Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Day 79 & 80: Weigh-Day and my 9th Anniversary

Well yesterday was day 79 and weigh day number eleven. I was not, in the least bit, happy with my results. I lost one pound, for the third week in a row. I'm ticked. I worked out HARD for four days. And by hard, I mean HARD. THREE hours in the gym burning 2000 calories each day and I worked out a fifth day, just not as hard, and the two days I didn't work out, I worked ten hour days and busted my butt! So yea, I'm ticked. I know it was a loss and that's great, but with as much effort as I put in, I expect more from my body. I am, by no means, ready to give up. If anything, I'm ready to work harder. I just know the science of it, so it's extremely frustrating for my body to do this to me.

On a different, is my 9 year wedding anniversary. We got married when I was 19 and Jamie was 20. We were young and dumb and not ready to get married. But we didn't listen to a word anybody said because we didn't care. I had never felt so loved in my short 19 years and he made me feel special. So right before Christmas of 2002 we decided we were going to get married. Yes, I said it, 'we decided'. I remember we were driving down the road and we were just talking and Jamie says, "Hey wouldn't it be cool if we got married?" I was " mom would kill me, but yea, that would be cool" lol. And that's how we decided to get married. And then we had to decided when? Jamie would have been happy with Christmas or New Year's, but I said that I had to get my parents prepared for it, and if we did it that soon they really would freak out. So we decided on Valentine's Day. The problem with was that Valentine's Day 2003 was on a Friday and we wanted our family and friends to be able to come, so we decided on the 15th. I really don't remember much of our wedding day. We sat at dinner tonight reminiscing on the day, and what we remember and I was surprised at how much I couldn't remember! I do remember that they got our songs out of order so the song that was suppose to be played as a recessional was played in the middle of the ceremony and it was over 5 minutes long! So we just stood there giggling at each other and just a little embarrassed because everybody was watching us. I barely remember anything at all from our reception. That was a day that I didn't feel fat. I felt loved. I felt special. But I never felt subconscious about my size. We had issues with our wedding pictures, we didn't have a professional, just candids, and my moms film disappeared. So the only pictures we ever got, we're a few that a friend had taken! I remember looking at those the first time and being shocked! I felt like I looked beautiful...and when I looked at the pictures I was surprised to see myself looking fat and outdated and not beautiful at all. My mom would disagree with me, but I can still look back at those pictures and really wish I had done a LOT of things differently.

My marriage has been full of some crazy ups and downs. Petty fights, lots of laughing at our own stupidity and because we were so young, I think we've done a lot of growing up together too. We've made bad decisions and a few good ones too. But above all we made the decision to commit to each other for a lifetime. No matter how crazy he makes me, I never regret that decision. We have both worked very hard to be where we are today, and at one point in our lives he worked two full time jobs so that we could live above poverty. We are by no means rich, but we aren't poor either. And that is because of how hard he works.

Today, I did not count Calories. It is one day. And I do not believe that one day will spoil all of my progress. I'm sorry if anyone doesn't agree, but tomorrow is another day and I will be working my butt of again like usual.

Thanks for sharing my ups and downs with me. Thank you for your encouraging words. And thank you for being there. :-)
<3 Honor

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