Day 178, 179, & 180: MIA

Really sorry to all of my readers that I've missed so many days. I have a severe abscess on my upper thigh and I am MISERABLE because of it. I have pretty much been miserable and running a fever.

So hopefully I will be able to share a real blog tomorrow. :)

<3 Honor

Day 177: Weigh Day-Saw it coming

Yea...I wasn't to surprised to see no weight loss on the scale this morning. Frustrated, yes...but not surprised. I did a WHOLE lot better on my food choices this week. But as I've said before...I have to put in the Cardio to see real results. I did good yesterday, getting my fee wet in the gym. I did 20 minutes on the Arc Trainer, and I still have enough energy to do more, but I went to bible study.

This morning after getting on the scale, I just wasn't hungry. It hurt my feelins. And I have a general rule that I will eat within 1 hour of getting up to keep my metabolism on the right track during the day, plus I try to eat about every three hours or so. Even if it's jut a small piece of fruit or something. But I didn't even realize I hadn't eaten until I got the hunger pang at noon! Whoops! So I had the banana that I brought with me.

I guess I was vulnerable, I don't know, but I brought a nice healthy lunch (fueled by weigh in blues) and then a friend of mine stops by and asks if I would go eat Mexican for lunch. First I said no...but I ended up going :( and I hate it! But the guilt got to me bad enough that I really pounded it out in the gym! I did 17 minutes on the Elipticle and an hour of Zumba. That was the biggest workout I've had in a while! An afterwards I was tired...but really proud of myself!! So this week is going to be a good week. I sure hope so anyways :-)

<3 Honor

Day 176: Thankful for nice People!

Well I expected today to be full of the same old same old but it actually wasn't to bad! Well it was definitely hectic for a while, but hectic is better than bore out of my mind :) Plus, I made my sits and sales goal for work before lunch! So that made for a stress free afternoon. I had two really sweet sisters do walkins before lunch and they both had little babies that did good for me so I went to lunch a happy camper. Poor Ariel isn't having as good of a day as me, but I'm sure it will all work out. :)

I've been doing really good about packing my lunches so that I'm sure I have good healthy food to eat. Plus I like being able to 'look forward' to what I've brought. :-) today it was turkey and cheese roll-ups, celery with peanut butter(just a hint for flavor) baby carrots, & cantelope. Yum! And then I had the afternoon ahead of me. Four more hours of work...not bad. I ha another nice lady with cute kids, so the afternoon went pretty well too! Yay! I had a crazy few hours after work because I had to grab a sub for dinner, then go get a little workout at the gym, and then head to bible study (better late than never) and got home around 10:30. The problem with all of that is that I ate dinner earlier than usual and ended up snacking on some not so healthy choices. Not terrible, but could have been better. I know that's on me, but it's HARD. Part of it is that I've been brow-beating myself all day because the sale has not been kind to me this week. It hasn't budged one but. But we'll see what happens tomorrow. If I believed in the magic 8-ball I think it would tell me, "Outlook not good" lol. Oh well...I'm fired up for next week!
<3 Honor

Day 175: Seems Important...

Lol as my title would suggest...Day 175 sounds like a big deal!! But the big deal to me is that I haven't progressed worth crap in about 50 days! I know I got hurt, but dang! That's a hard pill to swallow. And although I've been making much better eating choices this week, I have not found the time to get much cardio in. :( So the scale has had nothing nice to say to me. Boo.

I have to just MAKE the time. It's only 9:30 and I've already had dinner a little bit ago, so I'm thinking about doing a little laundry to add a little more time between dinner and bed, and then going to bed early and heading to the gym in the morning. I can do this! There is no reason why I can't!

Today was a good food day! I got up and had my oatmeal and a mango for breakfast...it was my first experience in cutting up a fresh mango and it was good! Before I went to work I had a veggie and fruit lunch. Lol. Added a little peanut butter for protein. And then after work I had some Doc's chili in the freezer already all proportioned so I threw it in the microwave for an easy dinner :-) and now I'm on the couch lazily watching tv instead of doing anything important!

So I'm off to do laundry...maybe. Haha
<3 Honor

Day 174: She works Hard for the Money

Ok...sometimes I really do work hard for the money I make! Lol. When I have a two year old in the studio that is not about to do anything that isn't his idea! Thank goodness my first appointment of the day was the only one for a few hours! Because I used it all up! It typically takes me about fifteen minutes to capture 9-12 super cute poses that will have the parents overjoyed when they start to order pics. And then there's two year olds, almost two year olds, and three year olds that are still acting like they're two! Haha. And that's exactly what my first session was. A terrible two year old. Lol. He was super cute and insanely smart!! And his parents were obviously very good with him, but no matter how good the parent...those terrible twi's can beat ya. And I spent over an HOUR getting some sellable images of that kiddo! But the parents were awesome, because they blame me sometimes for their children's behaviors and I hate that! I was worried that I would be starving by the time I got done with them because I was running late this morning and only managed to grab a banana and a V8 Fusion+Energy drink. I don't know of they really give me any energy or not but I love them because it's 50 calories of YUM and has a serving of fruit and veggies in it!

I've been trying really hard to cut out my morning snack to try to save more calories for later in the day since I seem to screw up so much later in the day. I did great yesterday...until I had a blizzard AFTER eating Mexican with my sis. Eating out is BAAAAF for me! And I've just really got to quit!

I made it to lunch today and then I pigged out (on healthy stuff) I had 440 calories worth of veggies, fruit, a little deli turkey, and a yogurt. And I Barely was able to eat the yogurt! Lol. But if I hadn't eaten it it would have spoiled and plus, I really needed the probiotics in the yogurt. So next time I'll have to leave something out! It's always jars for me to get all of my veggies in. I'm just not a fan of hardly any veggies! Brocolli, baby carrots, green beans and tomatoes that's it. I can sneak some celery in there occasionally with some veggie dip, and lettuce on a sandwich. But that is definitely one of my toughest food obstacles.

After work I did a little shopping with my hubby and came home to fix dinner and thanks to having to shop, I ate at 9:30! Wow! See why I stay up so late! I watched a little tv and now here it is midnight and I'm ready to go out for the night! Lol.
Hasta Lavista! Baby. Hehe
<3 Honor

Day 173: It's gonna be loooong

Yep. I've decided it's going to be a very long week. I worked shorter shifts earlier this week and have shorter ones later next week. So that means the next five days I'm working a lot of hours and I'm not excited about it. :( And today was the starter that got me into that frame of mind. Work is dead at the moment. I don't know why, but it is. And I've got news for the people who run my company...I can't force people to get pics taken.

The afternoon went way better than the morning because I had a really sweet girl being her baby in and she was six months old and had just gotten her home from the hospital for the first time. She was born with her intestines in the outside of her body and she was super sweet and so thankful to have her baby girl. It was contagious! So that made my evening go a lot better :) plus I had some nice talks with Ariel who was working in the Cape studio yesterday, so that helped the time go by.

After work I went to eat with my sister. It was great to catch up! Our schedules conflict a lot now with her new job, so I rarely see her during the week, and I'm used to seeing her a LOT during the week. It's definitely a change. And I'm not adjusting well to it! Lol.

I didn't get home until after ten, so I did a little bit of dishes, and watched a little tv and then I was down for the count! Lol. Somehow I still didn't get to bed until after midnight though...I've got to figure out how to fix that! Lok

Good night!
<3 Honor

Day 171 & 172: Why Do I Let It Get Me?

You know, for some reason I let my days off be the hardest for me these days...I used to consider them the EASIEST! I mean, I have more time for the gym...which is of the utmost importance for my weight loss..but wait...I DIDN'T EVEN GO TO THE GYM!!  Seriously?! I LOVE the gym!! I've just fallen out of the habit of going...I make excuses like: I'll be doing so much today that I'll burn the calories I need to, or I'll get to worn out and not be able to do the stuff at home that I need to..well guess what I did today...NOTHING! I was in a lazy, fat girl FUNK and accomplished zilch!  So here it is after 10pm at night, and I mad at myself, feeling like I let myself down again, and I know I have a crazy busy work weekend ahead of me, so I'm not going to get any working out in this weekend either...so guess what that will mean on the scale? ARGH!!!!

I don't know what I'm going to do yet, but I've GOT to do something...even if it's a ton of jumping jacks and running in place at work! LOL, I always tell myself I can do that kind of stuff at work, but I never do. And I don't know what the mind game is, but if I don't workout...my eating sucks too! What kind of sense does THAT make? I can tell you exactly what it is though: If I work out, I'm tired and worn out and not ABOUT to waste all that effort I put in to the workout! Lol....so I have GOT to get it together.

I absolutely HATE feeling like a failure, and lately, even though I've lost nearly 70 pounds in less than 6 months, I still feel that way, because I've absolutely wasted the past four weeks. And I fell out of routine, I didn't give up...but I came close enough, and I refuse to go back to the way things were. I was miserable, my marriage suffered, my faith suffered, my career...everything...and I can NOT go back to that...

I know this is a totally unhealthy thought: but I have to share...just in case someone else is feeling this...at the end of the day...when I've make poor eating choices, or just eaten to much of the healthy stuff even...I have had this sickening and terrifying thought that I wish I could just puke all those bad choices up. Problem solved right? WRONG! I can't believe I have even let my brain go there! THAT is not a fix to any problem, in fact, it's just a NEW one that's far more likely to cause serious damage than a bad day is. I have got to get to the bottom of my food addiction issues and figure out how to help myself. I don't know why I eat and eat and eat...even when I'm not hungry, but I'll succumb to cravings because I just can't seem to shake them unless I give my body what it's asking for. So many people say: If you're craving sweets eat some fruit or all sorts of other craving solutions. That doesn't work for me. If I crave something...it's specific...and the craving doesn't go away until I have it...and I can't seem to have just a bit or only have it every now and then. If  I crave a strawberry cheesequake blizzard from DQ, then a 150 calorie cone at McDonald's is not going to get rid of that craving...so I have to find a way to overcome my cravings...and it SUCKS!

Ok, I think I'm done ranting for a short time. :)
<3 Honor

Day 170: Weigh Day...

Ok, so now that it's the end of the week I will tell you all what has been going on...it's hard to share hen you are failing WHILE you are still failing. Which, I'm sure it's been pretty noticeable, but here goes.

It's been almost four weeks since my knee injury. And as far as real exercise goes, I've done a total of one hour of Zumba (30 minutes at the Relay, an made it through 30 minutes two weeks ago before the pain set in) and that's about it up until this week. Plus, my eating choices have been crap. I was up by 8 pounds!! How disgusting! I know I had an injury, but dang. Ad every time I would get in the scale I would get more and more depressed about it and wonder if I was ever going to get back on track 100%. I hadn't completely let go, but I just can't anymore. But, I fell in to some old patterns and hid behind a bum knee.

My knee is better. But it still hurts. And it may stay that way. But I've GOT o find a way to make this happen around the knee pain. And when I got on the scale, my change in attitude had definitely paid off. I lost half of the 8! 4 pounds down this week!

And I'm PRAYING the other 4 goes next week. I know that's a big expectation, but I've GOT to get headed back in the right direction. And the eating is soooooo hard for me. I have to have such a vigorous workout schedule because I'm constantly screwing up on my food. Which is something I'm definite trying to work on. I don't have time to workout 10-12 hours a week and keep up with my position at work, church and activities with church, and my cake orders, and the housework. It's just to much. So, I've GOT to make better eating choices and really stick with it. I've been doing really good this last week.

Let's see how good this week can go :)
<3 Honor

Day 169: Mowing x 1000!

Well today was a short day at work. I only had to work 4 hours. So when I got up I had already decided that I was going to have a good day. Ten I went to work....lol

It was the LONGEST four hours EVER! Haha. I got a call from our Tech people and he was helping work out some issues with my computer and I brought up a problem I was having with my printer which turned out to be a cord that had to be replaced. I had a replacement, so it was up to me to change it. The only problem is that the original cord is run up a wall, through the ceiling, and then back down through another wall. I have no tools nor experience to make that happen. So the cord is now ran straight through the middle of my studio! Boo on that!

After I finally got off of work I went to the gym and did 15 minutes on the Arc Trainer. It's not much, but it's a re-start. I didn't want to overdo it with my knee because I knew I was about to be headed home to mow the yard, and I needed to save enough energy for that! I mowed for 90 minutes and burned just over 1000 calories! That's some good stuff right there! After Jamie and I finished up the yard (he used the rider in the back while I pushed the front and sides) and we got everything all picked up, then I had to come in and relax for a bit, because my whole body was humming from the vibration of the mower! Lol!

We ended up fixing and easy dinner and cuddling up on the couch to watch movies. :) It was a very good night. And for once, I didn't feel like a slacker for watching TV because I felt like I earned the right! Lol

I wanted to say thank you for all of you very wonderful words of encouragement following my blog yesterday. Some of you private messages and some on my blog. I appreciated every single one of them. And some of them made me cry! Lol.

Thank you for being there for me!
<3 Honor

Day 168:Mother's Day Blues

I love my momma. She underestimates herself and has no idea how good of a mother she really is. She raised my sister and I all by herself until I was 11 and taught us so many valuable lessons. My mom is the most honest person I know. She wouldn't even fib to a friend if we were fighting and I asked her to tell them I was asleep or something!

I went to church with mom and dad this morning and then my sister and I went to get something to eat and brought it to their house because dad can't really eat hardly at all anymore so that was a way we could all eat together. My daddy's health isn't only taking a toll on him, but it's really taken a toll on my momma. I hate that. It's hard enough to see one of them sick. But both is almost more than I can handle.

I stayed busy with my family until I was on my way to work a little before three. And on my way to work I had to much time to think and let my emotions take over. Mother's Day is always really hard for me. It's like a big fat notification that I'm still not a mother. Which is one thing I think I want more than anything else. Not to mention I know it's what my hubby wants and my momma is dying to have a grand baby. :( So its the day that I feel more like a failure than any other day of the year. On one hand I tell myself that it's not my fault I have infertility issues. And on the other hand I KNOW that the type of infertility that I have can be greatly impacted by weightloss and for the past 9 years I've done nothing but Gain weight. So yea, it's my fault. And it hurts. And I hate it. I was in my studio alone because my first appointment didn't show up. And my emotions were spilling over just as someone really special to me walked up. Apparently my emotions were written all over my face, because all she had to do was say, "What's wrong?" and I just lost it. She was there at the EXACT moment that I needed her and I know that was a God thing. Because I just needed to let it out to someone who would understand my craziness and know just what to say. And she was the perfect person for the job.
:-)

So I've got to let my Hurt in this situation fuel me for the next six months or so because that's how long I have to stay on birth control(I know it's dumb, but that's just how it is when you have PCOS) and then hopefully I'll be all straightened out (and much thinner) and able to start Really planning for a pregnancy. I'm terrified that it won't work. But my doctor seems to be very positive. So I'm going to go with that. But that means I have to stay focused and keep my eye on the prize. And today, even though we had Mexican, I stayed well within my calorie goal. And I'm going to keep doing that.

Every day...

No excuses...

So if you hear me start making excuses again you better call me out on it! Lol. I don't have any more time to waste with excuses.

Thank you for supporting me :)
<3 Honor

Day 167: Family

I watched the Biggest Loser finale last night and I'm always amazed at how gorgeous these people look in the end! I know there were a whole lot of people that hated Conda this season, but to me, she came in there with an attitude. Ok...we all have our moments. But I really think she did a lot of changing through the season. And she looked beautiful at the finale. They all did. It always makes me yearn to try to get on the show. Lol. But that's just not in this sisters cards. We have to have my income to pay our bills. I know how to lose it. I just do so well in a competition atmosphere and they teach you so much about keeping it off that is invaluable information.

I had a really good day today. I only had to work for 4 hours and then I got to go hang out with some of my cousins for their birthday BBQ. It was nice to spend a Saturday evening hanging out with family and enjoying their company. I wish we had the opportunity to do it more often!

I'm going to bed early tonight because I'm really tired. Lol.
<3 Honor

Day 166: I knew I had it in there!

Today has been a good one. I actually got up and packed my lunch, which makes me feel good, because then its just easier to make healthier choices because it's all right there for me. I bought these wraps made by Flat Out and they are 100 calories per wrap and not to bad! I can't seem to find anything yummy and low cal to put on my wraps though. I'm going to look up some stuff and see if I can come up with anything and if I do I'll be sure to share. :)

Work actually seemed to fly by today. I got to take pictures of a friends beautiful almost four year old baby and she did fabulous! And then one of my girls that work for me came in and did family pics that turned out really great! And I got a SUPER cute maternity pic of her with her hubby. :-)) the rest of the day went by pretty quick! And thank goodness it did, because I was there for 10 hours! I did so great on my food until after work :( I went grocery shopping and got some really good stuff. I even found a ranch 2 calorie spray! I will be trying that out tomorrow.

But then I was super hungry and lost my stinking mind long enough to convince myself into going through a drive thru. :( and I felt AWFUL afterward...so why did I give in?? I don't know! I felt down right stupid afterward. Why spend so much effort all day to do good just to spoil it in the end. I CAN do this!

I got a bike today. See I made so many good decisions today. But dinner was my downfall. BOO!! Tomorrow will be better because I made it all the way to 9:00 tonight without messing up. And tomorrow I will make it ALL day! Bet!!
(pray for me, lol, no but really!) :-)) You know I love you guys :-)

I only have to work 4 hours tomorrow! I'm so excited about that! Then I get to
go to a birthday party for my cousin Jessica and her hubby. Woohoo. :-) then I think I'm gonna have to do some prep work for two cakes that I have to make this week. A safari baby shower and a graduation cake. :)

Goodnight!
<3 Honor

Day 164 & 165: My Baby :(

Well it's been a crazy two days that have been busy and of course I didn't get nearly half of what I wanted to get done on my days off. :(

Yesterday morning my day started out awful. I opened my front door to find my 7 month old kitty all mangled up and looking like a wild boar took a swing at him. We went to the vet to see if he could be saved and found out that he had a broken jaw and paralysis in his leg. The jaw required surgery which they did yesterday evening and the leg is a nerve that may heal and restore feeling or may be severed and leave him paralyzed on the leg forever. Only time will tell. It broke my heart. He is my baby because a little girl found him in a ditch and brought him to my front door at about three weeks old and I nursed him with a bottle until he could eat. I am his momma in the only way he knows. And he stayed in the house until I found out that he was refusing to use the litter box with my other two cats. So I ended up putting them all out when it warmed up. He loved it outside so he adjusted better than the other two. I'm just really sad that this happened. The vet said that he was definitely hit by a car.

So besides all of THAT drama, I also had a cake to make for my little cousins and I'm really happy with the way it turned out! It was really cute!

The birthday party turned out great, but I'm pretty sure I did nothing but damage to my food intake. I don't know what my deal is. I was watching The Biggest Loser tonight, which always gets me fired up, and thinking why can't I get my crap together. I'm strong! I know EXACTLY what it takes...get to it woman!! Lol

Goodnight! Talk to you all tomorrow...
<3 Honor

Day 163: Peeping Tom

Ok, call me a peeping Tom if you must. Lol. But I was checking out my stats on here, which I haven't done in a while and I saw that I'm still averaging around 45 readers a day! Wow that's a LOT! To me it is anyways. Haha. I thought surely some of you MUST be getting sick of hearing me babble by now! And who knows...maybe some have, and they've just been replaced by new readers. :-) In any case, I'm glad you're here. Even if I don't see you or know who most of you are, knowing that you are counting on me to share my day, my successes and my failures...that fuels me, and keeps me moving forward.

I've been watching this seasons Biggest Loser and I'm about half way through the season so far and it really gets my fire burning! I am IN THIS and need to step off of the excuse train. I I WILL be sharing my weight next Tuesday...good or bad...and I WILL get this train moving in the right direction again. Period. I know I keep saying that. But my fire hasn't burnt out people!!

I'll talk more tomorrow. Lol
<3 Honor

Day 162: Funky Cake

Today was a short day at work. I can honestly say that I didn't accomplish much at work because one of my girls came in to pick up her pics and she just came home from being out of town for a long weekend and sober spent a little time visiting and then a little later my cousin came by and we ended up talking about her world and life and a lot of stuff and we ended up going to eat after I got off and finishing our conversation and just had a good visit. Then I came home and helped my honey put a desk together for his momma. THAT was a challenge. Lol. We always seem to have blond moments when we put things together.

Afterward, we went to bible study, together...that was a nice change. I was very proud of him because he behaved himself. :) Mostly. Lol. Our small group was definitely small tonight. If we hadn't had visitors from another group it would have been tiny! Of course that's what happens when 3 couples are out for different reasons. Lol. But we still had a good bible study. I really enjoyed it and if course I enjoyed the company. :)

Now I'm home and it's late and I'm going to stay up even later because I have some cakes in the oven for my cousins kiddos birthday party. It's going to be so cute! I'm doing a two tier and the bottom tier is white cake that I dyed three different colors and out into the baking pan all funky so it's going to be very cool looking. I'll attach a pic of the batter before I cooked them. :)

Good night!
<3 Honor

Day 161: Ants in Your Pants

Today was a 10-7 work day that went pretty steady. I went to my sisters place for lunch and had nearly the same thing as yesterday. Lol. The company is nice. And I can only do that on the weekends because she will usually work past 2 during the week. So I just had to take advantage while I could!

Work was very uneventful except that my very good friend Olivia came to pick up pictures of her family so I got to see her for 5 whole minutes! Darn being busy! Lol. This woman is disappearing on me! She's lost nearly 50 pounds and was much smaller than I am when she started so she's almost to her goal weight and looking FANTASTIC! I have to admit that I'm jealous! Lol. I know that I will get there one day, but it's going to take me longer. That's just the reality of my situation.

The number one priority it me right now is getting cardio back into my routine! I have to have it to lose weight. My body won't let go of my fat unless I do. Part of it is due to the fact that I can't seem to be 'strict' enough on what I eat. No matter how hard I try, it seems that every day I do something that isn't acceptable, as far as food choices go, in my rule book. So I have to exercise. A lot. I HAVE to get the scale going down again. It seems I am plateaued and I'm super mad about it. On the other hand, my knee is really feeling better, so I'm going to hit the gym for a bit tomorrow and see what I can do and PRAY that it doesn't hurt!

My cousin has two kids that have birthdays just a few days apart in the beginning of May, so I am helping her throw a Luau Birthday party for them and, of course, make a cake. :-) I got some cute little hula dancers and a couple of other figurines for the cake and I'll be putting it together this week. Fun stuff!

So my title says Ants in Your pants and that's because that's how I feel right now. Jamie and I have decided that we want to move into town. I hate the 15 minute drive to town because I spend so much time IN town and it's insanely inconvenient to live out of town. Plus our electric bill just eats its alive!! But we have every intention of doing it the 'right' way. That means saving up plenty of money for a deposit and first months rent. Plus I want to be able to use a Uhaul so that it's easier. I don't know how long it will be but I have been thinking about it non-stop!! Lol.

Have a good night!
<3 Honor

Day 160: Humbled

Today was a good day. I state relatively busy at work, so the day didn't drag. I went to have lunch at my sister's house and since she is off on the weekends now, she already had my lunch in the microwave when I got there. :-) I could get used to that! I had a Healthy Choice Steamer and some multi-grain Pringles with a yogurt. Yum! And one of the reasons I went to her house is because I totally forgot to make the food I said I would or our church dinner tonight *Sponsered by our small group* so it was pretty important that I bring what I said I would! Lol. So she came to the store before my lunch and helped me get the ingredients I needed for Broccoli Cauliflower Salad mmmmMmmm!!!! Lol. And I made it on my lunch break. :-)

Then I only had a few hours of work left before I headed to church. I haven't been on a Saturday night in a while and I absolutely LOVE my Saturday night Worship! So the reason we were having a dinner was as a thank you to some men who are incarcerated in the Chaffee jail. Yep. You heard me right. The Chief of police over there comes to Terra Nova and he has been bringing 6 men to the church once or twice a week for a while now and they have been doing the construction of our church! (It's an old skating rink that we are remodeling and it was a dilapidated mess a year ago and it has come a LONG way in a year) they are not forced to come, but they do, and they have put a lot of hard work into our church and never even been to a service! So we got it arranged so that they could come I
Church and their families were invited and we had a thank you dinner afterward. Four of the men came. These are men who have had Jesus poured into them during this construction process and they have learned a lot. And at the end of the service ever single one of them want forward to start a journey of life change. It was AMAZING! My sister and with me and we were both overwhelmed by emotion. I mean, we all sin, we all have done bad things, and some of us have done things that could land us right there next to those men had we gotten caught. So it was definitely a humbling experience that left me shaken and craving a closer relationship with God even more!!

On another note: I didn't do to bad on my calories! Lol. I had some good food and stuck right around 1800 for the day. I'm not sad about that!

I'm exhausted and have a million things to do that I won't get done. Lol. So night night!
<3 Honor

Day 159: The Greek is NOT on my side! Lol

Today was better. I set out with a determined mine and a busy day. I worked all day so that keep me busy. I had a granola bar for breakfast, I know I should be having some oatmeal or something like an egg white scramble, but most mornings that's just not practical for me. As I've said before, I'm not an early riser.

So I had my Nature's Valley granola bar, which I used to think wasn't filling at all, but if you wait 15 minutes after you eat, you'll realize that you're not hungry anymore! Besides the fact that I'm usually not really hungry for breakfast in the first place.

They have these new chips called Chip-Ins that are made out of popcorn and I LOVE them. I can't buy them very often, because I usually eat way to many. But I did good today.

For lunch I had a 270 calorie Premade chef salad and I decided to try Greek yogurt. Epic Fail. Lol. I got this kind that had strawberry flavoring in it and got a banana thinking I could mix it together and it would be super yummy. Uh...negative....it tasted more like sour cream with strawberries and bananas added! Yuck! Lol. But I ate it like a good little girl.

For dinner, one of my cousins and her hubby, and their super cute baby, and my sis all went to the China Buffet. I do alright there usually because they have the grill where you can have them cook fresh for you and I always do that. But I did have some butter pecan ice cream and a little bit of cheesecake. Ahhhh. Haha, but I had the calories left, so no shame here.

All in all, I feel like the day was a success. No exercise, because it was a 10 hour work day and after dinner I had a cake to finish, which turned out beautiful. So I'm happy. :-)

Have a great day tomorrow!
<3 Honor

Day 157 & 158:No More Excuses

Well yesterday I went on a nature walk with a friend of mine and it was really nice. And then I went and had WAAAAAAAAY toast calories at Denny's. I was very disappointed in myself afterwards. And then today I made some homage muffins and those weren't to bad on calories, but I let Jamie talk me into Pizza for lunch and I had Ramen Noodles in the afternoon. GOSH!! Why is it that it's so hard to make good food choices!! I've been doing this rodeo since late November, I know that I can do it...yet I keep failing over and over again!

Food has always been my thorn. And with my knee being injured so that I can't burn calories the way I need to I'm going the wrong way to easily. It's very frustrating! I need my knee to get better and stay that way. It makes me crazy how easily a pound comes in when it is so HARD to take off!

I need a competition to enter. Lol. It seems to make things so much easier! But no, that's exactly why I have to do it on my own. Because I have to learn how to do it without having someone or something else drive me. I never expected it to be this much harder after the competition, but the truth is, I am failing. And I hate it! I do really great in the morning and afternoon and then by early evening I start craving and snacking and I blow it.

I pray that I can do what I need to do to see that number start to go down again. I am NOT happy with where I am, and to reach the goals I have set for myself I have GOT to get into gear.

I think I will adopt the Biggest Loser Mantra from the season that just ended. No Excuses. I make them one after another. Tomorrow is a new day and I am going to embrace it and make it count. I have to. Because I can't be stuck in this body.

Good night friends say a prayer for me if you will :-)
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Day 156: Something New

I tried something new today. You have to understand that I go in to work at 10. So I usually stay up until midnight or later (usually aim for midnight) and get up around 9 o get ready for work. So my schedule is a little different from most people. I usually work until 7 or 8, and then if I go to the gym before I come home I get home around 9 or 9:30 and then I eat dinner....then I need to be up for 2 hours after I eat...it's midnight...see...I can't hardly change that. It's just the way my schedule goes. But even if I make it to bed at midnight I get up at 9 that's 9 hours of sleep...if I go to bed at 11...I still get up at 9...that's 10, and I'm thinking more than my body needs...but I CRAVE sleep! It's doesn't matter what time I go to bed, I just can't seem to get up before 9, and it's honestly usually closer to 9:30, then I end up running around like a chicken with my head cut off and not getting to sit down and eat breakfast. What a mess!

So I did it all different today. I took a shower last night. And then I went to sleep way later than usual...so I was afraid that might screw my plan up. But I usually wake up naturally between 8 and 8:15. I dot know if it's the sunlight coming in through the windows or what, but recently I've been like that almost every day. And I did today too! But instead of rolling over and catching another hour or so of sleep I went ahead and got up. I took care of my animals, had a time for bible study, made myself an omelet/scramble for breakfast AND packed my lunch...of course I was running a little late by the time all was said and done, but hey, one thing at a time!! Lol.

So I should be weighing in this morning, especially since I didn't do it last Tuesday...but it's not good. My ankles are swollen, I've been sick for nearly the past two weeks, which oddly for me means I gained weight, and things just aren't pretty. But I am back on the bandwagon. For real. I've wasted to much time per the last month and haven't seen nearly the results I anticipated before hand. No more excuses. Ok, well maybe a few, but time to get back on teach 100%.

Maybe I need to push mow my yard. Lol. That burns some serious calories! We actually have to push mow because we don't have a rider, but I like talking my hubby into it because he needs the exercise! Lol!!

After work I went to the gym and did Zumba for the first time in two weeks. I was really scared. I went in to it telling myself that I was going to be careful and not push to hard just to test the waters. About 15 minutes in, my knee started bothering me. I pushed through to 30 minutes and then decided I better call it a day for today. Now that I'm home my knee is still bothering me, but not really super bad. I've got to get this knee back in to shape!

I think I have sit here and watch two or three Biggest Loser episodes and now it's nearly 1:00 in the morning and I'm thinking I should have already been in bed! Lol. Jamie and I are planning to go to this place tomorrow that I've never been to that has a boardwalk and fishing. I'm going for the scenery and to take pictures. Jamie is going to fish! Lol! I'm ready to go! But right now, I'm exhausted!

Good night!
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