I had an unsuspected surprise comment from my mother-in-law this morning that made my day. What you have to understand is that she is very oblivious to her surroundings. She's schizophrenic and bi-polar and she is super sweet. She actually lives with my husband and I, because for some reason, she makes her own financial decisions and those decisions got her in a rut that she just couldn't get out of without help. So she has been staying with us since June of last year. Before then, I just thought she was this crazy psychotic woman and I didn't really 'know' her, if you know what I mean. But, in the time she has lived with us, I've really gotten to know her and her quirks and actually understand her a whole lot better. Now I love her, despite her craziness. :) so anyways, I felt like you needed a basic understanding of her, to know why her comment meant so much to me. We were standing in the middle of church service during worship, and she looks over at me, then she looks down and back up to my face and she leans over and says, "Honor, those pants are falling off of you!" lol! It was such a matter of a fact statement and it really caught me off guard! But it really touched me too! That was her way of complimenting my weight-loss in the only way she new how.
I don't remember if I ever wrote about emotions before, I know I planned to, but I thought I would go a little more in depth about it today anyways. The further I get into this journey, the more my emotions are on a roller coaster! I can cry, laugh, or scream at the drop of a hat! I don't know if it's just because I am changing what goes in to my body so drastically, or maybe my hormone levels are just all out of whack, but I hope it levels off just a little!
I was in church this morning, and really thinking about how much I've missed over the past few months because I've been so exhausted that I literally choose sleeping in sometimes over getting up and going. I have a great associate who works two hours every Sunday morning (10-12) so that I am able to go, and I sleep in instead of going sometimes! (It's that whole, can't get enough sleep thing that I talked about the other day) And I feel like dirt about it. I don't talk a lot about My spirituality in this blog, mostly because I don't want someone to not read it because they feel like I'm 'preaching' to them or something. Well that's crap. And I'm done with that. Without God, I would have NEVER made it this far in my journey. In fact, I believe that the reason I finally had the determination to start this journey was because he put it on my heart. And what have I done over the past 76 days to thank him? I have fellowshipped with my very special church family less, I have gone to church less, and I actually realized today that I even PRAY less! Thank God for SMACKING me in the face with that this morning! Because THAT stops today too. I feel refreshed today, renewed, at peace. My pastor preached a great message that really spoke to me.
I feel completely blessed right now. Yes, I still have worries and concerns with our finances, no, my life is far from perfect. BUT...my 9 year wedding anniversary is on Wednesday and I love my husband very much. We have a roof over our heads and the money to be able to buy healthy foods(because we all know, they cost more), and we have many other blessings that I take or granted too!
My emotions are so crazed out right now, that I am listening to the preacher talk about his visit to the doctor a few weeks before and how out of control his sugar was and I just was thinking, "wow it's a blessing he's even here! His sugar problems could have put home in a sugar coma!" and I started crying. Then I got myself under control again, and BAM someone I love to death was standing behind me bawling her eyes out on the pastor's wife's shoulder and I start crying again. Just because I didn't know what was wrong with her, and I was sad because she was sad. Lol. NO, I'm not pregnant. I wish. But no. I'm just an emotional wreck!
I thank God for bringing me on this journey and giving me the will power that I lack. I know that some day I will be able to look back on this entire crazy journey and I'll say something like, "It seemed never ending while I was trudging through day by day, but looking back it all happened pretty fast" and I know that's the way I'll feel, because it's already been 77 days!! Wow!
Thank you, my friends, for inspiring me and motivating me. :-)
<3 Honor
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