been in a few weeks and I was in heaven! But oh, my feet. They hurt sooooo bad. I can definitely feel the improvement starting to happen though. The pain doesn't last as long now. The burning also isn't as intense. I'm sitting here writing this blog with almost no pain. So that makes me so dang happy, I can hardly stand it! I have also noticed that putting on my shoes is a little easier too! Those non-scale victories are exactly what I need, because, sadly, the scale hasn't budged at ALL yet this week. I wasn't expecting a whole lot because it's that special week women love so much, but dog-on it! I want to see SOMETHING for all of this hard work! If my body makes it up to me in doubles next week, she shall be forgiven. LOL

This chica is headed to bed y'all! Have a great night!

Xoxo...Honor

October 9th, 2017: Would Ya Look at That?!

May I have your attention please!?!?!? Who has ankles?! Well this girl does!!! And I'm super excited about it!!

I know I missed yesterday, I totally spaced out and didn't think about it until this morning. It's been a crazy few days trying to get all of these dang steps in. And today was even crazier!! I had to juggle a sit down job with trying to get way more steps than my body is ready for yet. It was VERY difficult. I did manage to spread it out mostly thought the day. But I ended up needing 3,000 more after dinner, so I sweet talked my sister into going for a walk with me. We got out to walk and it started raining! I was like...uh...hello mother nature?! What the crap man!?

But we persevered and we walked until I hit 10k steps and she was SUPER close. 🙂🙂

Now I'm at at home soaking my poor baby feet!

Goodnight y'all!

Xoxo...Honor

October 7th, 2017: Weigh-in Day

Oh em gee what a DAY! I did my my weigh-in for my weightloss challenge today and then I got BUSY! I had a 10,000 step goal to make and didn't have any time to waste. I knew I was going to have to split it up throughout the day or I'd never get there. So I got busy doing some chores around the house and keeping busy, and then I headed over to my bestie's house for a little afternoon of shenanigans. Her and her girls went with me to take care of my boss' cattery and then we went and got pedicures. We had so much fun! We were giving those people so much crap and cracking them up. It was just what I needed! Afterward we hit up a few stores and got some more groceries that I needed.

I seriously ate 1 plate of food, pumpkin seeds and some shrimp scampi. That's it. All day. And the BEST part about that was that I was not hungry at all today! It blows my mind. Like....I don't even know how to deal with my life. Lol. I did have a little bit of a hard time when I had to take them to get their dinner. They chose Long John Silvers and I looooove their cheese curds and battered shrimp. Those smells were making me a little crazy! So when we went to get groceries, I grabbed up some shrimp and went home and made scampi. Perfect. Yum! Who needs all that batter?! Not this girl...I'm on a mission! Lol

Ok enough jibber-jabber, let me give you what you really came for....weigh in results. When I started 2 weeks ago, my initial weigh-in was 385.4. And today I weighed in at 367.8 that's an 8 pound loss this past week and 17.6 total. Whew...I'm proud of that. I'm hoping for this week to be really good too since I'll be doing all of these extra steps, but we shall see.

Y'all I am exhausted and headed to bed! Thanks for tuning in. :)

Xoxo...Honor

October 6th, 2017: No Excuses

Well today was a busy, busy day! I knew I had a small workout to look forward to, because the Challenge for the weightloss thing I'm in, was to burn 600 extra calories this week. 600 is kindof easy when you are almost 400 Pounds, just saying. I did that Denise Austin video for 18 minutes the other night and burned 300 calories. Then I'm looking through other people's entries and they are like...jogged 2 miles, 147 calories. Lol. Shoot, if that were me, jogged 2 miles, 1,000 calories!! So I needed 300 more calories burned by the end of the day. On my lunch...I go into the bathroom, turn some jammed out music on my headset, and I go to town! Throwing my arms all over the place and moving that big booty! Denise Austin told me the more muscles I engage the more calories I will burn! Well ok Denise! I'm moving my muscles!! LOL 18 minutes later and my second 300 calories were smashed out. Oh yea.

So I went a little stupid when they posted the challenge for next week. It was like a shot in the gut! They want 10k steps per day FIVE days this week. I do AMAZINGLY well to get 6k on a work day. So I'm like...well....I'm either gonna fail or die trying. I seriously don't even know if I'm physically able to do it, but I'm gonna be dancing my butt off, because I get more steps that way without feeling like I'm dying. Turn on the music and dance before work...dance in AT work, on my lunch...after work...maybe I'll be a dancing FOOL by the end of the week! Lol

Well it's late and I have been busy all day and then visited with my sis all night and I'm EXHAUSTED and have 10,000 steps to get tomorrow! LOL

Pray for me y'all! Tomorrow is also weigh in day with the challenge, so you know I'm gonna share with you all. :)

Xoxo...Honor

October 5th, 2017: Keto Rage

Apparently there's this thing called Keto rage. I thought I was just being extra cranky on Monday and then my sister informed me that it's a real thing. And boy do I have it! Lol. Think...PMS X's 100...this is serious folks. I seriously have never felt so moody in my whole life! I think the guys at work are ducking and covering when they see me now! Haha

The crazy thing about it, is that when I think about it...I'm super happy! Every morning I get on the scale and watch it drop a little more every day. THAT is good news folks! And I LOVE seeing daily results! Instant Gratification is my jam! I know that it won't keep going down so quickly, but I also know that I've worked out 20 minutes this whole week and I'm still seeing amazing results....sooooo...when I get to where the loss slows a little, it will speed back up because I'll be working out too! Tadaa!! Magic! Haha

They say that 70% of weightloss is in your diet and the other 30% is in your workout. I've been doing it the other way around in previous attempts. Now, my primary focus is a good, filling diet every day. Yesterday I did so good I wasn't even hungry for supper! Ha! That NEVER happens! I am a nighttime eater for sure! I usually snack, and have a milkshake and graze all night. Not anymore. I feel soooo much fuller on this Keto diet and I love it. I still have to fight my brain, because I'm so used to snacking that it's almost like a habit. Like...I'm bored....let's have a snack! Haha, no-no bad-bad!

Ok I'm doing a lot of whining today so maybe I should hush it. Lol. So I did a workout last night...on my TV, because I was feeling to lazy to go to the gym. Haha..But at least I did something! I LOVE having YouTube on my TV, and I love Denise Austin...I don't know why, but her videos just make me happy! She was on the Rachel Ray Show the other day and I was omg two of my favorite women in one place!! Haha. So I typed her in and did 18 whole minutes of a 30 minutes Cardio Blast Routine. And then I died. Ok..maybe not, but my heart was beating super fast and I burned 300 calories in that little 18 minutes! I'll take it!! I was feeling super proud of myself afterward and I went to make what I had planned for dinner, which was Chicken Alfredo Zoodles and I realized...nope...not hungry! But ya gotta eat dinner! I try to make sure I get at least 1200 calories a day, maybe I shouldn't worry so much about it, but I didn't want to wake up hungry and I REFUSE to eat in the middle of the night! So I just made up a little chicken and threw some Pesto on it, cuz I love it. And steamed some brocolli and bam, your dinner is complete! :)

Xoxo..Honor

October 4th, 2017

Ok so I love researching things that interest me. And of course, right now....that's Keto everything. I have my own personal consultant with my sister, because she has been doing Keto since the end of May and did it some last year too. But I also want to learn things on my own and form my own opinions about things. I didn't do a whole lot of research before I started, because I just had myself 100% convinced that there was no way I could do the Keto diet and be successful.

I was so wrong. #1: You can lose weight with a good Keto diet, without even exercising. That's my love language right there! You have to workout to tone and to just be healthy in general. But at the weight I'm at and in the shape I'm in...working out is super stressful because my body can't tolerate it very well. Mostly my feet. They BURN like crazy when I do anything that requires walking a lot. Even going to the Mall or shopping for part of the day has me in severe pain. So I needed a new plan. I couldn't do everything the same as before. Don't get me wrong, I'm still doing the things and being more active...just not like I have in the past. And guess what? The scale just keeps on going down! Uh yea baby!!

I'm soooo ready to be able to do more and be more active. I HATE how lazy I've become. Even at home with just daily living is a struggle. So I am focusing on keeping my diet on point and not stressing a whole lot about physical activity right this minute. They say the 1st 2 weeks of the Keto diet make you extra drained anyways because you are changing the way your body burns fat, so I'm still within that time frame. Hopefully soon, I'll start having more energy and be able to get moving.

I tried something new today! I ordered this Cocnut Oil called MCT oil. You can just add it to your morning coffee and it is supposed to be amazing for you. It helps you reduce your stored body fat, feel fuller, have more energy, think more clearly, better digestion, balance your hormones (oh heck yes), improve your mode & fight infections and viruses!! Who would EVER pass up those benefits?? Not me, no way..I need some of ALL of that. So I put it in my coffee this morning. 1 tablespoon...not that much...except, it didn't blend in and I was feeling like I was drinking oil all morning. Haha...not a fan of that! But the taste was pretty nonexistent.  So I'm gonna try blending it in my blender tomorrow and see if that helps.

These last few days have been difficult for me. My obesity has pretty much always been about my brain. Yes, I have PCOS, and yes, I have an entire family that has obesity issues. But I'm the biggest. It's always been my sister and I at the top of the fat pyramid of our family. Why? I don't know. But I do know that she struggles with a binging disorder. I have one too, but not to the extent of hers. I just REALLY like to eat junk. Candy and chips etc. I could live on it. I know that lots of other people can eat the same way I enjoy and aren't nearly as obese as I am and that messes with my head. It makes me feel out of control and like, no matter what I do, I'm predestined to be obese my entire life.

I don't know why some people can never exercise a day in their life and eat whatever they like and remain thin or barely overweight. It's not fair. But at the end of the day...my life, my struggles, my wieght, is NOT ABOUT THEM. I compare myself to EVERYONE around me to the point of spiraling out of control. I probably should be seeing a counselor. But I have faith, that if I keep my head on straight and maintain a great support system, which I have (thanks to all of you beauties who help me and my fam too!) then I can DO this. I can be a Success story!

I was so freakin inspired last night. I was strolling through Instagram, looking at all these people who have lost MASSIVE amounts of wieght and I came across this girl who just jumped out at me. I don't know her history, how long she's been obese or how she got that way, but I know that at the age of 26 she weighed around 480 pounds or so. In ONE YEAR she lost 259 pounds!! One freaking year. I want to do that! That is amazing! I can't lose 269, but 200 would be exactly what I want.

Ok, I'm done dreaming now. Haha. I haven't set any real goals yet, because I don't like letting myself down. Non-Scale Victories are where it's at with me. I know it's healthy to have goals, and I will set some. But right now my goal is: Lose Weight. That's all. Haha.

What are your goals weight-loss or non-scale? I'd love to hear them!

One of my long-term Non-Scale Goals is to be able to take a bath and have the water flowing on both sides of me without having to be in a Jacuzzi to make it happen. Lol It's important!

Xoxo...Honor

October 3, 2017: 3rd Time's A Charm Right?!

Well...I'm back. I'm embarrassed. I've gone back and forth on whether or not I was going to revive the old blog a third time, and I keep trying to talk myself out of it, but at the end of the day....I just enjoy it. One main reason being that it helps me stay on track. It also helps me to have somewhere to pour out my heart and not drive those around me insane with weight-loss & food talk.

Part of what was holding me back is that I've already failed at this 2 times. What makes this time any different? I've already gotten some heat from people about it. What is the point if you are going to lose 70 pounds or so, and then just gain it all back? Well...it's a learning process for sure. One thing I have GOT to learn, is how to go in to maintenance mode! I should have done that last year when we bought our house. Big changes happened all at once and all of the sudden I wasn't able to concentrate all of my attention on my weight-loss journey, and before I knew it, I started gaining again. I can lose, or I can gain. I can't seem to find that sweet spot where I can just hang out for a while doing neither and regroup.

So what got me going again? A few things actually. I restarted on Saturday, September 23rd. So 10 days ago. I've been trying to motivate myself to restart since my sister did at the end of May and I kept making excuse after excuse. Let me just buy one more bag of my favorite chips or let me just eat one more time at this place and that place...well you know where that leads ya....straight down the path of destruction.

I have a new plan of attack this time around. I have shared through my blog before, that I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrom. For those who don't know, in a nutshell, it causes it's victims to be able to gain weight much easier, have more trouble losing weight, have abnormal hair gain and loss (fun times), have insulin resistance that leads to diabetes, as well as my least favorite...infertility. So my new plan of attack is something I've never tried before. I've gone Keto...lol. If you don't know what that means, you should totally research it. It pretty much means really low carb with a high fat combo. It is one of the most successful weighs someone with PCOS can lose weight, and even after weigh-loss, a low card diet is recommended to maintain weight-loss and a healthy life. I have NEVER lived a low-carb life. Breads and Pastas are my JAM!! I seriously didn't even know if I had it in me. I started last Saturday because I found out about a Weight-loss competition on Facebook that had a $750 pot for the 1st place winner as well as some other prizes. I've been looking for something like this to get me going again, because my competitive nature comes out and helps push me even harder toward my goals!

My starting weight this go around was 385.6, only 0.4 away from my all-time highest weight. I hate that I let that happen. It sure does make me kick myself. I did my measurements (which I'm going to log at the bottom for my own reference later since I lost mine last time and the info in my blog is all I have now (changing phones stinks! I lost all of my notes!). Anyways, my hips are bigger than EVER...I knew it too. I actually feel bigger than ever. I can't wait to get some of this off so that I'm not so miserable.

So I'm 10 days in. I haven't been able to do anywhere near as much exercising as I have been in the past. I walked 5 miles last week (part of the challenge) and ended up with blisters on both of my feet. My feet are REALLY holding me back at the moment. Every time I exercise I have insane burning that lasts for several hours. I will work through it. It will just take time and persistence.

I've got this! I can do this. I just have to quit quitting. Haha.

**I've decided not to post any of my food stuff on here this time; primarily because it was insanely time-consuming. I log all of my food choices through MyFitnessPal so you are welcome to join me there. :)



Starting Measurements: on 9/29/17

Neck - 15
Hips - 70
Waist - 55
Right Arm - 23
Left Arm - 24
Right Thigh - 45
Left Thigh - 43.5
Calves: R-20 L-21
Bust - 52

BMI 60.5
BMR 2437

Xoxo...Honor