Today was a stressful day. One of the top dogs of our company was supposedly in our district. No one knew where he was or what exactly he was doing. So I spent my entire work day freaked out. It's not that I don't do my job or anything at all like that. These people just have a history of going in and telling people all kinds of crap and most, if not every last one of them could not even THINK about doing my job. It's annoying. I take pride in my work. And I don't like some arrogant top dog coming around and shaking things up! I went to lunch with my honey and my sissy and it was great! I had to many calories though...so that meant a teeny tiny dinner. I try really hard to make sure I'm eating at least SOMETHING every three to four hours so I can keep my metabolism in gear. So if I make a poor decision early in the day, that means skimping the rest of the day, and I dont like that!
They called an emergency conference call after lunch and told us that four of our studios would be closing (not mine, thank God) and something over 300 are closing in the whole company! We have over 3000 studios so they are taking out the least profitable ones so they can use those resources elsewhere. I can't say that I think it's a bad idea, because I think it's a great idea. But it sure shook up my district and has everyone in pins and needles.
So the big Whig is still supposed to be in our area tomorrow, but I think he went back to the home office because of this new studio closure mess. I do t know, but I only work 4 hours tomorrow so yippee!!
Zumba was fun tonight, but I started yawning and kept on yawning over and over!! I don't know what was up with my body, but it got to a point that it was actually PAINFUL! I stuck it out for and hour and a half and then Elizabeth and I decided to go sit in the sauna and relax our muscles. :-)
Sleep tight!
<3 Honor
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Day 93: Weigh-In number Thirteen
Thirteen weeks...that's three months of changing my life. Never being perfect, but striving to do better all the time. So the question for me was...did I manage to pull a negative number on the scale on the unlucky thirteenth week? Well...yes I DID! In fact, I got one of the best numbers I've had in a few weeks and pulled out a 3.8 pound weight-loss!! So I am now at 290.4, which puts me at a 59.4 pounds total lost! I'm so excited that I will most likely be back in the 280's next week!!! I haven't been in the 280's in THREE years! Another couple of interesting things is that I checked BMI, and it has gone down 10 points! Wow! So now I'm just a little over 6 points away from being OUT of the Morbid Obesity Category. I figured it up and that will be somewhere around 245 pounds. So that's a new goal :-) it was actually a wake-up call to realize that I've been morbidly obese for over the past 6 or 7 years! I sure didn't realize that!! My other interesting thing is that I measured today and I have lost a FOOT (12") off of my body!!!! That was my second Inches goal. :-) my next one is two feet so that one will take me a while!
I'm doing it! I'm REALLY doing it!! I can't WAIT to get into the 270's!! I haven't been there in more than 4 years! Even longer than that I think! It makes me wan to go run around the block! Lol. But I would be arrested since I'm in my PJ's and Lord know things would be shaking all over!! Haha
So after my relaxing morning, I headed to Dexter with my sis to meet my parents for lunch and we had a really great time! My dad's were up a lot! And he was in a really good mood!! Afterward we got to go visit with a cousin of mine and I really enjoyed that too! Then it was time to head home and get ready for my workout. :) today was Ypump and Zumba and I worked my butt off!! Then I headed straight to ladies bible study.
Now, I am headed to Dexter to work out with my mama as usual. It has been a really great day, and I've been on cloud nine!
Have a good night!
<3 Honor
I'm doing it! I'm REALLY doing it!! I can't WAIT to get into the 270's!! I haven't been there in more than 4 years! Even longer than that I think! It makes me wan to go run around the block! Lol. But I would be arrested since I'm in my PJ's and Lord know things would be shaking all over!! Haha
So after my relaxing morning, I headed to Dexter with my sis to meet my parents for lunch and we had a really great time! My dad's were up a lot! And he was in a really good mood!! Afterward we got to go visit with a cousin of mine and I really enjoyed that too! Then it was time to head home and get ready for my workout. :) today was Ypump and Zumba and I worked my butt off!! Then I headed straight to ladies bible study.
Now, I am headed to Dexter to work out with my mama as usual. It has been a really great day, and I've been on cloud nine!
Have a good night!
<3 Honor
Monday, February 27, 2012
Day 92: Funeral & Dad & Cake
Today I started my day off by going to the funeral of a friends step-dad. I wasn't really close to him, but the friend is the same friend I spoke of a few days ago that met me at the gym and wanted me to help her workout and give her tips on how I was losing weight. The funeral was really hard for my sister and I because we almost lost our step-dad last year. So while we were sitting there it just really hit home. My step-dad has been in my life since I was 11, and to me...he's Dad. He's the only father figure I've ever had and I love him with all of my heart! So coming that close to losing him was extremely difficult. He's not out of the woods yet, in fact, he'll probably never be the way he was before he got sick. But because he did get so sick and lost 100 pounds (down to 124 at his lowest and he's 6'2") in a six month span and he just kept getting worse and worse and weaker and weaker and it just came to a point to where my sister and I both were beginning to prepare ourselves for what seamed to be inevitable at that time. I remember thinking that he had given up, and mom told me one day that he was in so much pain that he would cry out to God to just take him home. It killed me! I felt utterly helpless and didn't even know what to say to him, but I wanted him to just be better!
So late last summer the VA finally got him a motorized scooter, because he is pretty much confined to a wheelchair except to make short transfers from the house to the car and such. The day he got the scooter...he got some of his independence back. And even though he's lost so much of his vision that he can't really see very well at all, he still rode that scooter all over the place. And that's when he started getting better. He started to get his will to live back, and he started gaining weight. My parents were making bi-weekly trips to St. Louis cause his blood count kept dropping to the point that he had to start getting blood transfusions every two to four weeks and now they've made it only monthly visits and this is the second or third month in a row that he hasn't had to get a transfusion! My parents actually had to go to St. Louis today so I guess that's why this was on my mind so much today. Oh and he's up to 176 pounds now and is starting to get a little bit of a belly back. :) I don't know if the doctor's would say that's good, but at least he's getting some meat back on his bones!
So yea, we went to that funeral and all of the past 18 months came flooding back to me. At this point we have so much hope towards my dad's recovery, but a funeral sure did get me thinking about stuff.
After the funeral I had to rush home and get a cake iced and decorated for a new friend of mine that I go to Zumba with and she's the sister-in-law to one of my girls in the studio. She's renewing her wedding vows tonight and needed a cake, so I told her I would love to make it:) now its 4:30 and I've got the cake all finished and chilling and setting up so I can drop it off when I head to The gym. :)
Speaking of which, I better wrap this up and get headed that way! Have a great evening my friends! And thanks for being there and lifting me up when I'm down!
<3 Honor
So late last summer the VA finally got him a motorized scooter, because he is pretty much confined to a wheelchair except to make short transfers from the house to the car and such. The day he got the scooter...he got some of his independence back. And even though he's lost so much of his vision that he can't really see very well at all, he still rode that scooter all over the place. And that's when he started getting better. He started to get his will to live back, and he started gaining weight. My parents were making bi-weekly trips to St. Louis cause his blood count kept dropping to the point that he had to start getting blood transfusions every two to four weeks and now they've made it only monthly visits and this is the second or third month in a row that he hasn't had to get a transfusion! My parents actually had to go to St. Louis today so I guess that's why this was on my mind so much today. Oh and he's up to 176 pounds now and is starting to get a little bit of a belly back. :) I don't know if the doctor's would say that's good, but at least he's getting some meat back on his bones!
So yea, we went to that funeral and all of the past 18 months came flooding back to me. At this point we have so much hope towards my dad's recovery, but a funeral sure did get me thinking about stuff.
After the funeral I had to rush home and get a cake iced and decorated for a new friend of mine that I go to Zumba with and she's the sister-in-law to one of my girls in the studio. She's renewing her wedding vows tonight and needed a cake, so I told her I would love to make it:) now its 4:30 and I've got the cake all finished and chilling and setting up so I can drop it off when I head to The gym. :)
Speaking of which, I better wrap this up and get headed that way! Have a great evening my friends! And thanks for being there and lifting me up when I'm down!
<3 Honor
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Day 91: Donut Holes are the devil!
I started my day out great! I had a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, I went to church, had a great time there! Then I dropped by the gas station for a diet coke (I didn't even have one yesterday) and some Sun Chips...yea things were great! I even passed up the donut shelf again...even though my mouth was watering for them! And then it was time to head to work...and then it happened...I pulled in to my favorite donut place and got some donut holes. I ate them with tears in my eyes (pitiful!) and as soon as I stopped, I felt DISGUSTING! My stomach started rumbling...my head started hurting (bad) and I was miserable!! I went on to work and was there maybe 15 minutes before I had to run to the bathroom to be sick. Wow. That's craziness right?! And let me tell ya...I was reminded ALL DAY LONG of how STUPID that rash decision was!! I skipped lunch...primarily because I used my lunch calories on the donut holes, but also because I was still really nauseated! Here it is 8:00 at night and I'm STILL feeling yucky! So, needless to say...no more donut holes! Possibly ever!
Other than that my day was pretty good! I was nice and busy at work. Had great kids and families and ha some great sales! And on my lunch break I got some fruit and a juicer and can't WAIT to try that out! I'm starting with fruit, because I know I like fruit :) and then I'm planning to integrate some vegetables juices in to the mix because I DEFINITELY need more GREEN in my diet! And I got to share a lot of my weight-loss knowledge and stories with a really great Chica that is in my Wal-Mary right now for tax time.
So today is Sunday, which means I haven't worked out in two days and always feel Bleh at this point. But it also means I'm headed to work out with my momma after I try to get a bite to eat. :)
Wish me luck!! And have a great night! I get to make another cake between tonight and tomorrow so that will be fun!
<3 Honor
Other than that my day was pretty good! I was nice and busy at work. Had great kids and families and ha some great sales! And on my lunch break I got some fruit and a juicer and can't WAIT to try that out! I'm starting with fruit, because I know I like fruit :) and then I'm planning to integrate some vegetables juices in to the mix because I DEFINITELY need more GREEN in my diet! And I got to share a lot of my weight-loss knowledge and stories with a really great Chica that is in my Wal-Mary right now for tax time.
So today is Sunday, which means I haven't worked out in two days and always feel Bleh at this point. But it also means I'm headed to work out with my momma after I try to get a bite to eat. :)
Wish me luck!! And have a great night! I get to make another cake between tonight and tomorrow so that will be fun!
<3 Honor
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Day 90: 3 months!!!
Today marks a milestone!!! Three months! If I was in AA I would totally get a special chip for this. :) Today was an awesome day!! I stayed really busy at work and had really great kids and really great sales, which is always the formula for a great day! I got to have lunch with friends and I'm always excited to have company for my lunch hour!! And then I had two different people make comments this evening that just topped it all off! One of the CSM's in my store, that's one of my buddy's said to me, "Honor, you're getting so skinny!" I laughed out loud and said, "what are you talkin about lady? I don't have the S word in my vocabulary...It's more like, 'less pudgy'" Bahahahaha. But seriously...it was great! And I still have a Loooooong ways to go!!
Then my last customer of the day comes in and we do the session and I was visiting with her while I was editing her portraits and I hadn't mentioned at all about my journey to lose weight, and she said, "You've lost quite a bit of weight since the last time I was here, haven't you?" THAT...MADE MY YEAR!! I will NEVER forget How I felt when she said that!! So, how long does it take for someone you don't know, just an acquaintance, to notice your transformation? Well that depends on the person...but for this Chica...it's 90 days!!!! What am AWESOME way to celebrate my 90th day! I think that's BETTER than a chip!! :))) I think I'll be all smiles for the rest of the night!!
I topped off my night with a very nice visit with/dinner with my sis after work. It's so much fun to go to dinner with her. :) I always laugh and have a great time! And tonight was no exception! In fact, I think we might have even laughed more than usual! We were having fun trying to guess the ages of various people that worked in the restaurant and were AMAZED at how far off we were on the people who were younger than us! Wow! 17 & 18 year olds are really looking Way more mature than they should be these days!!!! But we sure had some great laughs about it. :)
My second cake for the week was received by a very happy customer and it turned out great! I'll post a pic to the bottom of my blog tonight since I forgot to last night. Have a good night! I hope you're planning to go to church in the morning! I am!
<3 Honor
Then my last customer of the day comes in and we do the session and I was visiting with her while I was editing her portraits and I hadn't mentioned at all about my journey to lose weight, and she said, "You've lost quite a bit of weight since the last time I was here, haven't you?" THAT...MADE MY YEAR!! I will NEVER forget How I felt when she said that!! So, how long does it take for someone you don't know, just an acquaintance, to notice your transformation? Well that depends on the person...but for this Chica...it's 90 days!!!! What am AWESOME way to celebrate my 90th day! I think that's BETTER than a chip!! :))) I think I'll be all smiles for the rest of the night!!
I topped off my night with a very nice visit with/dinner with my sis after work. It's so much fun to go to dinner with her. :) I always laugh and have a great time! And tonight was no exception! In fact, I think we might have even laughed more than usual! We were having fun trying to guess the ages of various people that worked in the restaurant and were AMAZED at how far off we were on the people who were younger than us! Wow! 17 & 18 year olds are really looking Way more mature than they should be these days!!!! But we sure had some great laughs about it. :)
My second cake for the week was received by a very happy customer and it turned out great! I'll post a pic to the bottom of my blog tonight since I forgot to last night. Have a good night! I hope you're planning to go to church in the morning! I am!
<3 Honor
Day 89: Cake, cake, cake!
Today was great. I had a short day of work in Cape. Then I had a scrumptious chicken salad from Chick-fil-a for lunch. Yum yum. And then I headed home to work on some roses for my zebra cake that is being picked up tomorrow. I had to take a break and go deliver the Barbie cake and I ended up eating with my friends Ariel & Matt. But I was really good! Ariel and I split the entree :)
Then I came back home to get the zebra cake all put together. I was REALLY happy when I made my marshmallow fondant, because it came out almost perfect! So I finished the cake up by around 9:30 and had a little bit of time to hang out with my precious 3 year old nephew.
So, all in all, I had a pretty great day. Now I'm laying in bed, and ready to get some rest before a long day tomorrow! I'm definitely not looking forward to the weekend because I have two kind days of work and no chance to really get a good workout in until Sunday night. Tomorrow night I get the pleasure of cleaning the kitchen up from the hurricane that flew in tonight. :-)
Have a great weekend!
<3 Honor
Then I came back home to get the zebra cake all put together. I was REALLY happy when I made my marshmallow fondant, because it came out almost perfect! So I finished the cake up by around 9:30 and had a little bit of time to hang out with my precious 3 year old nephew.
So, all in all, I had a pretty great day. Now I'm laying in bed, and ready to get some rest before a long day tomorrow! I'm definitely not looking forward to the weekend because I have two kind days of work and no chance to really get a good workout in until Sunday night. Tomorrow night I get the pleasure of cleaning the kitchen up from the hurricane that flew in tonight. :-)
Have a great weekend!
<3 Honor
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Day 88: The epidemic!
I realized something that kind of boggles my mind today. I watch all kinds of different weight-loss shows, and documentaries, and read people's stories and so many of them have a common concern that I never really realized. When they finally take the first step to truly changing their lives for good almost all of them have a very similar concern...they are afraid for their lives and literally are starting the journey because they think they will die really soon if they don't.
That thought NEVER crossed my mind. Not once! I have been extremely blessed with a pretty low amount of medical concerns in my lifetime and have never dealt with the blood pressure, diabetes, heart problems, or any of the other obesity related concerns that other people do. It was never about the length of my life, but always about the Quality of my life that concerned me. I'm just not happy as a fat girl. Ok, wait I am a happy person, who is extremely thankful for the Outpouring of blessings I have been given! I just don't feel like I live up to my tried potential that God has for me as a morbidly obese person.
I think that, (and I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings here) every day I lived in my body and overate, and didn't exercise and stayed satisfied with my lifestyle, EVERY day I feel like I was sinning. I was poisoning my body, and committing a slow suicide. And I am absolutely POSITIVE that that behavior is not pleasing to God.
My sister was watching this show about people who are more than 600 pounds and most of them are holed up in there homes, many unable to even get out of bed and definitely not able to leave their homes without assistance, and some of these people are crying out for help! I don't understand...bed ridden or at least house ridden..someone (usually a family member) is bringing this person their food. How difficult is it to STOP BRINGING THEM THE FOOD THAT IS KILLING THEM!! I mean REALLY! I understand that the pleas for whatever the person might be used to would be hard to deal with, but we are talking about MASSIVE amounts of food these people are feeding their loved ones. It's really sad. And what's even sadder to me is that there are so SO many people 'in hiding' that are dying and no one is doing anything to stop it. I have mental issues with food that caused me to get to where I was. So I know for a fact that these people need mental help! I am so deeply affected by this problem in our world that I can't even begin to tell you how much this bothers me!
Ok, I think I'm done with my rant for now. So believe or not, I've actually had a really great day! Lol, I'm sure that is very hard to believe considering all of the stuff I just threw out there, but I feel rejuvenated! Even though the normal outside world has no idea what I'm doing or how far I've come already, the people in MY world know. And that makes all the difference. At work today, I had a customer call, that I've known since her first baby was born and now she's almost family because her nephew married my cousin! I think he's her nephew...lol. Whatever, they're related! So I love when they come to see me and she called to book an appointment with me, but the first thing she said was, "So how's your journey goin girl?" I LOVE IT! :-) And she told me how proud she was of me and we chatted for a bit, but she really made my day. :) I can't wait until I've lost enough that when I run in to people I haven't seen in a while and they have to take a double take. :-))) that will be the day!!
Well I guess I was long winded today, because this is the longest blog I've had in a while!! I still have lots to do today, including a two hour visit to the gym and bible study tonight!
Have a great evening and enjoy this BEAUTIFUL day!!
<3 Honor
That thought NEVER crossed my mind. Not once! I have been extremely blessed with a pretty low amount of medical concerns in my lifetime and have never dealt with the blood pressure, diabetes, heart problems, or any of the other obesity related concerns that other people do. It was never about the length of my life, but always about the Quality of my life that concerned me. I'm just not happy as a fat girl. Ok, wait I am a happy person, who is extremely thankful for the Outpouring of blessings I have been given! I just don't feel like I live up to my tried potential that God has for me as a morbidly obese person.
I think that, (and I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings here) every day I lived in my body and overate, and didn't exercise and stayed satisfied with my lifestyle, EVERY day I feel like I was sinning. I was poisoning my body, and committing a slow suicide. And I am absolutely POSITIVE that that behavior is not pleasing to God.
My sister was watching this show about people who are more than 600 pounds and most of them are holed up in there homes, many unable to even get out of bed and definitely not able to leave their homes without assistance, and some of these people are crying out for help! I don't understand...bed ridden or at least house ridden..someone (usually a family member) is bringing this person their food. How difficult is it to STOP BRINGING THEM THE FOOD THAT IS KILLING THEM!! I mean REALLY! I understand that the pleas for whatever the person might be used to would be hard to deal with, but we are talking about MASSIVE amounts of food these people are feeding their loved ones. It's really sad. And what's even sadder to me is that there are so SO many people 'in hiding' that are dying and no one is doing anything to stop it. I have mental issues with food that caused me to get to where I was. So I know for a fact that these people need mental help! I am so deeply affected by this problem in our world that I can't even begin to tell you how much this bothers me!
Ok, I think I'm done with my rant for now. So believe or not, I've actually had a really great day! Lol, I'm sure that is very hard to believe considering all of the stuff I just threw out there, but I feel rejuvenated! Even though the normal outside world has no idea what I'm doing or how far I've come already, the people in MY world know. And that makes all the difference. At work today, I had a customer call, that I've known since her first baby was born and now she's almost family because her nephew married my cousin! I think he's her nephew...lol. Whatever, they're related! So I love when they come to see me and she called to book an appointment with me, but the first thing she said was, "So how's your journey goin girl?" I LOVE IT! :-) And she told me how proud she was of me and we chatted for a bit, but she really made my day. :) I can't wait until I've lost enough that when I run in to people I haven't seen in a while and they have to take a double take. :-))) that will be the day!!
Well I guess I was long winded today, because this is the longest blog I've had in a while!! I still have lots to do today, including a two hour visit to the gym and bible study tonight!
Have a great evening and enjoy this BEAUTIFUL day!!
<3 Honor
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Day 87: Barbie!!
Lesson learned! Honor cannot stay up late watching movies anymore! Lol! I woke up with a HORRID migraine and ended up losing my entire morning trying to get rid of it!
Last night, the gym visit with my friend went really well. I had to hold back a little because I really wanted to go after her Biggest Loser Style;) but I sure don't want to discourage her! But we got some good solid cardio in, with some low intensity strength training. And I got to visit with my momma some too. :)
So, when I finally got myself going today, I finished the Barbie Cake and it turned out really cute! I'll post a pic at the end of my blog tonight for those of you that may not be friends with me on Facebook. :-) I get really excited when I finish a cake. :)
I don't know what it is about me, but I can sit down and start watching TV, and before I know what I'm running late to wherever I planned on going. Today, after I finished with the cake, I sat down to watch a little bit of a movie. I have absolutely no intentions of watching the entire movie. And before I knew it I was so caught up in it that I was running late. I really am sick and tired of being late everywhere I go! And I really am working on it. So after I peeled myself away from the television, I headed to the gym. I started out my night with a spinning class! I absolutely love to go to spinning now, because I can still remember the first time I went almost 3 months ago, and I just really sucked! I'm not joking… I couldn't even spin standing up at all! And now, even though I still can't do every thing that the other people do, I still do a heck of a lot better. I can really see my progress whenever I go to that class. But, you know, I can see my progress in Zumba too! When I first started going to that class, it kicked my butt! I couldn't do half of the moves correctly because I couldn't turn my body around fast enough, or get my booty to move the right way, or jump up-and-down... I still do the modified moves on some stuff, but I do a heck of a lot more than I used to!! It really makes me feel so good to see my progress in my workouts! I can feel my body getting stronger and more tolerant to my abuse! Haha...
So tonight I went to spinning, and then I met my sis and went to Zumba for almost an hour and a half. Afterward, we were bad little girls, and went and had some Mexican! I know, I know… Don't judge me! Lol. I said before, that when I eat at the Mexican restaurant, I really don't do all that bad... But I probably did have to many chips and salsa tonight because it was really hitting the spot! The good thing is that I had tons of calories left for this evening so it's not like I blew my calories, I just didn't eat the way that I know I should.
My philosophy is, as long as I'm still seeing a minus on that scale, I'm not going to beat myself up about a few days that I go easy on myself. Plus I burned 2100 cal tonight in the gym! I really think that makes a big difference, because it's really really hard for me to stay perfect on my diet. So I took a little bit of advice that I got from Jillian Michaels! In a week you have three days that you stick to your diet really really well, two days that you're kind of in the middle, and two days that you're a little more relaxed. I did pretty close to that philosophy last week and it seemed to work well, so we'll see what goes on this week.
As always, thanks for tuning in. Have a good night!
<3 Honor
Last night, the gym visit with my friend went really well. I had to hold back a little because I really wanted to go after her Biggest Loser Style;) but I sure don't want to discourage her! But we got some good solid cardio in, with some low intensity strength training. And I got to visit with my momma some too. :)
So, when I finally got myself going today, I finished the Barbie Cake and it turned out really cute! I'll post a pic at the end of my blog tonight for those of you that may not be friends with me on Facebook. :-) I get really excited when I finish a cake. :)
I don't know what it is about me, but I can sit down and start watching TV, and before I know what I'm running late to wherever I planned on going. Today, after I finished with the cake, I sat down to watch a little bit of a movie. I have absolutely no intentions of watching the entire movie. And before I knew it I was so caught up in it that I was running late. I really am sick and tired of being late everywhere I go! And I really am working on it. So after I peeled myself away from the television, I headed to the gym. I started out my night with a spinning class! I absolutely love to go to spinning now, because I can still remember the first time I went almost 3 months ago, and I just really sucked! I'm not joking… I couldn't even spin standing up at all! And now, even though I still can't do every thing that the other people do, I still do a heck of a lot better. I can really see my progress whenever I go to that class. But, you know, I can see my progress in Zumba too! When I first started going to that class, it kicked my butt! I couldn't do half of the moves correctly because I couldn't turn my body around fast enough, or get my booty to move the right way, or jump up-and-down... I still do the modified moves on some stuff, but I do a heck of a lot more than I used to!! It really makes me feel so good to see my progress in my workouts! I can feel my body getting stronger and more tolerant to my abuse! Haha...
So tonight I went to spinning, and then I met my sis and went to Zumba for almost an hour and a half. Afterward, we were bad little girls, and went and had some Mexican! I know, I know… Don't judge me! Lol. I said before, that when I eat at the Mexican restaurant, I really don't do all that bad... But I probably did have to many chips and salsa tonight because it was really hitting the spot! The good thing is that I had tons of calories left for this evening so it's not like I blew my calories, I just didn't eat the way that I know I should.
My philosophy is, as long as I'm still seeing a minus on that scale, I'm not going to beat myself up about a few days that I go easy on myself. Plus I burned 2100 cal tonight in the gym! I really think that makes a big difference, because it's really really hard for me to stay perfect on my diet. So I took a little bit of advice that I got from Jillian Michaels! In a week you have three days that you stick to your diet really really well, two days that you're kind of in the middle, and two days that you're a little more relaxed. I did pretty close to that philosophy last week and it seemed to work well, so we'll see what goes on this week.
As always, thanks for tuning in. Have a good night!
<3 Honor
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Day 86: Weigh-In Number Twelve
Well, today has been a pretty great day! Obviously the first thing I did this morning was Weigh in. Before I got on the scale all I was thinking is that I didn't want to have gained any. So I get on the scale, and lo and behold, I lost 2 pounds! What the crap? Last week I had a great week and I only lost 1 pound! This week, I have a terrible week, and I lose 2 pounds! My body just doesn't know what it wants to do at this point... But you sure aren't going to hear me complain about it!!
Anytime I have a good weigh in, the rest of my day seems to be awesome too. I spent the rest of the morning and all afternoon working on my two cakes. And I'm really happy with what all I had accomplished on them today.
So once I'm pooped from working on the cakes, then I has to go get dressed and go to the gym! And let me tell you, I worked really hard at the gym today! I burned over 1500 calories!
After my workout, I went straight to Bible study. Tuesday night is ladies Bible study, and I really enjoy it. Tonight we started a floor part series about the women of the Bible. So tonight we talked about Rahab and how she was given the label of prostitute, but in the subtitles it said "or possibly innkeeper" so this poor woman was either a prostitute or in innkeeper! The two labels are very, very different! So of course our main focus on the Bible study was how we are given labels and sometimes they aren't accurate. And that really made me think... appearance wise, I look like someone who doesn't give a crap about her self... But in all actuality we know that I work really really hard to get myself to where I'm healthy. But if a stranger passed me on the street, they would have no idea. That is something that I do struggle with quite a lot.
So right now I'm headed to the gym and Dexter to work out with my mom. I also have a friend who is meeting me there, and she wants to get some advice on weight-loss from me. I really hope she goes for it! I, of all people, know how hard this journey is... but, it is up to the individual person as to whether or not they will put in the work that it takes to get real results. I can supply tools, but I can't do the work for you. That's hard for some people to accept, because they want there to be this easy cure-all to fix it. But really it just takes hard work and dedication. A LOT of hard work and some SERIOUS dedication.
I'm headed in to the gym! Have a good night!
<3 Honor
Anytime I have a good weigh in, the rest of my day seems to be awesome too. I spent the rest of the morning and all afternoon working on my two cakes. And I'm really happy with what all I had accomplished on them today.
So once I'm pooped from working on the cakes, then I has to go get dressed and go to the gym! And let me tell you, I worked really hard at the gym today! I burned over 1500 calories!
After my workout, I went straight to Bible study. Tuesday night is ladies Bible study, and I really enjoy it. Tonight we started a floor part series about the women of the Bible. So tonight we talked about Rahab and how she was given the label of prostitute, but in the subtitles it said "or possibly innkeeper" so this poor woman was either a prostitute or in innkeeper! The two labels are very, very different! So of course our main focus on the Bible study was how we are given labels and sometimes they aren't accurate. And that really made me think... appearance wise, I look like someone who doesn't give a crap about her self... But in all actuality we know that I work really really hard to get myself to where I'm healthy. But if a stranger passed me on the street, they would have no idea. That is something that I do struggle with quite a lot.
So right now I'm headed to the gym and Dexter to work out with my mom. I also have a friend who is meeting me there, and she wants to get some advice on weight-loss from me. I really hope she goes for it! I, of all people, know how hard this journey is... but, it is up to the individual person as to whether or not they will put in the work that it takes to get real results. I can supply tools, but I can't do the work for you. That's hard for some people to accept, because they want there to be this easy cure-all to fix it. But really it just takes hard work and dedication. A LOT of hard work and some SERIOUS dedication.
I'm headed in to the gym! Have a good night!
<3 Honor
Monday, February 20, 2012
Day 85: Sugar-Free Icing on Fat-Free Cake!
I refuse to let a complicated day at work dictate the rest of my day. But it's hard to separate the two when you get as involved with these things as I do! I wish I could have a magic button to press that would make things better but I don't. And the only thing I can control is me, and how I react to other people. I would desperately LOVE to be able to control other people sometimes and be able to make them do what I need them to, but that's not how the real world works! Ha!
I was so proud of myself this morning! I actually got up really close to when I needed to and reached the Cape studio on time! Go me! I'm anxious about the next two days because they are my days off, and I need to get as much of the cake stuff done as I can so I'm not stressed later in the week. :-) Last night I managed to get all of the cake layers baked that I need for my cakes this week and got them cooled and wrapped and put in the freezer! I do that a week ahead of time and then cool and 'dirty ice' them and refreeze because that holds in the moisture REALLY well, and I have heard from people that have enjoyed my cakes that they were super moist. :-)
So after work today I headed to the gym to get my workout on...Zumba was great tonight, and I burned quite a few calories, which was very much in need! My only issue with Zumba is that it makes my knee hurt! Honestly I don't know if it would stop hurting if I weren't going to Zumba though because with the last fifty pounds or so that I had gained, that's when my knee started bothering me. I'm ready for my body to start thanking me for shedding pounds. I'm excited about the idea of my feet not hurting from the plantar Faciitis, and I would be very grateful if the knee pain went away too! Plus, I'm really hoping my P. C. O. S. gets better. :-) THAT would be the sugar-free icing on the fat-free cake!! Haha.
I'm home, sitting in my driveway once again. Finishing up my blog before I head in to get busy on those cakes. :-) tomorrow should be a productive day! I sure hope so! Because the more I get done tomorrow, the less ill have to do Wednesday. :-)
Oh and tomorrow is a weigh day! Since I had such a terrible week most of the week...I'm kindof just hoping to break even this week. I'm PRAYING I don't have a gain. I've shied away from the scale...so tomorrow I'll guess we'll find out. :-)
Have a good one!
<3 Honor
I was so proud of myself this morning! I actually got up really close to when I needed to and reached the Cape studio on time! Go me! I'm anxious about the next two days because they are my days off, and I need to get as much of the cake stuff done as I can so I'm not stressed later in the week. :-) Last night I managed to get all of the cake layers baked that I need for my cakes this week and got them cooled and wrapped and put in the freezer! I do that a week ahead of time and then cool and 'dirty ice' them and refreeze because that holds in the moisture REALLY well, and I have heard from people that have enjoyed my cakes that they were super moist. :-)
So after work today I headed to the gym to get my workout on...Zumba was great tonight, and I burned quite a few calories, which was very much in need! My only issue with Zumba is that it makes my knee hurt! Honestly I don't know if it would stop hurting if I weren't going to Zumba though because with the last fifty pounds or so that I had gained, that's when my knee started bothering me. I'm ready for my body to start thanking me for shedding pounds. I'm excited about the idea of my feet not hurting from the plantar Faciitis, and I would be very grateful if the knee pain went away too! Plus, I'm really hoping my P. C. O. S. gets better. :-) THAT would be the sugar-free icing on the fat-free cake!! Haha.
I'm home, sitting in my driveway once again. Finishing up my blog before I head in to get busy on those cakes. :-) tomorrow should be a productive day! I sure hope so! Because the more I get done tomorrow, the less ill have to do Wednesday. :-)
Oh and tomorrow is a weigh day! Since I had such a terrible week most of the week...I'm kindof just hoping to break even this week. I'm PRAYING I don't have a gain. I've shied away from the scale...so tomorrow I'll guess we'll find out. :-)
Have a good one!
<3 Honor
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Day 84: Decisions
I don't know what it is about bad decisions that it's just easier and easier to make them once you get started on the trend. But that's how it is! And when I think about it, it's really the same way with good decisions! I already said yesterday, how was having a really hard week... but it seriously is like Wednesday started off my bad week because it was my anniversary and I didn't count calories... and then the next day I did really good. And Fridays and Saturdays are always some of the toughest days of my week. I don't want you to get the impression that I blew my calorie budget out or anything like that... but, like I said before, I can't do my diet like some other people can. Some people can be on the 'eat whatever you want' diet, as long as they stay under a calorie goal. But no, it can't be that simple for me. I have to make conscious, good decisions. But this week I have been eating things that I know I shouldn't have been eating as long as they say within my calories. And that just isn't working for me, my body is retaining fluid now, good job Honor!
So today after church I had to go get gas. And, even before I went into the store I had to have a plan. I decided, I was going to go in and get a diet Coke and a bag of Sun chips, and then get my gas and go. So I go into the gas station and the first thing that hits me is the smell of delicious, tasty pizza. Okay Honor, you have to be strong here, so I passed up the pizza... then there's the donut case… I really have to fight with my brain a lot when it comes to temptation. Because my first thought was, to buy two doughnuts and eat them, and no one would ever know. The problem with that scenario is that I would know. And I cannot run away from my conscious. So I went ahead and passed up those donuts too, got my soda and chips and got out of there with my dignity intact!
I honestly think that because I made good choices there at the gas station when I was tempted the most today, that that set the mood for me to have a really good day. Calorie wise, I've probably had the best day I have all week today. And now, I am headed to work out with my momma. :-)
Have a good night!
<3 Honor
So today after church I had to go get gas. And, even before I went into the store I had to have a plan. I decided, I was going to go in and get a diet Coke and a bag of Sun chips, and then get my gas and go. So I go into the gas station and the first thing that hits me is the smell of delicious, tasty pizza. Okay Honor, you have to be strong here, so I passed up the pizza... then there's the donut case… I really have to fight with my brain a lot when it comes to temptation. Because my first thought was, to buy two doughnuts and eat them, and no one would ever know. The problem with that scenario is that I would know. And I cannot run away from my conscious. So I went ahead and passed up those donuts too, got my soda and chips and got out of there with my dignity intact!
I honestly think that because I made good choices there at the gas station when I was tempted the most today, that that set the mood for me to have a really good day. Calorie wise, I've probably had the best day I have all week today. And now, I am headed to work out with my momma. :-)
Have a good night!
<3 Honor
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Day 83: Its a Do-Si-Do Nightmare!
Yea, I know my title is dramatic, but really?! These cute little girl scouts are gonna kill me! I easy dodged the Cookie ordering because you can't actually SEE the boxes of cookies...then I come in to work today and BAM! Cute little girl scout, "Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?" oh and that sweet little face...! YES I would live to eat an entire box of Do-Si-Do's, those are the yummy peanut butter sandwich cookies. But, no thanks! So I rush in to the store so I can clock-in and DOUBLE BAM!! Discounted Valentine's Chocolates and Candy.....ooooh....GRrr How is a fat girl supposed to stay on the straight and narrow AND be in a good mood with all of these temptations! Haha...yes I'm overdramatizing it, but what can I say...this is the way my brain thinks!
So today really just didn't go the way I had planned for it to go. I overslept. Again. So no workout this morning. And I came to work and ran into temptation at the door...I did fine with that, but then I am training and it has been harder for me this whole time I've been training. We went to Chinese for lunch, and I could have done fine by only getting the food off of the grill, but I had a few other things I shouldn't have, and it just hasn't been a good day. I really haven't done great this week at all since I had the Root Canal Tuesday, and then Our anniversary and I swear the only day I've done what I should be doing is Thursday. What the crap! I CAN do better! And I will! Nobody ever said this would be an easy journey, but I'm DEFINITELY feelin it this week! But, in the famous words of George Lopez, "I've got this!"
I have a pretty crazy week ahead of me this week. I have a cake due on Friday and I have to work in Cape Monday and Friday...whew...it's gonna be crazy! I'm trying REALLY hard NOT to get stressed about it.
Have a good night my friends :-)
<3 Honor
So today really just didn't go the way I had planned for it to go. I overslept. Again. So no workout this morning. And I came to work and ran into temptation at the door...I did fine with that, but then I am training and it has been harder for me this whole time I've been training. We went to Chinese for lunch, and I could have done fine by only getting the food off of the grill, but I had a few other things I shouldn't have, and it just hasn't been a good day. I really haven't done great this week at all since I had the Root Canal Tuesday, and then Our anniversary and I swear the only day I've done what I should be doing is Thursday. What the crap! I CAN do better! And I will! Nobody ever said this would be an easy journey, but I'm DEFINITELY feelin it this week! But, in the famous words of George Lopez, "I've got this!"
I have a pretty crazy week ahead of me this week. I have a cake due on Friday and I have to work in Cape Monday and Friday...whew...it's gonna be crazy! I'm trying REALLY hard NOT to get stressed about it.
Have a good night my friends :-)
<3 Honor
Friday, February 17, 2012
Day 82: Another Friday
I HATE FRIDAYS! Lol. Most people love them...not this chick right here! Especially when I have to go to Cape.
My day was long and exhausting and I don't even get to work out on Friday's because I go to work and then tonight I got home a little after 9 (I had to get something to eat before my drive home so I wouldn't be eating and then going straight to bed, boo), so by the time I came in and straightened up the house and took a shower, it was time for bed! So yea, not a fan of Fridays. :-)
Yesterday I got a weighted bar that my personal trainer ordered for me and I'm super excited about it. It's a 12 pound bar that you can do TONS of different exercises with. We use them in my Ypump class a lot. I had every intention of coming home tonight and bringing it in and doing some exercises. And then I came home and packed my lunch for tomorrow and I went ahead and got some workout clothes and work clothes ready because I am hoping I can get myself up in the morning and go to the morning Ypump class before work. So I better get my booty in bed and catch some zzz's...
Sleep tight my friends :-)
<3 Honor
My day was long and exhausting and I don't even get to work out on Friday's because I go to work and then tonight I got home a little after 9 (I had to get something to eat before my drive home so I wouldn't be eating and then going straight to bed, boo), so by the time I came in and straightened up the house and took a shower, it was time for bed! So yea, not a fan of Fridays. :-)
Yesterday I got a weighted bar that my personal trainer ordered for me and I'm super excited about it. It's a 12 pound bar that you can do TONS of different exercises with. We use them in my Ypump class a lot. I had every intention of coming home tonight and bringing it in and doing some exercises. And then I came home and packed my lunch for tomorrow and I went ahead and got some workout clothes and work clothes ready because I am hoping I can get myself up in the morning and go to the morning Ypump class before work. So I better get my booty in bed and catch some zzz's...
Sleep tight my friends :-)
<3 Honor
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Day 81: Return to Bible study
I used to go to ladies bible study every Tuesday, without missing hardly at all. An then I let the business of work, and life, get in there and pull me away. So for the last few months I've been luck to make it to two Sunday services a month and that's it. Two years ago, I went to church every other Sunday and I was totally ok with that. I grew more spiritually then, than I had in my whole life! But when we started that bible study, I craved it. I felt like I was pleasing God, and getting more and more where God wanted me to be. All of the sudden I needed more than two times a month. It wasn't good enough anymore. Then my church added a Saturday night service and I managed to find a way to go to that every week AND to my bible study. So the lack of spiritual time that I have had Over the past few months has really taken a toll on me. So after the first of the year, my church started this new Small Groups bible study, but I made excuses that I was to busy, or to tired from working out to make it each week. But I went tonight. And it was GREAT. I said on Sunday that I was going to start making more time for my relationship with God, because without him my journey to weight-loss would be completely unsuccessful. I am so thankful for the blessings I receive on a DAILY basis that I don't deserve.
Today has been a really good day. It was a short day at work, which always prompts a good day. I had a bit if a scare this morning, because I was feeling woozy and dizzy and I was NOT liking that. I suspect that my blood pressure was way to high since I did not eat the way I have been yesterday, so it was probably a little out of whack.
Well, it's getting pretty late, and I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.
<3 Honor
Today has been a really good day. It was a short day at work, which always prompts a good day. I had a bit if a scare this morning, because I was feeling woozy and dizzy and I was NOT liking that. I suspect that my blood pressure was way to high since I did not eat the way I have been yesterday, so it was probably a little out of whack.
Well, it's getting pretty late, and I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.
<3 Honor
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Day 79 & 80: Weigh-Day and my 9th Anniversary
Well yesterday was day 79 and weigh day number eleven. I was not, in the least bit, happy with my results. I lost one pound, for the third week in a row. I'm ticked. I worked out HARD for four days. And by hard, I mean HARD. THREE hours in the gym burning 2000 calories each day and I worked out a fifth day, just not as hard, and the two days I didn't work out, I worked ten hour days and busted my butt! So yea, I'm ticked. I know it was a loss and that's great, but with as much effort as I put in, I expect more from my body. I am, by no means, ready to give up. If anything, I'm ready to work harder. I just know the science of it, so it's extremely frustrating for my body to do this to me.
On a different note...today, is my 9 year wedding anniversary. We got married when I was 19 and Jamie was 20. We were young and dumb and not ready to get married. But we didn't listen to a word anybody said because we didn't care. I had never felt so loved in my short 19 years and he made me feel special. So right before Christmas of 2002 we decided we were going to get married. Yes, I said it, 'we decided'. I remember we were driving down the road and we were just talking and Jamie says, "Hey wouldn't it be cool if we got married?" I was "um...yea..my mom would kill me, but yea, that would be cool" lol. And that's how we decided to get married. And then we had to decided when? Jamie would have been happy with Christmas or New Year's, but I said that I had to get my parents prepared for it, and if we did it that soon they really would freak out. So we decided on Valentine's Day. The problem with was that Valentine's Day 2003 was on a Friday and we wanted our family and friends to be able to come, so we decided on the 15th. I really don't remember much of our wedding day. We sat at dinner tonight reminiscing on the day, and what we remember and I was surprised at how much I couldn't remember! I do remember that they got our songs out of order so the song that was suppose to be played as a recessional was played in the middle of the ceremony and it was over 5 minutes long! So we just stood there giggling at each other and just a little embarrassed because everybody was watching us. I barely remember anything at all from our reception. That was a day that I didn't feel fat. I felt loved. I felt special. But I never felt subconscious about my size. We had issues with our wedding pictures, we didn't have a professional, just candids, and my moms film disappeared. So the only pictures we ever got, we're a few that a friend had taken! I remember looking at those the first time and being shocked! I felt like I looked beautiful...and when I looked at the pictures I was surprised to see myself looking fat and outdated and not beautiful at all. My mom would disagree with me, but I can still look back at those pictures and really wish I had done a LOT of things differently.
My marriage has been full of some crazy ups and downs. Petty fights, lots of laughing at our own stupidity and because we were so young, I think we've done a lot of growing up together too. We've made bad decisions and a few good ones too. But above all we made the decision to commit to each other for a lifetime. No matter how crazy he makes me, I never regret that decision. We have both worked very hard to be where we are today, and at one point in our lives he worked two full time jobs so that we could live above poverty. We are by no means rich, but we aren't poor either. And that is because of how hard he works.
Today, I did not count Calories. It is one day. And I do not believe that one day will spoil all of my progress. I'm sorry if anyone doesn't agree, but tomorrow is another day and I will be working my butt of again like usual.
Thanks for sharing my ups and downs with me. Thank you for your encouraging words. And thank you for being there. :-)
<3 Honor
On a different note...today, is my 9 year wedding anniversary. We got married when I was 19 and Jamie was 20. We were young and dumb and not ready to get married. But we didn't listen to a word anybody said because we didn't care. I had never felt so loved in my short 19 years and he made me feel special. So right before Christmas of 2002 we decided we were going to get married. Yes, I said it, 'we decided'. I remember we were driving down the road and we were just talking and Jamie says, "Hey wouldn't it be cool if we got married?" I was "um...yea..my mom would kill me, but yea, that would be cool" lol. And that's how we decided to get married. And then we had to decided when? Jamie would have been happy with Christmas or New Year's, but I said that I had to get my parents prepared for it, and if we did it that soon they really would freak out. So we decided on Valentine's Day. The problem with was that Valentine's Day 2003 was on a Friday and we wanted our family and friends to be able to come, so we decided on the 15th. I really don't remember much of our wedding day. We sat at dinner tonight reminiscing on the day, and what we remember and I was surprised at how much I couldn't remember! I do remember that they got our songs out of order so the song that was suppose to be played as a recessional was played in the middle of the ceremony and it was over 5 minutes long! So we just stood there giggling at each other and just a little embarrassed because everybody was watching us. I barely remember anything at all from our reception. That was a day that I didn't feel fat. I felt loved. I felt special. But I never felt subconscious about my size. We had issues with our wedding pictures, we didn't have a professional, just candids, and my moms film disappeared. So the only pictures we ever got, we're a few that a friend had taken! I remember looking at those the first time and being shocked! I felt like I looked beautiful...and when I looked at the pictures I was surprised to see myself looking fat and outdated and not beautiful at all. My mom would disagree with me, but I can still look back at those pictures and really wish I had done a LOT of things differently.
My marriage has been full of some crazy ups and downs. Petty fights, lots of laughing at our own stupidity and because we were so young, I think we've done a lot of growing up together too. We've made bad decisions and a few good ones too. But above all we made the decision to commit to each other for a lifetime. No matter how crazy he makes me, I never regret that decision. We have both worked very hard to be where we are today, and at one point in our lives he worked two full time jobs so that we could live above poverty. We are by no means rich, but we aren't poor either. And that is because of how hard he works.
Today, I did not count Calories. It is one day. And I do not believe that one day will spoil all of my progress. I'm sorry if anyone doesn't agree, but tomorrow is another day and I will be working my butt of again like usual.
Thanks for sharing my ups and downs with me. Thank you for your encouraging words. And thank you for being there. :-)
<3 Honor
Monday, February 13, 2012
Day 78: Snow Day!
Well it is snowing outside and I love snow :-) I actually got to leave work early because I was in Cape to train and needed to make sure I could get back to town before it got really bad. I'm kindof sad that I won't get to enjoy the snow though, because I have an appointment with dentist in the A. M. to finish my root canal!
Tomorrow is weigh day and I'm anxious! I really wish I could shed off more than 1-2 pounds a week! It's a pretty big pain to work as hard as I do in the gym and not see larger numbers. I know that it's because of the PCOS, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating. That's actually one of the reasons why I've never successfully lost weight. It takes so much MORE energy than it takes other people and I get so discouraged so FAST!
On The Biggest Loser they are always trying to figure out why they aloud themselves to get that size, or what caused them to over eat or whatever... so I've spent a LOT of time reflecting on that. What I have come up with: it's complicated. Lol. Part of the reason I became obese in the first place is kindof a mess! My mom wanted so badly fort sister and I to be healthy and not overweight. So she did exactly what the 'health professionals' told her to do. We had vegetables and fruit and LOTS of Carbs because THAT'S what the food pyramid said to do. So the weight just slowly crept up on me. By the time I was in High School I was definitely over weight...but not anywhere near as bad as I felt. I graduated when I was 17 & weighed somewhere around 200. I saw a 300 pound person when I looked in the mirror.
By the time I met Jamie, my dear crazy hubby, I had gained another 20-30 pounds and was happy a a jaybird.. I had no idea how out of control I was. I ate whatever I wanted. Mostly frozen pizzas, chips, tv dinners, fast food and sweets. And over the next 8 and half years I gained, on average, 10 pounds a year. From year to year, that didn't seem like much at all. But every pound added up and before I knew it, I was up to 305. The last 45 came on faster than any other and that was as my sister's divorce unfolded and I quit smoking. It came on LIGHTENING fast! So I really don't think that and specific thing made me eat crap and get fat. I do know that I probably would have attempted to LOSE the weight much sooner, if it weren't so Hard! I feel like its 3 times as hard for me as it is for normal people. I literally burn an average of 7,000-8,000 calories in the gym on TOP of the more than a pound a week I should be burning when you consider that my body burn 2200 calories a day if I were to do absolutely nothing but lay in bed, and I am pretty stinkin active with work and stuff and I eat less than 1500 calories a day! I should seriously (according to the math) be losing at least 5 pounds a week! Boo on my stupid body!! Lol!! But at least I'm LOSING! That's all the really matters in the grand scheme of things.
Tomorrow is weigh day and I'm anxious! I really wish I could shed off more than 1-2 pounds a week! It's a pretty big pain to work as hard as I do in the gym and not see larger numbers. I know that it's because of the PCOS, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating. That's actually one of the reasons why I've never successfully lost weight. It takes so much MORE energy than it takes other people and I get so discouraged so FAST!
On The Biggest Loser they are always trying to figure out why they aloud themselves to get that size, or what caused them to over eat or whatever... so I've spent a LOT of time reflecting on that. What I have come up with: it's complicated. Lol. Part of the reason I became obese in the first place is kindof a mess! My mom wanted so badly fort sister and I to be healthy and not overweight. So she did exactly what the 'health professionals' told her to do. We had vegetables and fruit and LOTS of Carbs because THAT'S what the food pyramid said to do. So the weight just slowly crept up on me. By the time I was in High School I was definitely over weight...but not anywhere near as bad as I felt. I graduated when I was 17 & weighed somewhere around 200. I saw a 300 pound person when I looked in the mirror.
By the time I met Jamie, my dear crazy hubby, I had gained another 20-30 pounds and was happy a a jaybird.. I had no idea how out of control I was. I ate whatever I wanted. Mostly frozen pizzas, chips, tv dinners, fast food and sweets. And over the next 8 and half years I gained, on average, 10 pounds a year. From year to year, that didn't seem like much at all. But every pound added up and before I knew it, I was up to 305. The last 45 came on faster than any other and that was as my sister's divorce unfolded and I quit smoking. It came on LIGHTENING fast! So I really don't think that and specific thing made me eat crap and get fat. I do know that I probably would have attempted to LOSE the weight much sooner, if it weren't so Hard! I feel like its 3 times as hard for me as it is for normal people. I literally burn an average of 7,000-8,000 calories in the gym on TOP of the more than a pound a week I should be burning when you consider that my body burn 2200 calories a day if I were to do absolutely nothing but lay in bed, and I am pretty stinkin active with work and stuff and I eat less than 1500 calories a day! I should seriously (according to the math) be losing at least 5 pounds a week! Boo on my stupid body!! Lol!! But at least I'm LOSING! That's all the really matters in the grand scheme of things.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Day 77: A new appreciation for my Blessings
I had an unsuspected surprise comment from my mother-in-law this morning that made my day. What you have to understand is that she is very oblivious to her surroundings. She's schizophrenic and bi-polar and she is super sweet. She actually lives with my husband and I, because for some reason, she makes her own financial decisions and those decisions got her in a rut that she just couldn't get out of without help. So she has been staying with us since June of last year. Before then, I just thought she was this crazy psychotic woman and I didn't really 'know' her, if you know what I mean. But, in the time she has lived with us, I've really gotten to know her and her quirks and actually understand her a whole lot better. Now I love her, despite her craziness. :) so anyways, I felt like you needed a basic understanding of her, to know why her comment meant so much to me. We were standing in the middle of church service during worship, and she looks over at me, then she looks down and back up to my face and she leans over and says, "Honor, those pants are falling off of you!" lol! It was such a matter of a fact statement and it really caught me off guard! But it really touched me too! That was her way of complimenting my weight-loss in the only way she new how.
I don't remember if I ever wrote about emotions before, I know I planned to, but I thought I would go a little more in depth about it today anyways. The further I get into this journey, the more my emotions are on a roller coaster! I can cry, laugh, or scream at the drop of a hat! I don't know if it's just because I am changing what goes in to my body so drastically, or maybe my hormone levels are just all out of whack, but I hope it levels off just a little!
I was in church this morning, and really thinking about how much I've missed over the past few months because I've been so exhausted that I literally choose sleeping in sometimes over getting up and going. I have a great associate who works two hours every Sunday morning (10-12) so that I am able to go, and I sleep in instead of going sometimes! (It's that whole, can't get enough sleep thing that I talked about the other day) And I feel like dirt about it. I don't talk a lot about My spirituality in this blog, mostly because I don't want someone to not read it because they feel like I'm 'preaching' to them or something. Well that's crap. And I'm done with that. Without God, I would have NEVER made it this far in my journey. In fact, I believe that the reason I finally had the determination to start this journey was because he put it on my heart. And what have I done over the past 76 days to thank him? I have fellowshipped with my very special church family less, I have gone to church less, and I actually realized today that I even PRAY less! Thank God for SMACKING me in the face with that this morning! Because THAT stops today too. I feel refreshed today, renewed, at peace. My pastor preached a great message that really spoke to me.
I feel completely blessed right now. Yes, I still have worries and concerns with our finances, no, my life is far from perfect. BUT...my 9 year wedding anniversary is on Wednesday and I love my husband very much. We have a roof over our heads and the money to be able to buy healthy foods(because we all know, they cost more), and we have many other blessings that I take or granted too!
My emotions are so crazed out right now, that I am listening to the preacher talk about his visit to the doctor a few weeks before and how out of control his sugar was and I just was thinking, "wow it's a blessing he's even here! His sugar problems could have put home in a sugar coma!" and I started crying. Then I got myself under control again, and BAM someone I love to death was standing behind me bawling her eyes out on the pastor's wife's shoulder and I start crying again. Just because I didn't know what was wrong with her, and I was sad because she was sad. Lol. NO, I'm not pregnant. I wish. But no. I'm just an emotional wreck!
I thank God for bringing me on this journey and giving me the will power that I lack. I know that some day I will be able to look back on this entire crazy journey and I'll say something like, "It seemed never ending while I was trudging through day by day, but looking back it all happened pretty fast" and I know that's the way I'll feel, because it's already been 77 days!! Wow!
Thank you, my friends, for inspiring me and motivating me. :-)
<3 Honor
I don't remember if I ever wrote about emotions before, I know I planned to, but I thought I would go a little more in depth about it today anyways. The further I get into this journey, the more my emotions are on a roller coaster! I can cry, laugh, or scream at the drop of a hat! I don't know if it's just because I am changing what goes in to my body so drastically, or maybe my hormone levels are just all out of whack, but I hope it levels off just a little!
I was in church this morning, and really thinking about how much I've missed over the past few months because I've been so exhausted that I literally choose sleeping in sometimes over getting up and going. I have a great associate who works two hours every Sunday morning (10-12) so that I am able to go, and I sleep in instead of going sometimes! (It's that whole, can't get enough sleep thing that I talked about the other day) And I feel like dirt about it. I don't talk a lot about My spirituality in this blog, mostly because I don't want someone to not read it because they feel like I'm 'preaching' to them or something. Well that's crap. And I'm done with that. Without God, I would have NEVER made it this far in my journey. In fact, I believe that the reason I finally had the determination to start this journey was because he put it on my heart. And what have I done over the past 76 days to thank him? I have fellowshipped with my very special church family less, I have gone to church less, and I actually realized today that I even PRAY less! Thank God for SMACKING me in the face with that this morning! Because THAT stops today too. I feel refreshed today, renewed, at peace. My pastor preached a great message that really spoke to me.
I feel completely blessed right now. Yes, I still have worries and concerns with our finances, no, my life is far from perfect. BUT...my 9 year wedding anniversary is on Wednesday and I love my husband very much. We have a roof over our heads and the money to be able to buy healthy foods(because we all know, they cost more), and we have many other blessings that I take or granted too!
My emotions are so crazed out right now, that I am listening to the preacher talk about his visit to the doctor a few weeks before and how out of control his sugar was and I just was thinking, "wow it's a blessing he's even here! His sugar problems could have put home in a sugar coma!" and I started crying. Then I got myself under control again, and BAM someone I love to death was standing behind me bawling her eyes out on the pastor's wife's shoulder and I start crying again. Just because I didn't know what was wrong with her, and I was sad because she was sad. Lol. NO, I'm not pregnant. I wish. But no. I'm just an emotional wreck!
I thank God for bringing me on this journey and giving me the will power that I lack. I know that some day I will be able to look back on this entire crazy journey and I'll say something like, "It seemed never ending while I was trudging through day by day, but looking back it all happened pretty fast" and I know that's the way I'll feel, because it's already been 77 days!! Wow!
Thank you, my friends, for inspiring me and motivating me. :-)
<3 Honor
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Day 76: Good food day vs. Bad food day
The weekend is definitely already taking its toll on me! And I still have to get through tomorrow and Monday! It is busier than usual right now at the studio because everyone is getting their income taxes back, so they are having portraits made. Yay us! But training someone while it's busy is hard work!
I find myself daydreaming a lot these days about how great it would be if I didn't have to work. I would be able to go to the gym every day! I just get so overwhelmed sometimes by how busy I feel like I am. And I honestly wonder if I will ever get over that feeling. I have been balancing work with workout time for 2 and half months now, and you would think maybe I would be adjusting a little by now, but the weekends are just really hard on me!
Today actually seemed to go by pretty slow, even though I had a lot to do and I think I know why....When I have good 'food' days, my day seems to fly by. By that, I mean that I feel full all day and don't have cravings to bad and those are GREAT DAYS! And then there's days like today, a bad 'food' day, when I feel hungry all day and I crave sweets and snacks and salty chips all day. It has been SUPER hard and I even went over my calories a little today because it was THAT hard. It seems so weird to me how much my brain plays tricks on me. And feeling hungry, is one of the hardest things for me to overcome. I can forced myself to workout, I can eat healthy food. But when I feel hungry, my brain says it it's time to eat. Some people would say I should have a small snack when that happens. Haha NO. If I went by that today, I would have been munching every 30 minutes. I read somewhere that sometimes an obese person mixes their body's signals of 'I'm hungry' with the signal of 'I'm thirsty' and so when you feel a hunger pain to drink a glass of water. That actually REALLY helps me sometimes! Not today. I think some days are just going to be bad days when it comes to that do I'm just going to have to learn how to overcome it! Today I give myself a D- for effort on that because I went over my calories. I will do better next time. I will!!
Have sweet dreams my friends :)
<3 Honor
I find myself daydreaming a lot these days about how great it would be if I didn't have to work. I would be able to go to the gym every day! I just get so overwhelmed sometimes by how busy I feel like I am. And I honestly wonder if I will ever get over that feeling. I have been balancing work with workout time for 2 and half months now, and you would think maybe I would be adjusting a little by now, but the weekends are just really hard on me!
Today actually seemed to go by pretty slow, even though I had a lot to do and I think I know why....When I have good 'food' days, my day seems to fly by. By that, I mean that I feel full all day and don't have cravings to bad and those are GREAT DAYS! And then there's days like today, a bad 'food' day, when I feel hungry all day and I crave sweets and snacks and salty chips all day. It has been SUPER hard and I even went over my calories a little today because it was THAT hard. It seems so weird to me how much my brain plays tricks on me. And feeling hungry, is one of the hardest things for me to overcome. I can forced myself to workout, I can eat healthy food. But when I feel hungry, my brain says it it's time to eat. Some people would say I should have a small snack when that happens. Haha NO. If I went by that today, I would have been munching every 30 minutes. I read somewhere that sometimes an obese person mixes their body's signals of 'I'm hungry' with the signal of 'I'm thirsty' and so when you feel a hunger pain to drink a glass of water. That actually REALLY helps me sometimes! Not today. I think some days are just going to be bad days when it comes to that do I'm just going to have to learn how to overcome it! Today I give myself a D- for effort on that because I went over my calories. I will do better next time. I will!!
Have sweet dreams my friends :)
<3 Honor
Friday, February 10, 2012
Day 75: Snooze Addiction
I am NOT a morning person! I just thought I would throw that out there. I actually would LOVE to be able to get up early in the mornings and get stuff done and get a short workout in..ha, yea right! It takes me 15 minutes to get to work in the morning and I have to be there at Ten. So I do good to get up at 9:15...that gives me thirty minutes to get woke up, check my Facebook, eat breakfast, pack my lunch, and get dressed for work...yep...I'm late a lot! I really do have to stop sleeping to late! But what can I say? I get all snuggled in and I don't want to get up! Lol. I am a snooze button addict! So that's something I'm going to work on, we'll see how it goes...I was honestly hoping that maybe as I lost weight my body would stop acting like it needed 9-10 hours of sleep, so I'm still banking on that! ;)
Today was a pretty good day again. Friday's are days that I take off from working out so I always just kindof feel lazy on Friday's even though I am INSANELY sore from yesterday's torture...er...um...I mean workout! Haha. It really was pretty brutal though. I just did my best and with two weeks off from weight training...whew...I'm FEELIN IT!! I swear I was walking around that studio limping like an old lady!! Haha.
Whew! I'm TIRED!! And ready to snuggle up and go to sleep :-)
Good night friends!
<3 Honor
Today was a pretty good day again. Friday's are days that I take off from working out so I always just kindof feel lazy on Friday's even though I am INSANELY sore from yesterday's torture...er...um...I mean workout! Haha. It really was pretty brutal though. I just did my best and with two weeks off from weight training...whew...I'm FEELIN IT!! I swear I was walking around that studio limping like an old lady!! Haha.
Whew! I'm TIRED!! And ready to snuggle up and go to sleep :-)
Good night friends!
<3 Honor
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Day 74: Week one or Week Eleven?
Oh my! My body feels like it did the very first week! If THAT'S what happens when you change up your workout I sure hope it means I'll see some good numbers this week!! I am literally aching in muscles all throughout my body! Lol. I'm sure I look like an old lady walking through the store!
Today was a pretty good day. Work was pretty good, and over fast because I worked a short day today, and then I got enjoy lunch at Subway with my sis (her treat, which is always great!) And we did a little wondering around Walmart and a little bit of shopping. Now I'm about to be headed to the gym for hopefully a really great workout!
This weekend is going to be crazy and I'm not excited about it...I have to work in Cape tomorrow all day, plus an hour and I half of driving and then I work 10 more hours on Saturday, Sunday, and back to Cape on Monday. It's going to be rough and I'm going to super excited to see Tuesday come!
Have a great evening!
<3 Honor
Today was a pretty good day. Work was pretty good, and over fast because I worked a short day today, and then I got enjoy lunch at Subway with my sis (her treat, which is always great!) And we did a little wondering around Walmart and a little bit of shopping. Now I'm about to be headed to the gym for hopefully a really great workout!
This weekend is going to be crazy and I'm not excited about it...I have to work in Cape tomorrow all day, plus an hour and I half of driving and then I work 10 more hours on Saturday, Sunday, and back to Cape on Monday. It's going to be rough and I'm going to super excited to see Tuesday come!
Have a great evening!
<3 Honor
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Day 73: A new level of NO PAIN, NO GAIN!!
Holy Toledo my body hurts!! I don't quite understand why I'm hurting SO bad, but I do know part of the cause. I really, honestly believe that the two weeks I spent on the Ironman stuff and then coming back to Zumba and Ypump may be largely responsible.All I know is...I HURT! And I'm a tad bit frustrated with my knee! It's REALLY hurting right now!! So I went to Walgreens tonight and got this hot/cold pack thing that has a little brave it goes inside of and you can Velcro it to your knee...DEAR LORD I pray that it helps! And my right foot is REALLY getting to me too. Otherwise, besides a little muscle discomfort, I feel great! It's frustrating to have that stuff to deal with because I feel like I've come so far, and I don't have time for any set-backs!
I get so angry when I go to get something, like a knee brace, or workout clothes, and they don't come big enough for me. Are you kidding me? With the workout clothes I get insanely mad because it's just ridiculous!! Larger people are the people who actually NEED to lose weight and need clothes to workout in. I think that just gives overweight people an easy out and is just more cause for low self-esteem. Yes, I also think smaller people need to workout to be healthy, but sheesh man, really?!? I honestly don't think that the healthier portion of the general public gives a rats butt about the Obesity problem in our nation and the more I find out about it, the more ticked off I become.
Ok, with that said, I feel much better now. Lol. What can I say? I'm passionate about what I believe!
Today has been a stressful day...I did well on my food, and even though I'm dealing with aches and pains and complaining about it, I still burned 2200 calories in the gym today. But we are dealing with some financial stress, and it's a pain in my butt. Our electric bill runs double and even triple to everyone we know, and now our water bill has tripled for some unknown reason (we checked for leaks and there are none) so yea...life is stressing me out a bit. I get so annoyed when we finally think we are starting to get our heads above water for a minute, something comes along to shove us back under. Boo on that! I don't like it one bit.
But we will prevail, we always find a way. And although I may not like being patient or doing things differently than we planned, sometimes we've just got to like it or lump it.
Sorry my blog is so depressing today! I'll be sure to find something funny or entertaining to talk about tomorrow ;)
Love you all!
<3 Honor
I get so angry when I go to get something, like a knee brace, or workout clothes, and they don't come big enough for me. Are you kidding me? With the workout clothes I get insanely mad because it's just ridiculous!! Larger people are the people who actually NEED to lose weight and need clothes to workout in. I think that just gives overweight people an easy out and is just more cause for low self-esteem. Yes, I also think smaller people need to workout to be healthy, but sheesh man, really?!? I honestly don't think that the healthier portion of the general public gives a rats butt about the Obesity problem in our nation and the more I find out about it, the more ticked off I become.
Ok, with that said, I feel much better now. Lol. What can I say? I'm passionate about what I believe!
Today has been a stressful day...I did well on my food, and even though I'm dealing with aches and pains and complaining about it, I still burned 2200 calories in the gym today. But we are dealing with some financial stress, and it's a pain in my butt. Our electric bill runs double and even triple to everyone we know, and now our water bill has tripled for some unknown reason (we checked for leaks and there are none) so yea...life is stressing me out a bit. I get so annoyed when we finally think we are starting to get our heads above water for a minute, something comes along to shove us back under. Boo on that! I don't like it one bit.
But we will prevail, we always find a way. And although I may not like being patient or doing things differently than we planned, sometimes we've just got to like it or lump it.
Sorry my blog is so depressing today! I'll be sure to find something funny or entertaining to talk about tomorrow ;)
Love you all!
<3 Honor
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Day 72: Weigh-In Number Ten
Today marks the end of my tenth week in this journey...it's so crazy for me to wrap my head around! On one hand it seems like it has taken Forever to get to this point, but on the other hand, it seems like it was just yesterday that I sat in a room full of overweight people knowing they were all my competition and sizing them all up!
Last night, after my workout, I had a nice healthy turkey sandwich and some baked Cheetos and I was feeling good! I walk in the front door of my home and my nose is assaulted by the delicious aroma of greasy pizza and chocolate chip cookies!! Are you kidding me!??! I just about had a freakin heart attack! I was instantly ticked off at my husband and decided to take a Melatonin and go to bed before I either killed my husband or ate some food I definitely had no business eating ESPECIALLY the night before a weigh in!!
I had made up my mind...if I had a loss this morning, I was going to treat myself to some All Meat Stuffed Crust pizza, but if I didn't lose anything, I wouldn't be able to splurge because I would have to make up for not losing. So I get on the scale this morning and bam!! Two more pounds!! Woohooo! 297.2...getting farther away from that 300 and it feels great! So that's it! I get pizza for dinner! Out of curiosity I get on My fitness pal and look up the pizza I planned to get....480 Calories PER SLICE! Are you KIDDING me!?? That's pure evil! And I know dang good and well I'm going to eat at least 3-4 pieces because it's been so long since I've had any!! Argh!! 1900 calories? Really!? So I stewed about it for a few hours and in the end I decided that there was no way I spent the last 71 days busting my butt and eating (mostly) healthy to screw up That Bad now. So I got a Veggie Delight pizza and enjoyed a 600 calorie dinner instead of a 2000 calorie one!
In the end, I'm very proud of myself for the way I handled my day. I stayed under 1500 calories AND I burned nearly 1800 today at the gym. :) It has been a very good day for me and I can't WAIT to see what the next few weeks have in store for me!
On Day 1 of my journey my BMI was 56.5. Wow. And today...Day 72, my BMI is 48! So it has dropped 8.5 points! And I've lost 52.7 pounds :-) Yay!!!
Thanks for tuning in ;-)
<3 Honor
Last night, after my workout, I had a nice healthy turkey sandwich and some baked Cheetos and I was feeling good! I walk in the front door of my home and my nose is assaulted by the delicious aroma of greasy pizza and chocolate chip cookies!! Are you kidding me!??! I just about had a freakin heart attack! I was instantly ticked off at my husband and decided to take a Melatonin and go to bed before I either killed my husband or ate some food I definitely had no business eating ESPECIALLY the night before a weigh in!!
I had made up my mind...if I had a loss this morning, I was going to treat myself to some All Meat Stuffed Crust pizza, but if I didn't lose anything, I wouldn't be able to splurge because I would have to make up for not losing. So I get on the scale this morning and bam!! Two more pounds!! Woohooo! 297.2...getting farther away from that 300 and it feels great! So that's it! I get pizza for dinner! Out of curiosity I get on My fitness pal and look up the pizza I planned to get....480 Calories PER SLICE! Are you KIDDING me!?? That's pure evil! And I know dang good and well I'm going to eat at least 3-4 pieces because it's been so long since I've had any!! Argh!! 1900 calories? Really!? So I stewed about it for a few hours and in the end I decided that there was no way I spent the last 71 days busting my butt and eating (mostly) healthy to screw up That Bad now. So I got a Veggie Delight pizza and enjoyed a 600 calorie dinner instead of a 2000 calorie one!
In the end, I'm very proud of myself for the way I handled my day. I stayed under 1500 calories AND I burned nearly 1800 today at the gym. :) It has been a very good day for me and I can't WAIT to see what the next few weeks have in store for me!
On Day 1 of my journey my BMI was 56.5. Wow. And today...Day 72, my BMI is 48! So it has dropped 8.5 points! And I've lost 52.7 pounds :-) Yay!!!
Thanks for tuning in ;-)
<3 Honor
Monday, February 6, 2012
Day 71: Healthy Life NOT Healthy Diet!
I was talking a little to my sister this morning about our Goal weights. I am 5'5" so according to my doctor, a healthy weight for a woman of my bone structure and height is between 130-144. I originally set my goal to 150. But the honest truth is that, after a lifetime of obesity, my body may not let go of all of that weight. He suggested that we, "Wait and see what the future holds for me". That's great...but I need a realistic goal. So I settled on 175. Which would literally be half of the me from Day 1. Wow. But I really believe I can do it!
I am fully aware that the work does not end when the weight comes off. It's going to be a Healthy Life not a Healthy Diet. I have resolved from Day 1 that this is what I will do and I'm going for it!
It's fun to dream about how things will be when I get the excess weight off, but afterward I have to come back to my reality...I'm still morbidly obese. It's really hard for me, when I am feeling so much better and I'm able to do so much more than I've ever been able to do...and I look in the mirror and then it's like BAM!! I'm still fat...dang. Lol...yea I'm being a little silly I know, but hey, that's me. :-) I really don't want to be that person that loses the weight and then looks in the mirror and only sees what 'used to be' instead of the reality. THAT'S why I took before pictures...I'm a photographer...I can't see a lie in a photograph...it's the 'Honest to God' truth. So...I am excited to see the official before and after!!
Today was a really great day! I kept my diet around 1350 calories and I left 2200 calories on the Zumba floor! I'm noticing a pattern. Monday's are the day before my weigh-ins, and I seem to have really good days on Monday's. If only I could mentally make the shift to treat every day like a Monday, I would be in BUSINESS! If my weigh-in goes really well...then Tuesday is always a great day! But if my weigh-in does NOT go well...then it's a not so good day...it's crazy how I know these things...yet when it starts to go bad, I can't seem to stop it. This is the ONE THING that I KNOW I have control over. That's something I have to keep telling myself...because sometimes I get in to the mindset that I can't help it...and that's just a lie. I can. And I do. And there's no excuse for failing.
Thank you for your support :-)
<3 Honor
P. S. Here's the pic at the Y showing I'm an Iron(wo)man :-)) :-)) I hope I get to take it home after they have them up for a while. ;)
I am fully aware that the work does not end when the weight comes off. It's going to be a Healthy Life not a Healthy Diet. I have resolved from Day 1 that this is what I will do and I'm going for it!
It's fun to dream about how things will be when I get the excess weight off, but afterward I have to come back to my reality...I'm still morbidly obese. It's really hard for me, when I am feeling so much better and I'm able to do so much more than I've ever been able to do...and I look in the mirror and then it's like BAM!! I'm still fat...dang. Lol...yea I'm being a little silly I know, but hey, that's me. :-) I really don't want to be that person that loses the weight and then looks in the mirror and only sees what 'used to be' instead of the reality. THAT'S why I took before pictures...I'm a photographer...I can't see a lie in a photograph...it's the 'Honest to God' truth. So...I am excited to see the official before and after!!
Today was a really great day! I kept my diet around 1350 calories and I left 2200 calories on the Zumba floor! I'm noticing a pattern. Monday's are the day before my weigh-ins, and I seem to have really good days on Monday's. If only I could mentally make the shift to treat every day like a Monday, I would be in BUSINESS! If my weigh-in goes really well...then Tuesday is always a great day! But if my weigh-in does NOT go well...then it's a not so good day...it's crazy how I know these things...yet when it starts to go bad, I can't seem to stop it. This is the ONE THING that I KNOW I have control over. That's something I have to keep telling myself...because sometimes I get in to the mindset that I can't help it...and that's just a lie. I can. And I do. And there's no excuse for failing.
Thank you for your support :-)
<3 Honor
P. S. Here's the pic at the Y showing I'm an Iron(wo)man :-)) :-)) I hope I get to take it home after they have them up for a while. ;)
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Day 70: Glad the weekend is over!
Weekends are really hard for me! But for a different reason than most people. Most people are off on the weekends and have a hard time dealing with their days off and making smart decisions...not me! My problem is that I work the MOST on the weekends so I can't find hardly any time or energy to workout! By the time Sunday night rolls around, I'm exhausted, and haven't worked out in TWO days! That's not ok for me! Especially not while I'm in this challenge! I don't have the time to take it easy if I want to win! Grrr...! Lol so now it's nearly 8:00 on Sunday night and I have to go home (eating a Subway sandwich on my way), change into workout clothes and drive 30 minutes to the only gym that's open 24 hours in my area...and I'm already EXHAUSTED!! This is my life...lol...but I have already been rewarded heavily for my diligence so there's not a chance that I'm giving up now!!
I have to say...I have a jealousy problem...let me explain. When I'm in the grocery store, and I see this teeny tiny woman shopping and buying all of the stuff my body thinks it wants...yea I get jealous, because she doesn't have to struggle like I do. Or when I do go out for dinner and there are people who can have whatever they want because they don't gain weight and I can gain 5 pounds just by LOOKING at their dinner...yep, I get jealous. BUT...I have come to realize, that the struggle to get the weight off and KEEP it off, is just going to make me mentally and physically stronger, and although they might be able to eat whatever they want now...a lot of times those people really struggle with their weight later in life and have absolutely no idea how to fix it. At least I'm still fairly young and digging my heals in now...so when I am older, I can enjoy my life and live it to its fullest!!
This week has been a very hard week for me, and it will undoubtably show on the scale. I can't undo any of the decisions I've made this week, I can just choose to not repeat them!
I honestly believe that if I didn't have to work so much, I would be able to do so much better at this! But I just have to work with what I've got...
Thanks for tuning in! Have a great night :-)
<3 Honor
I have to say...I have a jealousy problem...let me explain. When I'm in the grocery store, and I see this teeny tiny woman shopping and buying all of the stuff my body thinks it wants...yea I get jealous, because she doesn't have to struggle like I do. Or when I do go out for dinner and there are people who can have whatever they want because they don't gain weight and I can gain 5 pounds just by LOOKING at their dinner...yep, I get jealous. BUT...I have come to realize, that the struggle to get the weight off and KEEP it off, is just going to make me mentally and physically stronger, and although they might be able to eat whatever they want now...a lot of times those people really struggle with their weight later in life and have absolutely no idea how to fix it. At least I'm still fairly young and digging my heals in now...so when I am older, I can enjoy my life and live it to its fullest!!
This week has been a very hard week for me, and it will undoubtably show on the scale. I can't undo any of the decisions I've made this week, I can just choose to not repeat them!
I honestly believe that if I didn't have to work so much, I would be able to do so much better at this! But I just have to work with what I've got...
Thanks for tuning in! Have a great night :-)
<3 Honor
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Day 69: Ouchie Ankle
I woke up this morning with my ankle bothering me...I'm not quite sure hat is going on with it but I'm pretty sure it's not sprained or anything serious, it's jut tender...and that stinks! I'm indenting if maybe it's complaining from all the walking I did Thursday, because that was a lot more than any other day.
Today has been a good day...I'm training someone at work, so that makes my day go by faster...and I was pretty busy all day so that helps too!
I got to see my Olivia today and she looks great!! Those pounds seem to be MELTING off of that woman. :-) She has already gotten to small for some of her clothes so she brought them to me, she's so sweet! So now I have to grow in to them!
Today has been a long day so I'm going to keep it short. Good night my friends!
<3 Honor
Today has been a good day...I'm training someone at work, so that makes my day go by faster...and I was pretty busy all day so that helps too!
I got to see my Olivia today and she looks great!! Those pounds seem to be MELTING off of that woman. :-) She has already gotten to small for some of her clothes so she brought them to me, she's so sweet! So now I have to grow in to them!
Today has been a long day so I'm going to keep it short. Good night my friends!
<3 Honor
Friday, February 3, 2012
Day 68: Looooong Day
I wonder why it is that whenever you are at work and not much is going on it just seems to drag on and on and ON! That's EXACTLY how my day went today! Friday's and Saturday's are my longest shifts at work, and Friday's have been pretty slow lately so they really drag. So guess what I like to do when I'm bored?? EAT!! Ha! Yep, like I've said before I'm a snacker....so when I'm bored...I want to nibble...and it's not usually something healthy that I have in mind! BAD IDEA! So I survived without snacking...but I did NOT survive the day without being bad :( I got off at 8 and I felt like I was starving and exhausted and missing my hubby, because he worked all night last night. So instead of making a Smart decision and going home and fixing a quick dinner...I called him and said we should go eat Mexican...NOOOOOOO...a good hubby SHOULD have said, "Now babe...do you really think that's going to help you reach your goals?" Or, "I thought you wanted to win that $1000!" But that's NOT what my wonderful hubby said....oh no...he said, "Ok honey, I'll meet you there!" And he was WAY to excited about it!! LOL The last time I talked about him in my blog he picked on me about it..I guess I'll find out if he's still reading....(Love you honey)!
I have been having issues with going to sleep and staying asleep lately...I don't know if it's because of all of the new energy I use with my new lifestyle or what, but it's hard to actually fall asleep, and then I wake up throughout the night...YUCK! I need my beauty rest! I always feel like I need 9-10 hours of sleep before I feel rested even when I don't have trouble sleeping! So a few weeks ago I bought some Melatonin (It's a vitamin that promotes sleep) and I love them! Within a half hour or so I'm ready to conk out and stay that way! And the thing I love is that I don't feel groggy in the morning..woohoo! I just wish I could get to where 6-8 hours of sleep had me feeling well rested in the morning. That would be nice!
Have a good day tomorrow! My Melatonin is kicking in! :)
<3 Honor
I have been having issues with going to sleep and staying asleep lately...I don't know if it's because of all of the new energy I use with my new lifestyle or what, but it's hard to actually fall asleep, and then I wake up throughout the night...YUCK! I need my beauty rest! I always feel like I need 9-10 hours of sleep before I feel rested even when I don't have trouble sleeping! So a few weeks ago I bought some Melatonin (It's a vitamin that promotes sleep) and I love them! Within a half hour or so I'm ready to conk out and stay that way! And the thing I love is that I don't feel groggy in the morning..woohoo! I just wish I could get to where 6-8 hours of sleep had me feeling well rested in the morning. That would be nice!
Have a good day tomorrow! My Melatonin is kicking in! :)
<3 Honor
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Day 67: The D Word & My Soap Box
I feel like I'm going to jinx myself by saying this, but I have to...lol. I really think this is starting to get easier! The food AND the exercise. It's amazing how different I feel. My feet are already starting to be noticeably better. And I'm not quite sure when it happened, but putting on tennis shoes is soooooo much easier!!
I have been utterly overwhelmed by the amount of messages and friend requests I've received on Facebook over the past few days! I love sharing my story and maybe even motivating someone else to start a journey of their own.
I am always so careful not to call my 'eating plan' a 'diet' because that word has always been like a curse word in my vocabulary! It's like this unattainable dream that was never within reach! But the fact of the matter is that the definition of Diet is - the act of restricting your food intake (or your intake of particular foods). Which is EXACTLY what I'm doing. And the reality of my life is that I will most likely always have to be on a 'diet'. I'm not going to lose all of this excess fat and then just go to eating anything and everything I want whenever I want. That's not reality. Reality is that I will always have to restrict my food intake and be especially careful of certain foods. My journey will be on-going as long as I live, but of course, the amount of restriction will change, as I reach a healthier weight. And the same thing goes for you too!
You know, I was watching the Biggest Loser (Season 8) last night, and they were doing this Pop Challenge quiz where they were asked all sorts of health questions. And during this segment I learned that Americans spend $147 BILLION dollars a YEAR on obesity related medical care! Are you kidding me??!!? And it was $90 billion for cancer. And I'm sure you realize that the fight for cancer is HUGE! And insanely expensive for the extremely unfortunate people who have to deal with the Chemo and Radiation and all of the medications and the research and such...and Obesity is 50% MORE than that!!! Wow!! What are we doing to ourselves? Our children? Our families? We are destroying our lives with something that, for most people, is as simple as learning to eat nutritiously with a calorie restricted diet and finding some way to get 30 minutes of Cardio activity a day in (even if it's a walk) and you WILL lose weight! Not as fast as I am, of course, but it will come off! I know that I personally have failed at this for many MANY years...but my eyes are WIDE open now and it's likely to make me crazy!! Lol
And now I will step down off of my soap box... Hehe
So I tried the new wraps that I talked about yesterday, the ones made with Extra Virgin Olive Oil...and I LOVE them! I hate the Taste of many of the healthier bread options, because I always feel like I'm eating cardboard! But these don't have that taste! Yay!! So I definitely enjoyed my lunch today :) I am now headed to the Y to attempt to finish the requirements for the Ironman Competition! I have 6.2 miles of the walk/run left and I am DONE!! I am sooooooo ready to be done too! I am super proud of myself for taking on this challenge and making it happen, but I am also so so ready to go back to my Zumba and Ypump classes and using the Elipticle. Those are my favorites. And with classes I get to see people and visit and that keeps me motivated!
Until tomorrow...
<3 Honor :-)
I have been utterly overwhelmed by the amount of messages and friend requests I've received on Facebook over the past few days! I love sharing my story and maybe even motivating someone else to start a journey of their own.
I am always so careful not to call my 'eating plan' a 'diet' because that word has always been like a curse word in my vocabulary! It's like this unattainable dream that was never within reach! But the fact of the matter is that the definition of Diet is - the act of restricting your food intake (or your intake of particular foods). Which is EXACTLY what I'm doing. And the reality of my life is that I will most likely always have to be on a 'diet'. I'm not going to lose all of this excess fat and then just go to eating anything and everything I want whenever I want. That's not reality. Reality is that I will always have to restrict my food intake and be especially careful of certain foods. My journey will be on-going as long as I live, but of course, the amount of restriction will change, as I reach a healthier weight. And the same thing goes for you too!
You know, I was watching the Biggest Loser (Season 8) last night, and they were doing this Pop Challenge quiz where they were asked all sorts of health questions. And during this segment I learned that Americans spend $147 BILLION dollars a YEAR on obesity related medical care! Are you kidding me??!!? And it was $90 billion for cancer. And I'm sure you realize that the fight for cancer is HUGE! And insanely expensive for the extremely unfortunate people who have to deal with the Chemo and Radiation and all of the medications and the research and such...and Obesity is 50% MORE than that!!! Wow!! What are we doing to ourselves? Our children? Our families? We are destroying our lives with something that, for most people, is as simple as learning to eat nutritiously with a calorie restricted diet and finding some way to get 30 minutes of Cardio activity a day in (even if it's a walk) and you WILL lose weight! Not as fast as I am, of course, but it will come off! I know that I personally have failed at this for many MANY years...but my eyes are WIDE open now and it's likely to make me crazy!! Lol
And now I will step down off of my soap box... Hehe
So I tried the new wraps that I talked about yesterday, the ones made with Extra Virgin Olive Oil...and I LOVE them! I hate the Taste of many of the healthier bread options, because I always feel like I'm eating cardboard! But these don't have that taste! Yay!! So I definitely enjoyed my lunch today :) I am now headed to the Y to attempt to finish the requirements for the Ironman Competition! I have 6.2 miles of the walk/run left and I am DONE!! I am sooooooo ready to be done too! I am super proud of myself for taking on this challenge and making it happen, but I am also so so ready to go back to my Zumba and Ypump classes and using the Elipticle. Those are my favorites. And with classes I get to see people and visit and that keeps me motivated!
Until tomorrow...
<3 Honor :-)
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Day 66: Ahhh Pre-portioning
I've said it before and I'm going to say it again...I love pre-portioning! I am currently hooked on turkey wraps for lunch and I can make a whole package of wraps up in half an hour and I'm good to go for the week! My wraps are pretty simple too! I have tried a few different kinds of wraps and I'm currently trying even another kind, this kind is whole wheat and made with extra virgin olive oil 100 calories per wrap. And I put a thin spread over my wrap (combination of fat free sour cream and dried ranch mix) which keeps it from being to dry and then turkey and lettuce and roll that puppy up! I cut my wraps in half and put them in sandwich bags so that when it's time to pack my lunch, I can grab and go! I like to have yogurt and baby carrots with it and sometimes when I'm feeling dangerous I'll add some sum chips or Lays Baked chips. Mmm...lol. I do the same thing for dinners a lot too. I just feel so busy with work, and working out and everything else. So cooking a little on my days off saves me from making poor decisions through my work week. Plus some stuff lasts much longer than just through the week! Like all that stir fry and chicken a cooked up a few weeks ago...I still have a lot of that in the freezer (thank goodness I have a deep freeze!)
I have been on cloud nine all day yesterday and it has bled over on to today! I've been honest about the fact that I have a bit of a weighing addiction, and it seems like the past 3 or 4 weeks, the day after I weigh I always go up 3 or 4 pounds!! How discouraging!! Well...I'm in 2dur land...so this morning I just couldn't help myself...I got on the scale....AND I'M STILL IN 2DUR LAND! Yay! That may not seem like a big deal to most people, but to me...it's MONUMENTAL!! I even had a nice dinner (including desert) last night at the China Buffet! I still didn't go over my 1500 calorie budget though. :) I just ate really lightly all day because I knew I was having dinner with my family and I wanted to be able to include a little dessert.
My hubby took a progress photo for me last night and I did a little side-by-side compared to day 1 (I'll include the pic at the bottom of my blog--not sure how big it will be on here) I was shocked at how different my face looked!! I didn't realize how pudgy it was getting! see progress!
Thanks for reading!!
<3 Honor
I have been on cloud nine all day yesterday and it has bled over on to today! I've been honest about the fact that I have a bit of a weighing addiction, and it seems like the past 3 or 4 weeks, the day after I weigh I always go up 3 or 4 pounds!! How discouraging!! Well...I'm in 2dur land...so this morning I just couldn't help myself...I got on the scale....AND I'M STILL IN 2DUR LAND! Yay! That may not seem like a big deal to most people, but to me...it's MONUMENTAL!! I even had a nice dinner (including desert) last night at the China Buffet! I still didn't go over my 1500 calorie budget though. :) I just ate really lightly all day because I knew I was having dinner with my family and I wanted to be able to include a little dessert.
My hubby took a progress photo for me last night and I did a little side-by-side compared to day 1 (I'll include the pic at the bottom of my blog--not sure how big it will be on here) I was shocked at how different my face looked!! I didn't realize how pudgy it was getting! see progress!
Thanks for reading!!
<3 Honor
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)